my mum never knew my dad. he was one of those ships that passed in the night like. i have curly hair and brown skin so i can take a guess. I thought about having that genetic test thing done so i could find out which part of the world he came from. do u think i should or just leave it it might just stir up more hurt?
2006-09-05 23:34:12 · 24 answers · asked by rosyreal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Give it a try. If for no other reason, it can be a learning experience.
2006-09-05 23:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot say that I have experienced this sort of thing, so my answer is based on what I would do in your situation.
Is it really that important to you to find out about your "heritage"? Will it really change the person you are now, or the person you are striving to become? If it might hurt your mother, is it really worth finding out about now? Are you REALLY PREPARED to know the truth? Are you prepared to be rejected if you find out who this man is???
Ever heard the old saying "Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a DAD." If he hasnt been there all your life, are you sure you really want to find out about him now, and take the chance of hurting your mom, or maybe even your grandparents etc..??? I dont know what sort of relationship you have with your mother, but even if you have a "bad" relationship with her, this could possibly cause enough pain so that you may never be able to repair it... If you have a good relationship with her, this could hurt it.... Or it may not affect it at all.... Have you spoken to her about it??? Have you expressed your concerns to her??
Try honestly answering those questions, if you can answer them and you feel as though you NEED to know, then you have your answer. If you only WANT to know, maybe you should think about waiting a while. Only you know why this is "bothering" you enough to ask advice...
You are beautiful and wonderful just the way you are, does it really matter where you come from?????
2006-09-06 02:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well rosyreal
it only takes a sperm donor to produce a child but it takes a man to raise one ask yourself if it is worth the hurt that you will produce if and when you decide to look into this matter .Its very expensive and time consuming to do something like this .Talk to your mother and or father if she ever got married .The answers begin with her I"m sure she knows more than you think but maybe she doesn't get into it because its to painful.If you are a happy well adjusted young lady then maybe the decision to leave it will be an answer for you . Good luck to you in whatever decision you make but be sure to make them for the right reason and beware you never know what can of worms you may be opening .Although some people think bad things you follow your heart and you will end up doing what is right for you.
2006-09-05 23:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your mom good to you? Do you really need to know anything about your fathers genetics? I can understand that you probably feel a bit curious, but how does your mom feel? Does she know anything at all that she can tell you? And truthfully, where ever you were born, that is what part of the world you are from. It is like in America, sometimes people will ask, where are you from? Well, I am an American.
Good luck. I hope you can come to terms with your dilemma.
2006-09-06 00:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by tweetymay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi rosyreal. What a deep question. I guess one way to answer would be to ask, if you found out that your father was Spanish or French or Argentinian: how deeply would that affect the nature and quality of your own life? If the goal worth the quest? As for me, I am a little like you, a little flower adrift on a big sea. I am not sure about my background completely, but rather than look back, I look ahead. I am a romantic citizen of the world! A woman of mystery, and I kind of like that. :)
2006-09-05 23:39:14 · answer #5 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how finding your herritage would stir up pain, it's not like you're actually looking for the guy.
Usually people become depressed because they DON'T know where they came from, so i think anything that helps you piece together a part of your identity can only benefit you.
2006-09-05 23:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont' know if women are able to trace their father's side through genetic testing. I think you need a male from his side for that.
However, if it is possible, I don't see why you couldn't do it. It may help heal some of your questions about yourself. Unless, you have a repulsion against a certain ethnic group or race and are afraid you genetically tied to that group.
2006-09-05 23:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Rosy,
I can understand how it feels...to NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE...
But I would also like to add that its just 1 aspect of life.. You DO know what is within you- what you stand up for, what you ilke and hate. So it doesnt really matter...
Lets say you find out you are part Asian or black..GOOD- but NOW WHAT?
You ll still have to SORT out LIFE and LIVE it on your own...
remember- Its not WHERE you CAME from that's important but WHERE YOU ARE GOING!!!
Cheers
2006-09-05 23:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by Vinny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes knowing the truth is not the best alternative. however, if you are prepared to see whatever comes in future, no matter good or bad, then i'll advice u to find about yourself. Do this only when you are prepared. Not do it when your curiosity overcome you. As the saying goes, curiosity kills the cat.
2006-09-05 23:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by dada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's totally up to you. Do you think if you don't do it, you will think about it until you do it?? You either have to find out, or let it go. Otherwise, it will eat you up. If you really want to know, there is nothing wrong with that. You have to make that decision for yourself. Nobody else can. Good luck.
2006-09-06 00:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by bostonchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is ABSOLUTELY no need to dig it now.. It must have been a bitter past for your mother and more you will try to find it out more your mother may get hurt and eventually you too..
Enjoy your present and focus on preparing your future..Keep smiling..
ALL THE BEST
2006-09-05 23:37:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋