A woman has a child that is mildly mentally challenged (cannot talk and is over-active), but she is a great mom to her child. She has a girlfriend who is very cool; they hang out, talk, laugh, and just do all around girl stuff. However, when the mom with the special needs child needs a sitter, she can't count on her girlfriend to watch her kid. Is it wrong to be upset at the friend for not wanting to assist or support her when it comes to watching her kid? Why do you think the girlfriend doesn't want to watch the kid? Is she afraid that maybe she can't handle the responsibility?
2006-09-05 13:16:12 · 7 answers · asked by Inquiring mind wants to know.. 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Some people are fearful or intimidated by people of any age with developmental disabilities. It is a fact of human nature. I am sure that the friend may be just that.
I work with people that are developmentally disabled, and I can tell you from seeing others come and go from the place I work - not everyone can handle it.
If I were the mom of the developmentally disabled child, I would call my county's department of family services and find out if there is anyone that specializes in care for children that fit my child's situation. People usually alert county services when they do things like that due to the services the county provides to people. If they can't help, then maybe have the child and friend spend time together. Maybe the friend just doesn't feel comfortable with the kid, and doesn't know how to handle the kid. The more time the friend spends around the child, and can see how the child is dealt with, she may come around. But don't force the issue. If she doesn't want to watch the child, then that is her right. I wouldn't judge her on it, though. Not everyone can deal with situations like that.
2006-09-05 15:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our oldest son is autistic and very difficult to manage. I have friends who have no issues watching our other two children, ages 6 years and 2 months, but few will tackle our 11 year old. I've actually asked a few why they won't watch him and it's usually because they're not sure they can handle him if he has a "fit". And it's not just with friends, even finding a day care who will take a child with disabilities is next to impossible.
As for being upset with the friend for not wanting to assist... that's not fair. The kids are my responsibility (even if the two oldest are step children, I still accepted responsibility for them when I married their father). Yes, it would be nice to have that date night with their dad or be able to do something without three kids around but then I shouldn't have had kids if I wasn't willing to take on that responsibility.
2006-09-05 15:10:44 · answer #2 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that 'mentally challenged' right away ends up in a low IQ (which isn't continuously the case!): 0 -seventy 5 IQ continues to be a huge decision: for instance: A 2 year previous toddler probable does no longer imagine it isn't almost as good as say a 5 year previous, yet a 10 year previous ought to observe of it isn't almost as good as a 13 year previous, yet then an 88 year previous ought to nto see themselves as not almost as good as a ninety 12 months previous. an age decision of three years, relies upon on who you note it to. Pehaps that is an same with your question: I could imagine it ought to also be counted upon who they stay with, how they're taught and so on. - in the journey that they are an actually toddler who is going to a 'particular desires' college, the position each and all and sundry is an same, then they could no longer comprehend. yet in the journey that they have brothers and sisters and spend area of thier time in 'mainstream' college then perchance they do comprehend.
2016-12-06 11:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It very well could be that she is intimidated or afraid to care for the child alone. I believe that the two need to talk it out and maybe the friend could learn and familiarize herself with how to handle the child and sit a few times. But if the friend is just not comfortable, then I wouldn't force it. No body should have to do something they aren't comfortable with.
2006-09-05 13:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For someone who does not have a special needs child, caring for one can be scary. Even if the mother of the special needs child thinks it isn't that different than caring for a "regular" needs child, chances are, her friend does. Also, does the other woman have children? I know I have never asked my friends without children to watch my children. I just never felt comfortable doing it. Actually I have only had a friend watch my one son for 2 hours. I usually ask relatives. I don't think being friends with someone means that you have to watch their children. If they will, wonderful...but it is a favor.
2006-09-05 13:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Susan W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not the friends kid and is not her responsibility. I have never asked my friend to watch my 2 yr old even though I know they wouldnt mind, it is my child and ultimately my responsibility.
2006-09-05 13:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by wendyb204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's exactly it, or, if she does it once she's going to be expected to do it all the time.
2006-09-05 13:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋