my 16 yr old son seems to be pushing my way, Is it because am doing some thing wrong, or is it because he thinks he can be on he's own, I guess i just don't understand, he's really hurting me. He is my oldest son is maybe that the reason? he knows I love him dearly and we talk but some thing is going on with him PLEASE HELP am loseing y son
2006-09-06 02:44:54 · 16 answers · asked by raven s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the son is spreading his wings, preparing to fly by himself. give him room to spread. tell him u love him so u are letting go to certain extent. tell him u will always be there to support those early flying stages. tell him u trust him to the extent he shows consideration & acceptance of responsibilty when thing goes wrong (caused by him). free to make choices but not free from the consequences of his choice. he needs to know you are there with a life-raft no matter how much deep water he is in.
2006-09-06 03:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 15 year old boy; and I just think he is becoming an Adult and trying to find his way (coming into his own), he still needs ur guidance but u (as hard as it will be) need to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. He is not intentionally hurting u but needs some space just like everyone he is no exception to this just leave the lines of communication open and when he wants ur viewpoint or opinion he will ask then give it to him. Good luck and don't feel bad soon he will be living on his own (or at college)away from the "nest" and I'm sure will call u everyday just don't push him now.
2006-09-06 02:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by wolfpack0810 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know if you are Mum or Dad but the only thing i can suggest is go back to feeling like your 16, have a heart to heart which means both of you being very open. Ask him if he is being bullied at school or pressurised by friends to do something that he does not want to do. If he has younger siblings perhaps he feels like the man of the house, but you will have to put things in to perspective with regard to the fact that he is still a very "young" man. Sometimes we hit out at the people we love most, but there is usually a reason. Try to find out what the reason is. Be patient,think about everything you say and don't go with the impulse to strangle him every time he turns on you. I bought up my daughter after her father took his own life and I think to this day she blames me, we have had our bad times (and still do) but on the whole I think I have managed to maintain a healthy balance of love, affection and stability because I have always had guidelines for her. Good Luck
2006-09-07 06:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by PHILIP C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's acting exactly like he is 16 year-old. So that is absolutely normal. And you should not think about you are losing your son. You should give him more space and more time to deal with his problems. Always be with him but not close enough to annoy him. He will understand you when the time comes.
2006-09-06 02:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by blackeagle81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think all teenagers around 16 go through this. They don't think their parents understand anything, and they're too embarrassed to try explaining their thoughts and feelings to their parents. If you try pulling him back to you too hard, it will just create more problems.
Be understanding, try to remain calm with him even if he's trying to push your buttons, or is trying to push you away. Be sure to reiterate that you love him and will support him, and that you're around if he ever feels confused or lonely. Assure him you're his friend, not his enemy. Also, be sure to talk to him about drugs and peer pressure every few months or so. He'll hate it, but parents need to do this. It proves to their children that they're loved.
I wish you the best!
2006-09-06 02:51:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a teenager!! Give him some space..keep communication open and let him know that you care and if there's anything that he needs to or wants to talk to you about then you'll always be there for him. It's a critical age for independence...he loves you but is growing up into a man and is trying to find himself...give it time. Your not loosing him....he's going through imense hormonal surges and is confused himself but at that age prefers to talk with peers and not 'mom'....dont loose faith...all will be fine.
2006-09-06 02:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always tell him and show him you love him. That is a tough age. Give him room but not to much to where you don't know what he is doing or getting into. Spend time with him. Do the things he enjoys with him. Good luck.
2006-09-06 02:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by gel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he most likely feels like you are giving him too much support, he is at the age when he feels like he should be considered a man (that doesnt mean he is ready) so give him space and if you need to provide him strength do it in a behind the scenes way.... he will eventually look back on this time as a learning experience, not as a time when he lost his mother
2006-09-06 02:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by Mets00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent of 2 daughters and 3 step sons...I will tell you it is quite normal..he is finding himself...new friends and girls...He is learning to be his own person, learning where he stands in society.
2006-09-06 02:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be normal..as they grow up, they grow away.....
Just keep the lines of communications open and let him know thatyou are always willing to listen, and talk if hewants....but he still has to follow rules in the house....
It hurts, seeing our children grow up. It nearly killed me seeing my oldest leave home at 18. But she's doing well.
2006-09-06 02:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by Lynne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋