Wat do u do if ur son wont get a job hes not had 1 since he was ill a couple years ago, he had burst pendix?

Question

he was very ill but know he just sit around doing nothin and at night he just hang out with his mates,Im a single mum and work hard but cant afford to keep him, Im gettting into a real muddle with money because of him,i have not got the heart to kick him out but it depressing me i feel like i should just leave but i have a daughter who has just started college and dont wont to do this to her,

Answer 1

you have to stand firm get a job or move out

Answer 2

sounds like to me you have spoiled him. he needs to get out and do something with his life. the daughter in college is so what is his excuse. its you. ur doing the same stuff my mom did with me and my older brother. Guess who suffered the hardest in life, he did. stop it and and be mom.put your foot down right now. what would he do if something was to happen to you. he would **** in his pants because now the boy has no idea. it hard but unless you put the pedal to the metal and cut him off soon, you'll be misserable for the rest of your life. Honey you don't shield a man. you are going to make him too dependable of women because you are coventing him way too much. he will never have a real relationship let alone be able to hold a job. face the facts it is time to take baby boy off your breast. you won't survive carring his *** around. i don't see how u r doing it now. i couldn't see how my mother did it. it was killing her inside. i'd watch her cry plenty of nights about my brother doing exactly what your son is doing"living off the fat of the land". he had every reason not to work as every reason to get fired or loose a job and his mates were all dumb asses that just knew that they were the cats meow. trust and believe this will not get any better. it will get even worse. my mother was ready along with the rest of the family to pull her hair out. end this now. make a man out of him. kick him out if he is old enough. and if not, cut him off from fun things and stuff. i wouldn't abonded the daughter. you will be dead wrong if you do. that is not fair too her even though she should be fine.
he needs a hard lesson in life101 "money doesn't grow on trees"
. and yes i am a mother of 3
good luck

Answer 3

Do you know what "enabling" means? You are making it easy for him to sit around and do nothing while you support him. You are not doing him any favors. He won't change as long as you allow him to behave like this. Give him a time limit, perhaps a month or less, to find a job and get out. If he is still sponging off you, put his stuff out and change the locks. He has to grow up and be responsible, Mum. Give him a hard push out of the nest.

Answer 4

If he is able to work, then he needs to get a job.
Try to find out about suitable jobs for him if he wont do it himself. Give him a reasonable deadline to get a job and make it clear that if he doesnt have a job in this time then you will kick him out and explain the reasons why.
Meanwhile, make sure he earns his keep helping you out around the house. If he wont do this then stop doing his washing or cooking his meals and he will soon have to learn to fend for himself.
Alternatively you could move out along with your daughter and leave him to get on with things.

Answer 5

He needs help from a healthcare professional.

At the very least he should be contributing to the upkeep of the house - I'm assuming that he's on unemployment benefit? Does he help with the washing? Cooking? Cleaning? No reason why not.

Lay down some rules in the house that required his direct involvement.

Answer 6

If he is healthy now and able to work then I am sorry but you have to go the "Tough Love" route I think.

Tell him to shape up, get him helping you around the place and ask him to try to find a job, even a part time one, expect him to help you with the bills in any way he can. Otherwise his life will just continue in this rut and it will only get worse.

Its the best thing for you and for him.

Answer 7

Quit paying his bills dear and make him earn his keep.
My 11 year old son tried to pull the (I don't want to go to school) routine, even trying to refuse. SO..this is what I did. IF he stayed at home, he was going to help me with the house cleaning that I do when he's away at school. And he hates helping.

What you do is make your son suddenly not enjoy being at home. Take away his "fun" so to speak. He's using you, plain and simple. Talk to him. Tell him that if he's going to stay with you, he's got to get off his butt and help with food and utilities. Plain and simple. Stick to your words too, don't back down. He's discovered that staying home is more fun than going to work, you can't let him do this to you or he will take over.

Answer 8

He'll scam that appendix excuse for the rest of his life. That was a temporary condition. He's back to normal now. I bet you keep falling for his sad sob stories. He's got a good thing going, mooching off you. Why would he leave?

Answer 9

my eldest son is the same, he has not worked for four years, he is now 28, fortunately he lives with his mother not me. We gave up in the end, even the fact he has now fathered a child has not motivated him to be responsible.
He was mentally ill 4 years ago, but is now fine, but he has not worked for too long.
I am sorry but I think you will not win

Answer 10

A burst appendix a few years ago wont preventing him working now...tell him staright either he brings some money in or you stop feeding him & washing his clothes etc..AND DO IT!!!!

Answer 11

tell him to get a job or you'll bust his head.
stop letting his friends in the house, tell them he's not allowed visitors until he's well enough to work, the embarrasment should do it.
if that fails bag up his stuff and put it out the front.