why do some christian ppl think they can gossip about others and still call themselves christians?

Question

My daughter was in a relationship with her best friend's brother's best friend, and it got back to us that her best friend's dad, who is a minister's assistant, had called my daughter a whore. And my daughter is a virgin, and refused to " put out" to her b'f. She is hurt by it and broke it off with the guy, long ago,only to find out that her best friend was spreading rumors. These ppl are very religious and are well known in the community and call themselves christians still. They aren't rich but are better off than us,and are white. My daughter is mixed... Native American/mexican/Irish,and it hurt her. They also look down on ppl that aren't rich or white. What to do?

Answer 1

Honey, I am sorry that you have to go through that stuff. This is why I am not religious or "Christian". (I am very Spiritual) My joke to my religious friends is: I am not judgmental enough to be a part of your "group." It seems to be more the norm now days to knock people down. I feel that this comes from "ego" for most people. Ego is an ugly thing, It seems that there are several religious people who feel that once they are "saved" feel that they are better than others. I do not understand why this is. But...I have a news flash, we were all created by the same God. No one is better or less of a person than the next.
I hope that your daughter and yourself know that you are good people, and it is the problem of these other people. So hold your head up high and know in your heart of hearts that God loves you and your daughter very much.
God bless you both

Answer 2

Then they are not Christians! They are hypocrites. This happens alot in church. This gives other Christians a bad name. Gossipping is a sin according to a bible scripture which I can't remember. But definitely these people are not Christians.

Since they've caused you and especially your daughter pain and false accusations you should probably report these so called Christians to a Church leader and get some council ling. I think there are some honest Christian associations on the Internet as well for support.

These people are nothing but "bullies". It's probably a good idea your daughter not have anything to do with these people since this has caused you alot of hurt.

All the best! Oh, I forgot to mention that you can pray to God about this problem.

Answer 3

Remove the word Christian. or maybe some Christian teachings have so many dos and donts that others may find worth talking about. But actually it is not only Christains who does that, just so happened they are mostly in that groupings.Maybe you just happened to be around them. Look in other places and you will find the same gossipers. It is human nature specially on places where strict rules on how to live in an environment where an ideal society is expected. So much also in a society where there is some kind of punishment on the misdeeds taken. Do you not find it quite interesting to talk about someones dirt in the eyes instead of yours? Sorry that your daughter fell in love with people who are judgmental. They may be Christians but sadly not the good ones.

Answer 4

Hi Erica,

First let me say that it's an absolutely terrible thing that happened to your daughter. i'm not sure why her best friend was spreading rumors but what i can say is that it was not a very Christian way to act- and from the different responses you've seen to your question- people who claim to know Christ and act in an un-Christ like manner in the end bring shame to Christ. People are slamming Christ on this question- not because of who Christ is- but because people have failed to act in a Christ-like manner.

One thing i would like to say about Christianity is that it is a life long journey. People have ups and downs and people learn from mistakes. In the case of the minister's asst. for example it really hurt his credability - and hopefully he'll really learn to be a lot more gracious and unhurtful.

What to do- i think is to first deal with them personally. Please understand that they don't represent all Christians. Personally as a Christian- i'm quite offended by their actions. I can't quite understand it like you- but i do understand that no one is perfect- and a true Christian will be quick to make peace and to admit when they are wrong, instead of continuing to justify their own wrong-doings.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you and your daughter- and i do hope that this man and his daughter give you the apology that you are due...

Kindly,

Nickster

Answer 5

Stop association with these people. A policeman told me one time that although I did nothing wrong in a situation I was guilty of association. Test people before you commit to them. I'm 50 years old and still make the same mistakes sometimes, accepting people by opening up to them to fast, and then get hurt in the end because they were not able to protect my interests in the relationship.
You're not gossiping are you?
If you are a Christian, show them what a real Christian is all about!

Answer 6

Just because someone claims to be a Christian doesn't mean that he or she is really. Just because someone is really a Christian doesn't mean that he or she is perfect and will never do anything wrong again or that he or she will always behave and speak appropriately.

The best way to deal with sins against you in the church is to address them directly. First you get together with the person who has sinned against you and confront that person lovingly and privately. If that person does not respond by admitting sin and agreeing to change, then you bring in witnesses to mediate between you and the other person. This is the Biblical pattern for dealing with sin in the church.

Answer 7

This is not a Christian thing but people who hide behind religion to justify their self-righteousness.Do not blame the Christian community for the behavior of those who think that their ticket to heaven is sealed. All religions have ppl with in their community that will go against the very creed of their belief.

Answer 8

I think it has to do with being human... seems no matter what the religion gossip and rumors will always catch the attention of our curiosity seeking race.

You sound like a nice family with strong values. Keep it up and ignore the nasties.

Answer 9

they are NOT truly religious then. many Christians struggle with doing and saying whats right all the time, no one is perfect. but insulting a young girl is just rude. tell your daughter to keep her head up, be proud of her virginity, its quite an accomplishment these days. insults from hypocrites should only make her a stronger woman. as for the rude minister, remind him that God himself is our ONLY judge and he should be ashamed.

Answer 10

After Mike's responce I felt as if I had to comment.
It shocks me everytime I hear a self-proclaimed Christian speak of forgivness and that believers aren't perfect and that Christians aren't perfect just forgiven (my favorite Babtist bumper sticker - because I see it in every Babtist bookstore I've ever walked into). People need to realize that God has purposely left the Bible open to interpretation. The bible is also not a tell-all of Christianity. There are many parts of salvation that are left unexplained, just as there are many parts of Revelations that are left open to obviousley provoke futher thought. God spoke through various prophets throughout the history of the bible, but there are many questions left unanswered and theologians discuss these lost varibles daily in seminary classes around the world.
So, my question to you, as a fellow Christian, How can you say to yourself: "Well, I've accepted Christ as my Savior, therefor I'm saved!" I can't say and nor can, who ever heads up your Church, but what happens once we arrive into Heaven's sanctuary. I think about it everyday.
Sure it (the Bible) says that we cannot be saved by our acts. But ask yourself these questions, "Why was Moses' trip to Mt Sinai to be given the Ten Commandments so prevelant in our Christian teachings?" "Why is it mentioned multiple times (in the bible) that we should walk as Jesus walked,(reference -without sin)?"
I've sacrificed many of a good/fun time growing up by trying to make righteous decisions rather than taking the obviously more fun and sinful path. Becuse of this, I know God has rewarded me with a wonderful family, true friends, etc., etc..
You can believe that these rewards of good acts are limited to this Earth, but for me I find that very hard to swallow. You go ahead and leave it as, oh well I'm saved, so I'm going to go shoot up some Heroine and then go check out some child porn. Bad stuff. yeah sure. . . . but remember God forgives his children that sin, so it's all okay. Just a thought, I wonder if Heaven has a first class area? Hope you enjoy your stay in Coach . . . . for eternity. But, than again it's heaven after all, right?
Maybe a little ridiculous here and there. maybe? Just consider it thought provoking food.