suddenly started hostile towards you and decided to move to another country and not keep in touch.. would u chase her down?? this is hypothetically speaking im just wondering what peoples reactions are.. thanks...
2006-09-05 23:12:20 · 35 answers · asked by lazydazy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
what if u were scared she wasnt well or something...
2006-09-05 23:16:33 · update #1
In the words of Sting "If you love somebody ..set them free".
Let her know that you are there for her if she changes her mind. Send her letters occasionally so that she knows that there's a life still going on back home (unless she tells you not to).
Let her know that you are sorry if it was something you did.
About five years ago my son (now 27) went through a two-year period of being really angry. Some of it was stuff I did for good reasons that he misunderstood. Some of it was my mistakes. Some of it was just him needing to be angry. I followed the strategy above and it worked. We are now fine and he is having a good life.
But you really need to be willing to let go. For real. Without expectation. Don't put her under an obligation. She doesn't owe you anything - whatever you went through, whatever it cost. When children say "I didn't ask to be born" they mean it.
I "fired" myself as a parent and offered myself as a friend. I let go of being responsible for his life. He's an adult now. I can care and help like any other special friend, but it's his life.
Set her free
2006-09-06 03:55:33 · answer #1 · answered by jon2901 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not too sure what you are getting at but a son/daughter suddenly getting hostile with a parent for no apparant reason is almost certainly experimenting with serious drugs and/or in with the wrong crowd
2006-09-06 01:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by Lone Wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As A father I would track her down. Get her alone and ask her what I had done to make her feel that way. 'I would suspect there was an outside influence to her behaivour' . I would then see if she was still willing to behave in such a manner. If it was clear to me that she is then I would let her be, But only after I had made it clear that if she ever needed me I would be there for her. If i suspected that she wasnt herself I would then consider other options. It would seem strange for some one to want to leave their friends and family behind and go and live in another country. I would want to the reasons behind that.
2006-09-05 23:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by wandera1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice ould be too stay positive and support her. i moved to another country in january after years of arguments and generally not getting along with my mother. as a result our relationship is better than ever we speak on the phone every day and email each other at weekends she comes to see me every few months and vice versa. i didnt leave on very good circumstances with my mother but absence does make the heart grow fonder. she has now realised that im a grown up adult and have my own life to live. if you do show hostility when speaking to each other she will pick up on it so my advice would be to stay civil and accept it.
2006-09-06 03:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by RACH 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience I would let your daughter come back when she is ready and she will come back. I had my own reasons for going off but the more my parents chased me the more I ran, as soon as they left me and I took my time out I returned home.
2006-09-05 23:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mizzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends how old she is. also a realistic check on our relationship would be in order. thinking of someone i saw on news....who seems happy where she is now.
i am a daughter and have moved far from home, but i am an adult and my family back home had to accept that it was my decision. we are still in contact often.
until my children are adults ,i will do all i can to keep them with me or at least be in the same country.
2006-09-05 23:21:14 · answer #6 · answered by saywot? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids tend to do the opposite to what their parents want so try some reverse psychology. If she, hypothetically, wants to leave then try to help. She will need somewhere to stay some form of income etc. If she thinks you are quite prepared to let her go willingly she will probably want to stay.
Good luck
2006-09-05 23:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends entirely on her age. The question is too hypothetical and too unspecific in detail to give a serious and sensible answer. Sorry.
2006-09-05 23:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Barry G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont chase her just do enough like email or text her just to see that she is ok and dont worry she will be back. kids go trhough that rebelious stage especially girls and they know mum is the most important person on earth but dont want to admit it, she will realise, just give a bit of space and see how it goes but mark my words she will be back for that big bear hug when she needs advise or a shoulder to cry on. all the best
2006-09-05 23:21:31 · answer #9 · answered by malaika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow .. thats quite a hypothesis!
In my case I would go after her to find out what the problem was. I couldnt live with myself thinking it was something I had done and would have to know she was safe otherwise I would spend the rest of my days worrying for her.
2006-09-05 23:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by enzuigiriuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋