my ex and i were together for a year and a half and he was cheating on me with another girl who he says he met before me. He still says he loves me and i love him i just don't trust him. he says his relationship with her is about comfort and with me it's love. so when do you forgive and should you forgive something like this?
2006-09-05 17:43:02 · 12 answers · asked by taffy c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has no right to ask or expect you to forgive him or ever trust him again. It was his descision to break the trust you had for him. I honestly question rather or not he loved you at the time he cheated. I cannot believe that people can truely love someone yet cheat on them. Why wouldn't they tell the truth and say something like this "My own sexual desire was more important to me than you. I tell you that I love you but I don't love you enough to be faithful. You trusted me and I played you for a ******* fool but you still forgive me right? I'm going out with the boys now but don't worry, I would never cheat on you again." You asked where the line was drawn, when he cheated on you the first time he vaulted over that line and laughed at you for believing in him. Kick him in the balls and get on with your life and find someone that respects you the way you deserve to be respected. In case you cannot tell, I hate cheaters. Best of luck.
2006-09-05 17:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's way past that line. People need that comfort feeling whether its from a place or person. As long as she's around, it's always going to be her. It's what he knew/knows, it's safe. It must hurt to know that it didn't lye with you in your relationship. Real love is comforting itself. He wouldn't need her for any reason. Don't give him another chance to hurt you or give you another reason not to trust him. It's okay to forgive him for what he did and move on but it's not okay to forget. You deserve a lot better than that no matter what type of person you are. Don't let him sway you.
2006-09-06 00:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by Milo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive, but you can never forget. I've been cheated on, and forgiven, but I haven't forgotten. It's inevitable that you'll be watching TV and something will come on that reminds you of it. There will be friends who are cheating and the topic will come up in discussion. Whenever we're watching a show or hearing a discussion involving cheating, we just remain silent, but I know the wheels are turning in both our heads. Where you draw the line is just before you think you'll fall off the cliff. In other words, what can you handle?
2006-09-06 00:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Psyche spied on Eros (the Greek God of Love) one night. He woke up, spread his wings, and as he flew out the window he said, "Where there is no trust, there can be no love."
I want you to think about this: forget and forgive. In that order. You have to forget first. If you haven't forgotten, you haven't forgiven. It has to become unimportant to you, not worth remembering, before you can BEGIN to forgive it.
There are plenty of good men out there you haven't met yet. Go find them and leave this cheater in your past!
2006-09-06 00:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the forgetting part that I'd worry about. Won't you always be looking for tell-tale signs, watching his every move, etc? Trust is a delicate, fragile thing between two people--he betrayed that trust--only you can decide this one. Best wishes ;)
2006-09-06 00:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by dawnee_babe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't doubt that it was "comfort" with you-and "love" with her . If he wasn't comfortable loving you-why would he love being comforted by her ? Forgive & forget isn't about being a doormat . Loose the guy ; he's trouble .Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him .Go with your instincts : don't trust him .
2006-09-06 00:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should forgive him; remaining in the relationship with him is solely up to you. I believe everyone should be forgiven for things, although I don't think forgetting is good. If you forget your past, you're destined to repeat it..
2006-09-06 00:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by Tai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this, perhaps you cannot forgive and that's ok. You need to do whats best for your heart.
2006-09-06 00:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by aquarian77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but this man is NOT in love with you.... you and the other woman are both side dishes..... he is being dishonest with you and himself...... you do not cheat on some one you love...... but, the bottom line is YOU have to decide when to NOT put up with it and where to draw the line...... God bless
2006-09-06 00:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forgive if it teaches a better lesson. Forget if it is not curable
2006-09-06 00:47:02 · answer #10 · answered by Freddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋