A woman has a child that is mildly mentally challenged (cannot talk and is over-active), but she is a great mom to her child. She has a girlfriend who is very cool; they hang out, talk, laugh, and just do all around girl stuff. However, when the mom with the special needs child needs a sitter, she can't count on her girlfriend to watch her kid. Is it wrong to be upset at the friend for not wanting to assist or support her when it comes to watching her kid? Why do you think the girlfriend doesn't want to watch the kid? Is she afraid that maybe she can't handle the responsibility?
2006-09-05 13:15:45 · 11 answers · asked by Inquiring mind wants to know.. 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
When you have a friend that does,nt want to babysit your children thats ok that they don,t want to do it. It should not reflect on your friendship-that child is not her responsablity. Not everyone is good at children let alone a mildly challenged child. Children are huge responsabilities and just maybe she either does,nt want it or can,t do it.
We all have friends with different qualities that bring different things to our lives, she brings conversation, laughter and someone to hang with- others may bring different things. Don,t expect from a friendship anything other than what the other person is giving to you and you will reain friends along time,
2006-09-05 14:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by ~♥ L ♥~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are close to a friend in one area it doesn't mean you will be close in all areas. You know, you have friends you shop with, others you jog with, others you sit on the couch and eat chocolate with... No one should be expected to be all things for you. Maybe this girlfriend just doesn't enjoy the mother aspect of her friend's life. It's sad, but I know most of us moms have at least one friend we grew apart from when we started having kids.
As others have said, it could be she just isn't comfortable around any kids. Or, if she doesn't have kids and wants them, it could be hard for her to be around kids. Or, if it really is the special needs issue, she probably is over-whelmed by the idea. If she doesn't have kids, she just feels nervous. If she does have kids, she probably worries about trying to figure out how to integrate another child into her world, even just for the night.
If it's an issue, the mom should ask. But I say live and let live. Once she's ready to discuss things, she will, and she'll appreciate her mom friend not pushing her or making her feel guilty as she works through whatever it is she might be feeling.
2006-09-05 14:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the friend have kids also? Someone who has little or no experience watching children may be very nervous to do so especially if the child is under 5 and/or has special needs.
2006-09-05 13:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its because the Friend knows that she cant handle the child, or she just doesn't want to. it isn't right for the mother to be upset with the friend for not wanting to baby sit, that's the friends Choice. the mom needs to find a sitter trained to deal with Mentally ill children.
2006-09-05 15:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a mentally ill child and I have never asked any of my friends to watch him. He is a big responsibility and is very hard to take care of. The friend is probably just scared that something willl happen and she may hurt the child or not know what to do. I know if I hadn't had experience with handicapped children I would not want to either. Just ask her why.
2006-09-05 13:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by Christinamk227 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if the child is a handful or if the mother is over protective of the child because of the mental illness than the friend may not want to watch the child to fear that it might compromise her friendship and she may just not want to babysit and the mother should not expect her to friends are not obligated to watch your children anymore then the mother is obligated to clean her friends house just because there friends this should not come between them at all.
2006-09-05 14:04:16 · answer #6 · answered by heather d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have personally never been in this situation...I've protected myself by not asking my friends to watch my son. The one time my friend watched my son it was because she offered. I think it's incredibly rude to ask friends to watch your kids because it sort of backs them into a corner. If they say no, they feel bad...if they say yes...they may not want to. I leave it up to them, if they offer...I'll take them up on it but if not...I leave it at that! Maybe she just doesn't want to watch the child...some people aren't excited about kids and some just don't want to do it. Respect that!
2006-09-05 14:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, that must be the reason. special care can only be provided by an expert in the field. and she doesn't want the friendship to be ruined if ever she fails in caring for the child.
2006-09-05 13:24:38 · answer #8 · answered by Rolly r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to watch my girlfriend's children either. Could be conflict of interest, or she doesn't want the responsibility. You are not owed a reason..she chooses not to.
2006-09-05 15:19:48 · answer #9 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think she is afraid that she won't be able to handle it. aren't most people afraid of what they do not understand?
sorry, i hate to answer a question with a question!
2006-09-05 13:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Emily E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋