Anyone want to hear a good Catholic joke? This is not meant to offend anyone, remember we are all the same.?

Question

Please let me know what you think, Thank you.

SIPPING VODKA
This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain letter that I don't mind forwarding.
It's funny (don't break chain)

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Answer 1

Laughing....still laughing...can't type now....gotta laugh some more.

Too funny!

Thanks for that!

Answer 2

particular, they have faith Jesus became genuine and settle for He became a stable guy. a good number of people do. i will wager there is even some genuine Christians between them, too. Jesus does not rather register between them as Savior and Lord. They formally have faith in each and every thing and not something, having no stable "creed" to communicate of. each and every thing's up for grabs. They fairly entice loose-thinkers finding for any form of spiritualism going, no count if actual or not. does not count to them. From what i understand approximately them, they sound like the club of "hedging your bets", whilst appeared at from an impersonal attitude. Funnily sufficient, thinking is what they attempt to do with God. Joseph Smith, the founding father of mormonism/LDS, included plenty of their wishful questioning yet thoroughly unbiblical practice of believing "everybody is going to heaven" whilst forming his cult faith, too. rather a number of his close kin have been regularly occurring to be heavily into Unitarian Universalism whilst it first stepped forward interior the mid-1700's. As constantly whilst it contains the main modern-day element to tickle the ears. proportion and proportion alike interior of cults, eh?

Answer 3

LOL Very good joke. Here is one I like.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
--unknown

Answer 4

That's interesting

Answer 5

hilarious. I like jokes. Very esoteric.

Answer 6

It was funny, but we are not all the same. We are all very very different. I like it that way.

Answer 7

Very Very old

Answer 8

LOL......i showed it to my family and they all thought it was funny

Answer 9

old joke

but still cute

Answer 10

That was good for a laugh this evening!!