I am a 23yr old Single mother(father passed away 1yr ago)with a 21mth old son. Living with my parents, who help out alot. but they have taken over my son. I can't tell my son anything without some1 on me, they take him when they leave without telling me. They make weekend plans behind my back and take him with them. They keep telling me everyday to give them rights, telling me that they r moving and they are taking my son. I can't move anywhere right now because I don't have a job. Im so helpless and confused. can someone please tell me something.....I tell my parents they cant take my son and they say okay but when it comes to that day they will anyway.My aunt is anoying, she will come over and pick him up(even after I told her not to cause im taking him somewhere)when Im n the bathroom, she'll just take off.When I did move out(I took my son)I had my family calling me every 1hr checking on my son. I am not a bad mother I dont do anything I shouldnt. I just want my family to back up.
2006-09-05 18:39:22 · 14 answers · asked by CandyRain375 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Next time they take your son call the police and have them charged with kidnapping. If they do not have YOUR permission to take the child that is EXACTLY what they are doing.
2006-09-05 18:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
You start off with, telling me you are a single mom living at home being totally supported by your parents, no job and the baby's father died a year ago. How are you handling the grieving process? You say every adult in your life is accepting the responsibility of raising your son, Why? what would give them reason to think that you can't parent. Asking you to surrender your parental rights, sounds extreme and constantly protecting him from you, suggests that you have a serious personal problem or maybe an addiction that you are not addressing here. You said that you're unable to work, feeling helpless and confused.....maybe you are depressed and overwhelmed by single parenthood for a 21 month old is demanding, while grieving a loss. Maybe I am competely wrong and you are telling the whole truth, your family is very controling and overbearing....but you grew up in that environment, why would you allow your son to be subjected to that hell???? Like the others said get a job and move out of there. Prove them and me wrong.
2006-09-05 19:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by Outside the box 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've been through an awful lot. If you're starting to feel like you can do it, maybe it's time to get another job and see about moving out again. Your folks sound like they mean well, but they have some boundary issues. Or perhaps they've just been used to picking up the slack while you went through the grieving process and they don't realize that it's time to back off. Or that backing off is a good idea.
But back off is exactly what they're going to have to do. It may take you some time to get them to do that. As far as the phone issue goes, when you move out, screen your calls. Start ratcheting down the frequency they can get ahold of you - go from once an hour to once every couple of hours to once a day, then once every couple of days. Again, it may take them some time to get used to it, but if you're consistent and persistent they will. Lie if you have to.
If all else fails, you can always try moving to another town.
Best of luck!
2006-09-05 19:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I know just how you feel! I live with my parents of course because im 17 and not even God himself could make me and my babies father work out. I have a 3 year old son and I only see him on the weekends. Well, everytime he comes over they tell me when to do this when to do that and then when I want to leave to go somewhere I have to call and make sure its okay and then they tell me when to have MY SON home. Like the other night My step-mother told me to be home with my son at 11pm I came home at 1am of course the baby fell asleep at 12 cause he was playing with his new friend all day. I get home and right when I get in the door my father starts fussing at me and then I lay the baby down go to bed, Then when I get up in the morning the babies not there and im freaking out, Well come to find out my step-mom brought him back to his fathers because I didnt bring him home when she wanted me to, I wish my fam would back off too.
First if you have custody, you have every right to do what you want with your child. I would suggest finding a father figure and settling down and then hurry to get a job, cause if they do turn around and try to take you to court, for custody, the judge would most likely see them in favor, cause of you not having a job. But im not sure its different in all states, goverment sucks.. If you have custody and they take your child without permission isnt that consider KIDNAPPING? of course i dont know if you would want to do that to your parents, oh and i take the baby with me when i go potty... I keep an eye on him 24/7 hes a little terror... I'm not sure what to tell you except put your foot down draw the line and tell them how it is, loose your temper on them show them you are serious, just dont hit no one or throw anything.... or scare the baby...
2006-09-05 18:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah T 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
#1. You need to get a job and get back on your feet. Save some money so you can move out. Go back to school so you can get a better job. You can get public assistance to help pay for school. You can also get public assistance to help you find a place to live, and help pay for daycare. A lot of states do not have Grandparent's rights, so if they are disregarding you when it comes to your son just tell them that unless they are willing to defer to you when it comes to raising YOUR son they will not be able to see him. Stand up to them. If they want to see him they will back down. The person below is an idiot. He does NOT need your parents in his life if they are not going to follow your wishes. It is one thing to help you out, but another totally different thing if they are treating you like they own you and your son. They are treating you both like you are their property! That is not a healthy enviroment for him to grow up in.
2006-09-05 18:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need some legal counseling. You can ask at women's shelters for information on what to do in this situation. I think you should try to move out again, and don't let them have your phone number! He's your child and somehow you've given them permission, verbal or otherwise, to raise your child for you. You are the mom and you need to exercise your rights.
2006-09-05 18:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by CAFEhonor 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pack a bag.
Find a shelter.
They will help you set up your independent life.
YOU are that childs mother. YOU must protect him. YOU have custody.
Every parent is confused and makes mistakes, but they don't deserve to lose their child because of it. If you don't like what's going on: be a woman and change your life.
You and your son are 'your family'.
2006-09-05 19:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by lucy_shy8000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything you can do as long as you are living there. They sound like a very controlling bunch. Are you getting social security since your sons father passed away? That should help with finances.... Do you have anyone you can live with that isnt controlling?
2006-09-05 18:43:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find a job and move out. You can get help with childcare, an apartment, and anything else you need. You need to get out of there and take a stand.
2006-09-05 18:43:53 · answer #9 · answered by ariannaandtjsmom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They don't have any legal rights to your son, but you are in a difficult spot. You need to get a job and move out ASAP.
2006-09-05 18:48:48 · answer #10 · answered by picopico 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋