I would like to know why police don't help when you need them. I have a 16 yr old son with anger problems,

Question

I have taken him to so many counsling from then to now, and nothing has worked... He talks to me very disrespectfully all the time has two little sisters that he aggrivates, and when he gets physical, or verbal and totally out of hand we call the police, they come out to advise bust his rear end,,, well one evening he provoked his dad, and he and dad got into it,,, and my son ended up with a black eye,,,, the school contacted CPS<<< and now I have to deal with them for something the police has told us to do... my husband didnt mean to blacken his eye,, he was actually elbowed,,, but he failed to tell the school this.. what action should we take... and please know within the year police has been called 15 times and all has gave him the talk we give him, and tells us to beat his butt,,,,

Answer 1

That's not a police problem!
It's a parent problem!
When he violates the laws then it will be a police problem and travel through the courts system.
Maybe being locked up a weeks or months will get his attention!

Answer 2

In some states, the law allows parents to turn problem children over to juvenile detention centers or military schools. The police can't really help you because it's a domestic matter, so unless he's being physically or sexually abusive to the other children there's nothing they can do. It sounds like he has a serious problem with respect and authority, so I would recommend military school if you can find one that will take him. If that doesn't work, wait until the next time your husband and your son get into it (and believe me, they will) and file a formal complaint with the police for assault and battery. Next stop, juvenile hall.

Answer 3

Yeah a lot of cops would say bust their butts... My hubby is a cop. Next time he is physically harming his sister tell the cops you want to press charges, they can take him to a juvenile detention center, well hopefully, and get him some help that way! My hubby is a cop umm... he's taken kids to juvenile detention for being physically abusive to their younger siblings, I am not sure what else to tell ya! maybe seek some sort of treatment where they will keep him in a hospital for a while, well I hope things get better! Sounds like he may need some sort of anger management classes, my bro. had to do that and his attitude changed after he did that! It's worth a shot!
well good luck
have a good night!

Answer 4

Spanking him and a punch to the eye are two different things, one is considered abusive, the former isn't. With that being said, you may check to see if your county or area has a Juvenille Boot Camp or a Scared Strait Program. You could simply ask the local Adult Detention Center to show him around and get inmates to scare him a little. As far as Police not helping, we are limited by what the law says we can do, if he assaulted someone, he needs to go to the Juvenile Detention Center, if he is just verbally abusive, I would say the same thing, Spank his BUTT.

Answer 5

Lock him up I did that to my son brought him to court & asked the court to help me & he was in there 10 months now he's a better person & doesn't say or do any of the things he did and believe me the police were here alot now to.At the moment he talks at schools & tells kids what it's like to be locked up we had the chance for week end vists & for him 2 come home a few hours on week-ends but we refused I guess that made him appreciate us more it was tough but we did it.Good Luck

Answer 6

This is not a police issue, but you see that they did respond to your call for help. You child fails to respect authority. At 16 you can't legally kick him out because you are still responsible for him. You can seek counseling and I would strongly suggest boot camp or some type of camp that will teach him respect of others. Legally you can use any force against your children (except deadly force), that is why the police told you to "beat his butt". Most out of control children lack discipline and that is what the police are going by. I don't know what type of discipline you used on your son prior to this point, but I am going to bet it was not much. Your son has no respect or fear of any consequences for his actions. Children to some degree need to fear their parents and the consequences of their actions.

Answer 7

Now that CPS is involved you can show them the records of the police calls and the counseling. They can help you out more than you know. If CPS thought you or your husband was a threat, they would have taken the 2 girls out of the house. Be very careful what you say to them I hope you have a good attorney. In order for the police to arrest your son is for you to file charges on your son. I really hated to tell you that. I know in Houston in junivile court you can tell your attorney that bail not be an option and they will hold him their until his court date. I have been in your shoes and its hard. I couldn't save my son, he joined a gang and now he sits in prision for 35 years for Burglary. He is now 30 and regrets what happened.
I am wondering if your son is on drugs. His mood swings, violent behavior. I Know the signs! I've been there! Be careful! I will pray for you and your family.

Answer 8

Yeah, i think a reform school is the only way to go. its unfortunate, but the situation is clearly out of control and the police is not the solution. They arent there to take care of family problems like that. The kid needs professional help and attention and fast. Otherwise you know as well as i do where he will end up and that is PRISON.

Answer 9

When my daughter got real bad around 16, I had no choice but to put her in a home for children with problems. She was there for a few months and I took her back. Slowly she got better. But our situations sound a bit different. Your son sounds so much worse. Consider putting him in a military school or a place that handles children like that. Just until he grows up a little.

Answer 10

There are a couple of things I would suggest. Sounds like you are dealing with life-course adolescence-limited criminal behavior. The best description I have seen for this is from Bloch and Niederhoffer's 1958 work on the subject.

"It is almost as if the contemporary young person, in the absence of puberty rituals and ordeals, is moved to exclaim: if you don't care to test us, then we will test ourselves!" (p.28)

Beating his "butt" is not going to work. Actually that feeds into his negative reinforcement, and the test of his will as a person against yours. I don't know what your financial capability is, but there are a couple of avenues you might try. One is getting him into a Dojo and begin the discipline of Martial Arts Training. The other is "Outward Bound." I have posted herein a few links for you.

To be honest, at 16, I think the "Outward Bound" experience would be best to "shock" him into reality, and then follow up with the Dojo so he can vent in a controlled environment.

Hope this helps.