My husband needs help getting off of crack cocaine and we can't afford a rehab, Any suggestions?

Question

When my husband was 17 he was convicted of a felony for posession of crack cocaine. He did deferred adjudicated probation for it and completed it properly. He picked it up here and there a few years later and could always put it down when he was done with it in the past. Well shortly after we got married he took off for about 4 days and went on a binge. I told him that I wouldn't allow it and that it needed to stop. He stopped for a few months and then started working nights again and I found out that he was doing it again and once again he took off on another binge. Shortly after I found out that I was pregnant and he said that he would never do it again because he loved me and didn't want to lose me or the baby. He was really excited about the baby and went to get outpatient help to get better and to kick his habit. Last night he did a tow for a friend of ours and didn't come home and I have a gut feeling that he did it again! I love him but I wont stand by if he wont try

Answer 1

I have been there with my husband, trust me people tell you to dump them but i stuck it out and he has changed, they want to change but the drug is so addictive and overpowering that when they slip its hard for them to pick themselves up again. You have got to be stern but not too much, dont let him handle money. And trust me the wife also needs counselling to know how to handle the situation and control emotions of anger. If you are not a strong independent person, the road ahead is going to be very hard when they are trying to kick the habit, so make ur choice now. I ran my house for months on end with 2 kids and no support from either his or my family, while he was in rehab, there are government institutions that dont cost much, make it your duty to find out. Oh and many people say you and your kid will be better off without him, but trust me, no one will help you through your hard times even when we did not have food to eat, all they can do is lecture you on how you will be better off without him. Anyway i am glad today that i took him back and helped him through his problem, trust me he changed so much that even i cannot believe it at times. You know people say theres no hope for a crack addict - i can tell you they are wrong, every individual has room for improvement and everyone wants a good life, they are just sick people who need love and support and lots of counselling but it still takes time to kick the habit.

Answer 2

Crack, cocaine is one of the hardest addictions to kick the habbit, and when a person is exposed to it no matter how much the little angel on their shoulder tells them NO, it's so much easier to give into the temptation of it. Are his binges putting you in financial difficulty? Over time it will. I know you don't want to be the nagging wife but your concern is genuine and you have every right to worry about his falling off the wagon, especially with a new baby on the way. If he truly wants to kick the habit it's not impossible. Ask him if he wants his family or if he wants his habit more. If he wants his family, ask him to take the money that he uses for his coke and apply it to treatments. If you don't forsee him trading one for the other tell him you can't or won't let the baby be exposed to it. It's not fair to any of you. Ultimatums are hard and should not be placed in a relationship but there are times when it is necessary to put you foot down for the best interest of everyone directly involved. Show him you want to support him and not rule him but he has to show you he can and wants to meet you half way. When he says "i'm trying the best I can" tell him his best is not good enough. Explain to him you don't want something like this to come between the good thing that you and he have together but he has got to decide which is more important to him and which addiction (family or drug) he CAN'T live with out, and consider himself warned. One day he may wake up and find his drug but not his family and then it will be to late to say 'im sorry or i'll try harder' and you won't be as supportive and understanding then, because he ran out of 'second chances' a long time ago. Best of luck, and don't give up there is room for hope for him, but don't forget about you and your needs, when the hope runs dry.

Answer 3

First of all no matter what you try.He's got to be willing and ready I was in a relationship with a man on drugs for three years and there was nothing I could do until he was ready.Now he's clean and trying to keep his head together.There are things you two can do together because you need help to,to heal from the pain he's caused you.You two can go to AA there should be one in your city or somewhere near.And they will give you the advice you need to go from there.Also seek out a Pastor or Couseling some people do this for free in these cases.There is help out there you just have to be willing to find it and he has to be willing admit he has a problem and get help.Put in AA in a Search on line and see what come up.I wish you two bright blessings and hope you will find the peace you seek.Best Wishes!!

Answer 4

I have had the exact problem. There is nothing you can say or do, unless he wants to change he won't. If he doesn't quit then you must leave. Otherwise you will loose everything. What good is he as a father and husband if he's always skipping out and spending all the money. Mark my words if this continues you'll wake up one day and your car will be sold, your phones cut off, no friends, your tv will be in the pawn shop, and Social Services will be knocking on your door.

Write to me if you want to talk to someone who's been there:
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Answer 5

I understand ur problem. Been there. Its hard, especially when a new baby is on the way (congrats!) But really, the only one who can help him is his self. Try talking to him. Sounds like you have, but be blunt. Let him know what your true feelings are. Is he willing to get in trouble in future and possibly lose baby?(child services, him killing himself, or a serious jail time) Also, have you called any churches? If you explain your story, maybe they will collect money to help your husband. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

this question sucks wow im a sober meth head for 5 months and only he can awnser this we had to move away farr from all the contacts and the peeps i thought was my freinds its a messed world we live in and its everyware so really you need to move on. but if you just have to be with him best of luck only he can change you do not have control on this one im sorry. good luck to you. he has to hit the bottom which he obvisouly hasnt or he wouldnt still go back and forth. its very hard some peeps have to have there whole life(family and house and jobs) taken from them in order to wake- up some do some dont. sorry

Answer 7

I'm sorry, but I was in a situation kind of like yours. I had no idea my ex-husband was doing crack until his sister informed me. First of all, you now have a child. You must do what is best for that child. Your husband needs to get off the drugs because he doesn't want to do them anymore. He sounds to me like he is having to many lapses. He has a very long history of drug abuse and he hasn't changed when he went to jail, got married, or had a child. I would hate to think that it will take death for him to stop. There is support groups you can join to help yourself get out of this situation. Remember there is nothing you can do for him, he had to do it himself.

Answer 8

You must have him go to a detox place. These places are usually paid by insurance, you can look them up in the phone book or go or call your local hosipital they have the numbers to the actual detox places that will be best for him. But it will never work unless HE wants to change and get clean. After awhile you can only wait for someone so long to get their life together, you have to do what is best for you and your child. God Bless...

Answer 9

You can't make him get help. He has to want to. 12 Step programs are free but it sounds like he needs an impatient program to really help with his addiction. I honestly don't know where you can go to get financial assistance for this. Surely there is maybe a state funded or even a church funded program that could help. You'll have to do some researching.

Answer 10

there are NA meeting that help. If a vet he can do a detox thru them. If he is working and has insurance most insurance companies will pay for a rehab. If on state aid they will also cover a rehab.

But the most important thing is he has to want to quit.