I tried scoping out this internet dingy for a similar question and found nothing more than whiny little teenagers complaining about how much they hate their family and want to leave and live with their puppy love significant other.
Well I'm 29 and with the exception of one brother, I don't hate my family. I just don't feel any attachment. They mean well and I know they love me, but I just don't feel happy around them.
Holidays have just felt like obligations that I apparently have to become the good son and go visit. I hate this culture of family always. I must "love" my brother? Why? Movies preach on, how miserable the non-family man is. I feel miserable going to see them. Why is it I'm the bad guy.
My own personal relationships just seem to be constantly hampered by my personal unhappiness around them.
Am I really that wrong for wanting to split away?
Even now I'm trying to think of a way to avoid Thanksgiving and Christmas.
2006-09-05 13:01:42 · 9 answers · asked by Ben B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know what, everyone else can be mad at me for saying this if they want to but in my opinion; if you aren't happy, move on. Everyone needs personal space once in a while. I'm married (17yrs) with 2 kids and sometimes I want to go away for a week or 2, just to get my head screwed back on straight. I've never done it, but sometime I would really like to. (I love my family dearly). Maybe you need to get away from your family for a little while, tell them that you love them and don't want to hurt them, but that you need to have some "you" time away from all the obligations etc... please keep in touch with them while you are gone, I'm not saying call every week, or even every month, but call on special occasions at least. GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-09-05 14:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by chulita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then why bother. Most of my brothers and sister don't see each other and we live very normal lives. But then we didn't grow up together either. We all grew up in different foster homes so for the most part we are family only by name. Why go with the way things are and not the way people wished they were. You are not in a movie this is your life. How about being honest with yourself and with those around you. You don't have to be rude about it, just honest.
2006-09-05 20:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by mr. Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you have unresolved issues.
One thing to remember - you never really leave your family - they are still there...
Perhaps your life away from your family needs a little spicing up.
Perhaps a little time apart - absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I heard one of those famous quotes - it was something like...Family is just a coincidence of genetics...family is the reason we have friends!
Let yourself off the hook - dont go home for Thanksgiving this year - find something else to do, just for yourself.
And then maybe next year Thanksgiving and time with the family will be special again.
2006-09-05 20:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by Melis__A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a break buddy. Were you smothered by your family groing up? Don't worry. It's natural to feel the need for separation. You may try it and find that you were wrong. Or on the other hand, it may be the best thing for you. Remember, YOU make the decisions in your life. Good luck with it.
2006-09-05 20:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by bigwilly1997 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame On You! Leaving Isn't Going To Solve The Problem, It's Just Gonna Make It Bigger, Suck It Up, And Try To Mend Fences
2006-09-05 20:05:04 · answer #5 · answered by david_e22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all u have to pray..... i understand what u mean... with my family im the suppose to be nice guy i 4 give and all that which is good in the eyes of god. but hanging around my family like i use to i have stop. i told myself that i have no real obligation to comming around all the time or even attending family functions. the trith is i to find myself feeling out of place, so to keep me in tune with me i just call them to say hello and im honest about that i have other plans . as long as i call to let them know im alive they r now happy about that. cause they use to make me feel so bad not comming around when they thought that i should. i just stop comming over then next thing u know a whole year rolled round. now they r very happy when i do come around cause i will stop comming around all 2gether. thats not being mean it's just keeping ur self from any unnessary sins like y be round ppl u dont want to really be around then u think mean things and some times even sin when if in fact if u were not around them u would not have done so... i guess im saying stand up to them and tell them u have a life just like they do. so stop trying to force u to be around before u dont be around at all. or u can just suck it up and get over it. good luck may god bless u n ur family
2006-09-05 20:12:02 · answer #6 · answered by 1plum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family loves you more than anything in the world and the one thing that they hate is for you to be sad because you feel as if you don't 'fit in'. I don't believe you're wrong for feeling that way, btu at the same time, have you tried to tell them this is the way that you feel? Have you talked to them about it??
2006-09-05 20:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by daheavenly1_02 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can run...but think about this, what are you running from?
Maybe being around your family brings out emotions you don't want to face. You'll never find "real" happiness w/out those people you've come to despise.
2006-09-05 20:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by south_lido 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same roblem. my family is all nice and a bunch of good people but i just dont really like them. i dont hate them but i dont really like the ether. i think the only thing we can do i soldier on and make them and every one else happy.
2006-09-05 20:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋