where can a strong resentment lead me?

Question

I'm 13, have a strong resentment of my parents, especially my father. I guess I'll never get over it. It's been like that for 7 months. Whenever possible, I avoid talking to tem, avoid being around them. Of course we don't know the future, but I think when I have a job and can live on my own I'll write my father offf my life and will very rarely talk with my mom.

Where can such resentment take me? What are the possible consequences of being so resentful about my parents? Will this harass my life?

Thank you for your time

Answer 1

Eventually, you get older and it just kind of goes away.

Answer 2

At your age, it's sometimes normal for a kid to have some resentments toward their parents. You are reaching the age of independence. However, if the resentments are as real and strong as you say they are, I suggest you talk with a counselor, teacher, or a clergy member to help you deal with this.
It isn't healthy to hold resentments toward anyone, especially toward your parents. Unless there is some kind of abuse/neglect going on, I'm sure your parents love you very much. More than anyone else in the world. Your parents are the last people on earth who will ever steer you wrong.
Is it because they correct you and try to discipline you that you resent them so much? If so, I'm sorry kid--that's their job!
If a parent doesn't discipline their children, they don't give a damn about their children. Lack of discipline is lack of love.
Mark Twain once said about his father: "When I was 18 years old, my father was the stupidest man I knew. I was amazed how much he had learned by the time I turned 21."
Every teenager thinks his/her parents are stupid and boring.
I did when I was your age. I've learned that my parents are not stupid. In fact, they are very wise people and I'm glad they are my parents. They are the ones who love me the most, have never steered me wrong, or betrayed me in any way whatsoever. They have helped me out many times even when I was on my own. I wish they had been more tough on me,when I was growing up, believe it or not, in some ways.
Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Perhaps a family counselor would be a good third party to be in on this meeting.
Resentments can take you to a living hell. They can even be the root of physical illness. If you don't get over this resentment, I believe it can and will make your life miserable.
We all deserve to be happy. Harboring a resentment blocks true peace and happiness.

Answer 3

Forgivnesss will set you free!Resentment,bitterness,unforgivness will chain you down and make you a slave.Efects other relationships in negitive ways that you wont even realize.
My real dad abused me in every way ill never forget but forgiving has been a long road that ive finaly came to the end of some times i find myself forgiving again and again and dealing with the anger all over again but each time becomes easier and i find more strength and more personal growth.He cant take that away!
I dont know your sercomstances of corse but beleive what i say if not just test it out for your self for awhile a good while not over
night.
Resentment takes you down aroad you dont want to go.Some day youll go your own way and live your life with themin it or with out them but you still will have to come to terms with your own heart.And make a chioce and desisition wether you want to or not the cercome stances that will arise and it will arise trust me,where you will have to,in this life or in your death.Its better to do it now and free your self so you can live a life of quallity and fullmilment sound mind and sound judgment and a life of freedom.

Answer 4

it will cage you like a bird Honey... Resentment is only hurting you. Your parents ar parent in particular is not giving you something you need obiviously, but reaching into a big black book called the Holy Bible, will give you what he can't. Don't hold on to it. It will harm you physically, rob you emotionally, and take hold of the young woman you are becoming. Every future boyfriend and eventually your mate will have to pick up the baggage. Don't let it. Stand strong, grab a belief that you will be free one day.. The world is a very harsh place and will get worse before God comes and masters the earth. Sounds scary I know, but the Bible will tell you all about the love, fellowship, obedience, faith you will need to get you through. Don't be scared, go pick it up and open it to the book of John.. and read it. Then the book of Romans or REvelation.. That's what you need honey, a REVELATION.. be strong and courageous.. God will not leave nor forsake you.. be blessed and strong for your own spirit.. with love.. fellow christian

Answer 5

some people will always be in and out of your life and some you would rather want out because of anger or they did something, i would say learn to forgive and forget because you never know when you may need something from your parents and most importantly your parents will have advice that you could only learn from living on this earth long enough.

If you really can't stand them, you need to work on a comprimise of some sort. At the end of the day if your parents want to get rid of you as much as you want to get rid of them, you could find your self on the street very quickly and then the chances of you finding a good decent paying job will be a lot harder. You could end up in drugs, prositution or crime and then your parents might as well as write you off, not the other way,

To sum it up, I would say tolerate your parents, get your university education and school education from them. Uni is four years if you go to the states and 3 in a lot of other countries, then you will be out of the house for 3-4 years. Worst comes to worse, ask your folks to put you in a boarding school, so you don't have to see them as much.

Answer 6

But you don't say why you resent, is it for a reason? If not then...sounds like something you will grow out of. I have resented my dad for most my life, he was an alcoholic he died in his 60's but I had decided to send him a Christmas card a few months before he died as I did not know he was going to die and was glad I did as I would have felt sad not to have forgiven him.You are young now and know that life changes and changes fast. Your parents have done so much to bring you up and keep you safe ( I am guessing this is the case) try to respect them.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. I had (have) a similar feeling towards my parents. If you really feel like you can live without them, then just make sure you do well in high school and get into a good college. Once you have your life in order, you can do whatever you wish with your relationship with your parents. I, on the other hand, didn't do well in school, nor did I go to a good college. It turned out that I needed my parents' help to turn my life around. We still don't get along, but I could be dead without them.

Have hope, though. Your feelings toward your parents could always change. You may need to sit them down and talk to them like adults. If you can't reason with them, then take the above advice and don't kill yourself trying to get their approval or 'love.'

Answer 8

Your dad must have really pissed you off good. To resent is to "refeel", usually a negative emotion such as anger, rejection, etc. If you want to re-feel this wrong he did you over & over, it will make you bitter, it might justify you turning to drugs & booze, might justify you doing other behaviors that are self-destructive so you can blame your father ("It's because of him blah, blah, blah)....
Honey, we all screw up. Parents especially. I know mine did. So you can carry your resentment around like your own personal cross, or you can try to forgive, ditch your cross, and get on with your life. And your relationship with your father. Level with him. Let him know how you feel about what he did/didn't do, and how that made you feel, let him have that anger/frustration/whatever-it-is and free yourself to have a happy life.
One day you might be a parent. You might be the one who needs to be forgiven. Then what?
Bless.

Answer 9

Get over it. But this doesn't mean you have to be all nice-nice and forgive them. Parents can seriously mess up your life. Sometimes, after what they've done to you emotionally or otherwise, "forgiveness" is not an option.

Oh, and "FlaChick", who says "sweetie pie" that ISN'T a "spoiled baby little brat"???? All the girl did was ask a question so she WOULDN'T turn out to be a brat...If you read the entire question and thought about it, you'd see that...



Look. Sometimes people just can't get over things. It's a defense mecahanism. Why let it happen again? But still...Just be careful, and don't let it consume you totally. But that doesn't mean you have to just accept what they did.

Answer 10

OH sweetie, I'm sorry to hear this! and let me tell you the answer is very hard! Because at 13 we really don't know what life is about, and sometimes parents suck at explaining!
I would love to hear more about the issue, maybe I can help! I've been through alot too.
Contact me to talk if you'd like.

Oh and if you don't write to me let me leave you with one thing---- Remember before she was your mom she was a person just like you, with flaws, problems and torments.
If i know i could help, but even better if you get to know your mom and dad for who they really are you might be surprizes at what you'll find and yes these feeling will lead to major problem later even in your marriage and family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope u write hun

Answer 11

resentment, especially strong resentment is always hurtful. Its harming you and you need to find a way to deal with it and not let it get to you. Otherwise, it will continue to grow and keep hurting you. Good luck. You are so young.... life is hard enough without that added hurt. Get some help and live happy!!!