my feonce asked me to marry him 1 1/2 yrs ago and still wont set a date. im over everone asking whens the big day. it feels like he only asked me to shut me up. we have been together 4 yrs and i feel its come to a holt. we love eachother more than anything but how do i get him to fully commit?
2006-09-05 13:24:25 · 5 answers · asked by chlo_bo69 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You and he need to have a serious talk here.
Sit him down and turn off the TV, radio, computer, and any other possible distractions. Tell him that you are ready to get married. You want to make the commitment to him. Ask him what is holding him back.
If he tells you something reasonable, like money, suggest ways to work around the problems or how to get rid of it all together.
If he doesn't have a reason, or it's a bad one like he's just not ready, then ask him why he proposed. Then suggest pre-marital counseling. If he truly loves you, he will do his best to keep the relationship going.
If he says he's ready but just won't set a date, then set one for him. Look at the calendar and find a day 6-12 months in advance. Then tell him what the day is, and ask if he has any reasonable objections.
If he doesn't, then start planning for a wedding that's within your budget.
If he does, then ask him why. Find out as much as you can, and make suggestions.
In the end, you two may actually need the pre-marital counseling to get past his "cold feet".
2006-09-05 16:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is, if you are gaining enough... I think he means if you dont go into labor by the 40th week then you can get induced and have a date set to do so, it's no big deal. You just go in and get the normal IV anyway and they put pitossin in there and it starts your contractions, then he breaks your water. You most likely will go into labor before that. I think he said something about it because most women at your stage are so uncomfortable they want to know that the end is coming soon!! Thumbs down? Ah well - I think the doc was just trying to be ahead of the game and wasnt going to induce until after the due date.... just wanted to set a date in case, maybe so he didnt get filled up with routine appointments -all I was trying to say. (they said they were going to set a date at the 36 apt, not that they were going to induce then!)
2016-03-17 08:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite him over and make him dinner. Before he leaves the office call him and ask him to bring his planner. Then after you eat and are all romantic, bring out the planners and tell him no dessert until there is a date.
Good Luck!
2006-09-05 14:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him to give you a date that is special to him and when he tells you say great that is the day we will get married if it is already passed then tell him next year on that day if he disagrees then ask him when do you want the day to be and if you don't tell me i will pick the day and if you can't agree on a day in the next 6 months tell him so long good luck and congratulations on your engagment
2006-09-05 13:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by christy b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him fully commit. I think you're right. He did ask you to marry him to shut you up for another couple years.
If this is not what you want, stand up for yourself and try to get him to understand. Otherwise, move on and find somebody who appreciates his time with you.
2006-09-05 13:27:22 · answer #5 · answered by vicvic* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to set the day or you are leaving.
2006-09-05 13:38:37 · answer #6 · answered by AusPixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋