My MIL is throwing a major hissy fit...?

Question

Okay, my MIL is getting b****y all over again because we can't take a trip to see her this year. Admittedly, it's been 3 years since we traveled from our home (Texas) to where she's at in Georgia. But our not being there had nothing to do with wanting to be there; it's had everything to do with COULDN'T and CAN'T get there because of finances, school, work, surgery...whatever.

Now, we've made the trip numerous times over the years anyway...always by car and will small kids in tow. (The first time we went my son was 6 months old...ugh!) But my MIL (none of my in-laws really) has EVER been to our home...she has NEVER taken the trip for herself, even when we offered to pay for it. She tells us she "doesn't travel" but she went on a cruise a couple years ago and planned to travel by bus to see relatives in Ohio earlier this year.

Are we wrong to be so pissed off, especially when she berates us all the time? Why is it always OUR responsibility to make the journey?

Is there any way to shut her up...and the other inlaws, too, who call us complaining that we've "upset" her just because we told her we couldn't make a trip every time she asks?

BTW, we've never told her "we're going to be there" and then canceled on her...like she's done to us.

Answer 1

Your husband needs to take a stand and tell her that its physically impossible with at this point. Sometimes life becomes busy .. children are in school so that alone you can not pull them out - work obligations, and needless to say lack of funds at the current time. Then I would add, that if she is wanting to see you that bad then she has to take the trip. Its her turn... Either way, like you said she is having a hissy fit - let her have it.. don't stress over it and concentrate what is around you .. Your family.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 2

Send her pictures and let her know that it's way too expensive for you and the kids to travel all that way. Keep extending the visitation to her to save face, but let go of the guilt. The only reason she won't visit your house is because she won't have the control that she does in her own home. And you know how MIL's can be. Especially this one if she's constantly putting you down. The way I see it, if she's willing to travel for her own personal benefit, one would ask why she wouldn't travel to see her own grandchildren? I'd point that out if it were me. Turn the guilt around. And stop feeling obligated to do the traveling. It's a two way street here and she's going to have to meet you halfway.

Answer 3

All you can do is explain it to her. If she does not get it then have your hubby explain it again.

Honestly I would tell her if you want to see us and the kids then you need to come down. We just cant afford to come up there. She may not really be listening, because you are not telling her what she want to hear. It will be her loss when her grandbabies don't know her.

I told my mother in law, who come down here on a regular basis and does not stop and see her son and granddaughter that we just don't have the time to come up. Next time your down maybe you could stop by here. I live 2miles away from the interstate which she uses to get to her other son and daughter. She is passing our exit twice.

She doesnt get it either So good luck

Answer 4

The road goes both ways. If she needs to see you all so bad then she can make the trip. Don't let her control you and how you feel. Not to mention maybe you should tell her you don't feel the need to travel all that way to be berated.

Answer 5

Tell her that you are not going to come back to her house until she comes to visit you, and don't worry about what everyone else has to say. It has nothing to do with them.

Answer 6

Refuse to go and never go!