End it or keep plugging away?

Question

Howdy all. Basically my relationship with my girlfriend of two years is wrought with problems which mostly revolve around her psychological issues and also a fair bit around the fact that I'm a h*rny git (altough I never push anything). We broke up for two months and have been back together for a month. We both love each other and are very stubborn people. Sometimes I feel that the only reason we're still together is that I'm stubborn and refuse to give up on her. When it's good it's very good but when it's bad it's extremely bad and the bad is atleast 60% of the time. I love her but I'm also a realist, I know she'd never speak to me again if we broke up and I'd prefer to be friends so I could still look after her whilst being free to see others. So am I just an idiot prollonging both of our miseries? Or just keep pluuging away because things will improve eventually (ie 90% good times and 10% bad)? I'm really unsatisfied and often very sad around her but I just refuse to give up.......

Answer 1

Babes - do you honestly think its gona improve after all you've been through??? Dont stay with her just coz you dont want anyone else to have her! come on down here and Ill get ya drunk - girlfriend??? What girlfriend!!!! XX

Answer 2

Move on hon, prolonging it just makes it harder for both in the long run. I have been in a very unhappy relationship for 9 yrs. now and the only reason I haven't left is because of all these yrs., I don't know who I would be without him anymore. Unfortunately, things don't really get better, the same problems you have now will be there as long as the 2 of you are together. Also, while you are trying to make things better between the 2 of you, you could be missing out on someone that could make you truly happy. Then there is the fact that, you aren't getting any younger. From what I hear finding a quality relationship just gets harder the older you get. So, jump ship now, try to do it as nicely as possible, and start the search for the ONE a.s.a.p! Good Luck

Answer 3

if your unhappy majority of the time it seems clear that you should part ..why prolong something that after two years hasnt changed ..ask yourself what is it that your fighting for ,,is it that you dont wont to lose her because you truly love her ..or is it that you dont want to feel like you failed ? ..if you have attempted to change your relationship ,,taking a less stubborn stand on things ,,seeking outside help for her issues ..the issues you have as a couple ..then im not sure there is much else you can do ..its never easy to leave a relationship ,,but it can be more destructive to you both to stay in an unheathly relationship..take a moment to think whats best for her ,,you ....good luck!

Answer 4

Its difficult I know. You will find that most long term relationships going in an up and down motion. What you need to decide is if the good time out way the bad and if not do you want to be asking the same question another two years down the line!!

Answer 5

Have you guys talked about all of this?

Being in that sort of relationship can be soul destroying with the potential of only getting worse.

Not that I'm saying that you should give up completely; but talk about it; define what's actually wrong and what's to be done about it - put some dates on activities to manage the improvement.

But it's better to be free and single than in a bad relationship.

Answer 6

If you refuse to give up then why ask our opinion? Breaking up with someone after being with them for so long will be hard but in the end it might be for the best. Knowing your not going to be there for her will make her relize what a good friend she had. Then again, things might work out. But, you have to take the first step either way ..... Good luck to you ......

Answer 7

I thought it was 50/50! But if that's the way you feel then may be it is time to move on and try to find that missing piece. But be warned it never always works that way as you may find the perfect bed partner but ever thing else is rubbish! So be careful you don't end up giving up some one who meant more then an extra few S***gs..... Don't let your pants take over!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

give it up, people don't change, I've wasted 5 years of my life doing exactly the same thing, It was hard and scary at first but now I have realised i am back to the old me and having the time of my life. Sometimes the will for the relationship to work and not to give in is stronger than the love and the relationship itself, your not happy, get out of their, you have to make yourself uncomfortable and take yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to make you comfortable in the future.

Answer 9

What sort of a conundrum is that? "I'm really unsatisified and often very sad around her but I refuse to give up" ... That suggestss to me that you want to give your relationship time to work itself out so why ask us if you should end it?

Stay with her, talk to her at length about how you feel, how she feels and what you both want, then resolve to make a fresh start or a clean break depending on how you BOTH feel.

Answer 10

I f you stay in this relationship you will be as unhealthy as she is
no thing will not get better that what we all want and wish for
you two can eventually end up together for life
but for now you two need to grow up separatly
she need to get help and get better (for her)
then she can have a healthy relationship & you the same

Answer 11

I could not even finish reading this blabbering, pal. You are in a dysfunctional relationship by your own admission. Why in the world do you want to live like this??? So, you are stubborn.....well, then.....you will get what you deserve. People like you never take advice because you are always "right". So, continue to do what you are doing......just stop whining about it.