I just started dating a Police Officer and all my friends tell me that Policeman are the worst husbands and boyfriends and that I should get out while I can. I have been told that a lot of Policemen are abusive and violent. I really like this guy and he seems too good to be true because he is so nice, but now I am scared that he might turn out to be abusive. Any woman with experience dating or marrying police officers, let me know what you think. Be honest please, I already had one bad relationship, I don't need another one.
2006-09-05 18:30:17 · 14 answers · asked by nesmith52 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now hold on a minute - don't judge everyone based on a few bad apples. I can relate to this on a personal level because #1 I am a cop part-time and #2 my very best friend is the world is an officer.
He is (in my humble biased opinion) a dream come true to any good woman who wants the best a man can offer.
Policing is very stressful by it's nature - dangerous, strange hours, lots of negative things placed upon you.
I think it's true that many of them don't know how to handle the stress and negative sides of the job. It can often become a "me vs. you" atmosphere because they feel nobody really understands what they go through or how they deal with the dark side of society.
If you are going to date a cop; you have to be a special type of person. You should try to learn as much about their job as you can. Ask him to talk about things that happen at work. Let him know you are there for him. Don't let him close up around you or distance himself.
Likewise, cops are special types of people. They try to make a difference and help others. Unfortunetly, they don't get half of the pay, respect, or good encounters they deserve. And then whenever some bad cops go off the deep end, all of them hurt and take the rap for it.
I'm NOT saying cops are saints because there are certainly some bad ones. But if this guy seems to be good for you and things are clicking... go for it, hon!!
Are cops maybe a little more challenging than a regular boyfriend?? Yeah maybe, but ya know what, the rewards can be more than worth it. They can have a sense of duty and dedication you won't find anywhere else. Plus hey, it's a man in uniform!!
Don't let others decide what's right for you heart. Only you can do that. If it feels right, then go with it and best of luck, hon.
2006-09-05 18:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by Lady_Knight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married to one for 15 years now. The thing is, they need to be allowed a way to relieve stress. My husband chooses PlayStation, which drives me nuts, but it could be drinking. And he only plays at the end of the day. He has never touched me in a violent way. He never would.
FYI- A guy that gets violent, they will get violent whether they are a police officer or a floral arranger.
That is about who they are not what they do.
Good Luck!
2006-09-05 18:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by designsbyniki 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you decide for yourself? Yes, some cops are abusive but, so are some other men. Also, I think cops are tempted to cheat. I have known several who did but, I also know a devoted husband and father who is a cop. Actually, I know 2. So, if you reallly like this guy, give him a chance. Also, talk to him about these things. Ask him for his serious opinion.
2006-09-05 18:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I started an long distance, on-line relationship with a police officer a year ago. He was devorced and I was in a relationship. We fell in love and talked about me going to be with him and getting married. But when it came time for me to move and be with him he became cold and stop talking to me. It broke my heart because I'm still in love with him but now I don't know if his feelings were true. And I've been told the same thing you were told and I'm starting to believe they are disturbed. But I'll never know unless I was with him.
2006-09-05 18:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by sweetcaliluvr 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get out police have a really tough job and are prone to take it out on there mate plus the suciude rate for police are 3 times the norm. Just my 2 cents
2006-09-05 18:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many people who become police officers choose that career path precisely because they have abusive personalities.
However, there are always cops, and there are cops.
What is HE like? Don't give him up ONLY because his job sucks.
2006-09-05 18:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by A Box of Signs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I worked with many and they are all different, most are nice it depends on you guy....If he is nice, give it time the evilness will come out if hes a bad guy...Hey and Fireman are the same way LOL
2006-09-05 18:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've never dated one but i used to have a friend who dated one. he didn't abuse her but he played around alot. he played around so much that she even knew and everyone was telling her he was going out with other girls and so on. even her own sister was telling her the same thing since the sister was a police officer herself. he also told her alot of stuff but he never came through. he even forgot to wish her happy birthday and so on. i thought he was a total loser, if u want my opinion. i wouldn't want a man like that.
2006-09-05 18:36:11 · answer #8 · answered by Christy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I dated a police officer for eight years.
He was a big teddy bear and never raised his hands to me.
However, he was a DOG!!!
2006-09-05 18:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by tina m 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just give him a chance. I mean what if he turns out to be the love of you life?
2006-09-05 18:33:44 · answer #10 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋