wot can i do as we are not married and i want him to see his children but i dont think he will he left me becouse i was saving money to much i had a baby nine months ago and im more than sure ive got post natal deppression and he said i am making his life a total misery i think ive got an obbsesion about saving and now its ruining my life any advice would be helpfull thank you
2006-09-05 15:01:47 · 17 answers · asked by melody3470 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
girl i'm giving you a big internet hug. my moms boyfriend never took care of me and her. she raised two kids on her own. if he won't do it, God will guide you. He helped mom and now i'm a college student. talk to me when you feel bad. dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. again a big internet hug cuz it really hits home. stay strong for the baby.
2006-09-05 15:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) If you have post natal depression, you should see a doctor. They really can help you with that.
2) I question how you can save too much money, unless somehow you can't pay the bills. It sounds like he's being irrational. I'd say the best solution there is to keep seperate bank accounts. Let him know you're willing to try and work something out. If he's not, you're better off without him. However, he's still responsible for the kids, so make sure he pays child support.
2006-09-05 15:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by spunk113 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really are saving too much then it's probably because you feel you're lacking in security. This could be another symptom of your depression. See a doctor, get some counselling so you can look inside yourself and find out how you're really feeling before you go for medication, especially with kid(s) in tow.
Also, if your man takes off at the first sign of trouble he's not worth your tears or your time. I find that dancing to an upbeat tune is a great way to cheer myself up at such times, because our brains releases 'happy' chemicals when we exercise. If you have kids that are old enough dance with them, it's great fun.
2006-09-06 00:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously I dont know all the nitty gritty bits to this but your boyfriend sounds quite immature & not ready for parenthood & is running away as that his way of coping, a bit like the ostrich burying its head in the sand. With regard to you saving 'too much' I suspect that his values of material things are quite different to yours and sounds like he is one of those live for today & dont worry about tomorrow type of people, but that way of thinking can lead to big problems. Money is there to be used wisely, its no good depriving yourself or the kids when you havethe money there to enjoy things, but at the same time you never know what is roundthe corner & its very sensible to put some money by for unexpected expenses. It would be fantastic to get the relationship back on track, but if he's gone to persue a 'young , free & single lifestyle' & shirk his responsibilities, then you are worth better than that............let him go, you are better off without him.......Good luck to you & the kids
2006-09-05 21:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you got Post Natal Depression then you best go to your doctor and get something for it or it might cause you do something you will regret.
You can't make him see his kid if he doesn't want to. It's his loss if he doesn't and hope he regrets it one day when it's too late.
There is nothing wrong with saving, aslong as you are not missing out on anything by doing so.
2006-09-05 15:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by earthangel_ghost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..............a court order will be helpful for child support and to clear up any disputes over when visitation may be. Saving money is NOT a bad thing. Trust me you are doing a GREAT thing. Stay strong girl. I left my daughters father when she was 15 months old (she just turned 4 the end of july) and it's been a bumpy road, but we are surviving. He pays child support and is supposed to see her every other weekend, but half the time he doesn't call. Just remember, It's his loss, don't feel like the bad guy if he doesn't take responsibility to see his children. You don't need to hold his hand and tell him when it's time. Keep your chin up, and if you need to, see your OBGYN about your postpartum depression. Stay strong for your babies.
2006-09-05 15:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by Shell_Lynn99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly visit the doc, i did when i had depression, secondly chuck out everything of your fella's in bin bags, saving is not a bad idea, at least you have a bit of dosh now he is gone treat yourself and your kids to a nice day out a visit to the park with a picnic with some friends will bring a smile on to your face.enjoy not being nagged by a partner.ask your partner to see kids regulary, even if once a week for a couple of hours, if he refuses or is irregular dont push the issue keep a diary of visits etc.
2006-09-05 21:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by bigfatz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saving money isnt a bad thing...Sometimes you have rainy days and you need the savings...sounds like, you were being prepared for this. Go to your doctor for your depression. They can help. Have them check your thyroid as well. My first child, helped my thyroid to shut off. I was tired, and down and it was awful. But after they figured out what was wrong with me, I got on some medicine and everything fell into place. You need to see a doctor either way. As for him, give him some space, work on making yourself feel better and see what happens.
2006-09-05 15:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by abc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are hurting, it sounds like you have couple of problems to sort out but if you think you have post natal depression please see the doctor if you can get that treated the other problems may be easier to deal with.
Obsessions can sometime be caused by depression so if it is treated it might help with that also.
Take care
2006-09-05 15:29:54 · answer #9 · answered by silkie_sea_fae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been through a simular situation,you just have to get on with life,life can be cruel at times but in the end its all worth it,you have lovely children not everyone can have children so you are lucky,as for the post natal depression.....try talking to a doctor.....and the obsession to saving..i dont think theres anything wrong with it..........
2006-09-05 15:28:56 · answer #10 · answered by theblackwitch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man is worth your tears, and the one who is Won't make you cry! everyone makes mistakes you really have. you found yourself carrying that wheit of the world and no one to help hold you. my mom had a lot to handle with my crazy dad don't hurt your kids with your mistakes please! now i find myself with guys just like my dad. I'll tell you what u need help right now not latter! Be as happy and Strong as u can be. find God and if you don't have faith you have nothing. I'm a member a church called the L.D.S the most impotent thing in life is family and if you don't have a good foundation your family will fall. I'm asking you to pray and i will pray for you to night. look up our church on the computer at lds.org we can help you. but only if you really want help. please do something for your kids they don't need this. if you ever need anyone to talk to just e-mail me @ off_the _wall1991@yahoo.com
2006-09-05 16:35:09 · answer #11 · answered by off_the_wall1991 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋