Do some people really believe that sexually abused children grow up to be abusers?

Question

I find this excuse offensive as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse? Does anyone else feel this way? I feel we are responsible for our own actions and how we handle things.

Answer 1

its not a belief its a fact.....a fact proven by countless studies on child abusers. the way you bring your children up affects who they are as an adult and thats just fact! dont know if youre a mum, but when you are you'll realise all those things your mum said that you swore you would never say to your kids, all of the sudden start flowing from your mouth....

Answer 2

There are statistics that are attached with this research not all abusers were abused for statistics show that 30% of abused children grow up to be abusers 70% do not , it like saying some one has been raped and are more likely to rape others that is a stupid view. Also alot of peophiles where not abused as children we have to keep that in mind, a huge portion not all lie and say they were also abused to gain sympathy. Im researching this for un upcoming documentary I am doing. a few links posted can help http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Child_Sexual_Abuse_09.aspx

another from the institute of child health
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2732083.stm

so in conclusion some people that get abused totally distain it and stay away and a small percent reabuse this also goes for physical abuse most times the abusers have never been abused they have a serious issue that needs to be addressed. So it is not true that abused children are more likely to be abusers.

Answer 3

I don't think it is offered as an offensive explanation, and suspect that the people carrying out the research to reach this conclusion would always have the most perfect sympathy for anyone who has suffered at the hands of an abuser, whatever their age. But it has been offered as a statistical probability - when adult abusers are caught and questioned about their behaviour, it very often turns out to result from a pattern of behaviour that they had instilled into them, whereby the older/bigger person takes power over a younger/smaller one. As adults of course they are responsible for their actions, and no-one has suggested that there is a direct if-you-were-abused you-will-become-an-abuser correlation, nor that abusers should not be held responsible for their actions. But it is still statistically known to be so, and is among the many reasons why child abuse needs to be tackled as a high priority - the fewer children suffering from abuse now, then (statistically) the fewer of them will go on to repeat the pattern of abuse they are being taught today on the children of the future.

Answer 4

Sadly the damage is so bad in some cases this is true. No one said they weren't responsible for their behavior, thats a whole new issue. You are talking about apples and oranges here. That doesn't mean all or even many do grow up to be sexual abusers, but some do. You can't generalize these things. I know many who have survived and do not abuse others themselves, but have met some who have. I don't see this as an excuse just a fact. There is no excuse, we all have choices, we can seek help,counseling and support. I try not judge others, but with childhood sexual abuse I have a tough job. There is a whole range of symtoms and behavior from childhood sexual abuse. There is help and recovery. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

There's a lot that happens in families that children can hang onto and pass onto their children. Many times, the old saying holds true -- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I agree with you when you say that it is a choice to abuse. However, lots of people make choices based on experience because it takes strength and rationale to make new choices and take an unexplored path.

I can also understand why you may feel offended by others using their history as an excuse for current behavior. You were, fortunately, strong enough to realize how it affected you and did not adopt your parents' patterns.

Psychology and social work theories have identified familial patterns and therapists have worked diligently to help people put issues such as these behind them. Unfortunately, they have also gone to court and testified on their client's behalf, indicating that their history and lack of judgment were "excuses" for behavior. There's books and books of case histories and studdies that can be used as supporting information for their theories.

Until people wake up and realize that we live on a free will planet and are, ultimately, responsible for all we think and do, situations like this will continue.

Answer 6

People do believe this. I also find it offensive as I am a survivor also. I said that if it was a cycle of abuse then I was putting a stop to it with me. I just think it is really a way for people to blame others for their terrible actions. People need to grow up and take responsibility of their own actions and stop blaming others. No one put a gun to their head and told them to do it or die.

Senebty

Answer 7

Many studies show-and from what I've seen from personal experience-abuse tends to breed abuse, and it teaches it's children well. As a survivor of abuse myself, my abuser was also abused and he did what was done to him, so there was my example. But I have never abused anyone in my life. I love children. I used to be terrified that I would become an abuser, but to this day I have not, and I don't feel any suppressed urges to abuse any children. I would die if I hurt my son.
Maybe for some people that study proves true, but I agree with you. We are responsible for our own actions in life.

Answer 8

It is not an excuse, it's a fact. Many abusers were abused as children. They never learned how to deal with the anger, etc. and "play out" their feelings by doing it to someone else. I have never heard anyone excuse abuse because of this....but it is a psychological fact that abuse can be passed down in generations, if it's not arrested and dealt with head-on.

Answer 9

You misunderstood. Abused children are MORE LIKELY to grow up to be abusers. As already stated, it is not a law. Yes, people are responsible for their own actions, but the trauma of child abuse CAN change a person dramatically.

Answer 10

Not all sexually-abused children become abusers themselves...but according to statistical evidence a significant percentage of abusers today were once abused themselves. The rest I guess are really sick and twisted individuals...but who knows really?

However in the end...I believe that our actions speak volumes of what we really are as people. If these poor souls become abusers... it is through their own choice... not anyone else's. And they must therefore bear sole responsibility for their actions.

Answer 11

Statistically it's a fact, what percentage of the reason for it being reality is unknown, it could be any combination of environmental or genetic circumstances combined w. upbringing and abuse but it is v. unlikely that neither is a contributing factor. Women probably have a much lower rate of these type perversions due to the double X chromosomes, men are always going to have vastly more mutations w. only 1 X, thus 10 times more criminals and 10 times more geniuses regardless of political correctness.