My son is seven years old. I was incarserated in prison when my girlfriend found out she was pregnant. I guess while I was in prison she got arrested for possesion/distributing illegal substances. Her parents took the custody of my son, but didn't adopt him. They now want to adopt him (she is still in prison and doesn't want him) My parents paid child support to her parents while I was in prison and since I've been out I've paid child support. Her parents still want to adopt...is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening? Shouldn't I get full custody of my child? I cannot afford a lawyer and I'm not sure what I shoud do? What steps should I be taking? I think the trouble I've gotten into really makes me a "bad parent." Her parents seem to have issues with the fact that I'm Mexican?!?
2006-09-05 12:49:13 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would look in the yellow pages for some kind of legal aid, where they can take your case on a sliding fee basis. If you have a stable job and home I say you should definatley fight it.
2006-09-05 12:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by priss879 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off, what you are is not even relevant beyond the fact of your being a father. You say your son is 7 years old, so the question here now lies with what is in the childs best interest. If you honestly think you son would have a better home and better care with you, his father , than go to legal aid, that is what they are there for. If however you know the your son is better off where he is, then try to work out a way, if nothing else and until you can get it together, to be allowed to see your son, as a trial thing. The ultimate decision here is not really what you want, it really is all about him and what is better for him and makes him happy. Please, before you do anything at all, think of his well being first, no matter how much it may break your own heart in the end.
2006-09-05 19:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by mother_of_bonehead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can't adopt w/out severing your rights, and that has to be done through the courts, many lawyers will work on a sliding fee, that being said...is you gaining full custody of child in the best interest of the child? Maybe grandparents just want to continue raising a child they have had for 7 years. To remove that child from all he has known is selfish and self centered, maybe you can work something out that is in the best interest of your son and can ensure you are an active part of his life.
2006-09-07 12:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by Jep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm adopted (not at all the same situation though). I'm telling you that so you know what perspective I'm coming from. First, does your son know you as Dad? My parents (the ones who adopted me) are my parents, not my biological parents. They are the ones who sat with me when I was sick, took care of me and taught me right from wrong. I would be interested in meeting my biological parents, but they would never be my mom and dad. For 7 years, your son has known these two people as his parents (even if he doesn't call them mom and dad). Keep that in mind. Now, do you want custody just because you think you should have it?
I'm sure you can get a court appointed lawyer. I'm positive they can't adopt without you signing over your rights as a father. But, it may be better for you to not force them to give up custody, at least not right away. Why not start out with visitation? You can get a court order so that you can have him certain days. Then it won't matter if the have issues with the fact that you are Mexican. Besides if you are, your son is too. Remember, they have been raising your son for 7 years. They love him. I can't imagine if someone wanted to take my children away from me. I'm sure they love your son, just as if he was one of their own children. Don't be so quick to cut them out. I do think you should get involved in your son's life and maybe eventually take custody. But don't rush it. Please get lots of advice and really try to make a decision that is in your son's best interest. Think of him first. That's what a daddy does. Remember, "Anyone can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad."
2006-09-05 21:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by Susan W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the sheer fact that you were gone for seven years of your sons life make's you an irresponsable parent and you may love your son and want him with you but think of what is best for him and not yourslef he has lived with his grandparents his whole life it is the only home he has ever known and the only parents he has ever known he has a life there school friends activities. you can be a active part of his life withough ripping him from everything he has known heres your chance to be a good parent and let the child stay where he is. and when you say mexican are you a legal citizen because if your not the system isnt really going to work all that well for you.
2006-09-05 19:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by heather d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer , through legal aid or something , does the child know you , if not you will need to start out with what is called reintroduction and as long as you do your part you can stop the adoption and eventually gain custody of your child if you prove yourself a reliable parent. the courts can not hold a prison record against you , if its your child
2006-09-05 23:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by sindi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im really sorry but IF you know that you are really and truly ready to be a parent than maybe adoption is the best thing. that means, grounded, not doing illegal things, have safe friends and a safe community that your son can grow up in and not feel threatened by. He can becom himself and not pressured to become a gang memeber or worse...
he needs to be emotionally supported by whomever can do that for him. it is best if (you) his father can do that but only if you can also give him all the other things listed. Parenting is NOT easy. good luck
2006-09-05 20:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by becca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might look into joint custody.
I COMPLETELY I appreciate you wanting to be involved in your child's life. However, can it really be the best thing for him to have the only home he's ever known pulled out from underneath him?
If his grandparents are the people who he knows as parents and loves, then you should probably let him continue living with them.
2006-09-05 19:56:22 · answer #8 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well her parents are wrong if they have issues with an mexican, but about your child... i feel that you have every right to get him back and like your out of jail so you should get your son back. if ya dont.. thats soo unfair or at least they should let you see him. and no your not an bad parent because you wanna be there for your son and everyone makes bad mistakes so that dont make you a bad person, its just makes you think twice about things.
2006-09-05 19:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by adamsgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you might want you son But you need to remember that he has been taken care of by his grandparents for 7 years that's along time. does he know you? Do you see him? if you do and you really are paying Support and stuff then they will need you to sign over your right in order to adopt BUT if you don't sign your rights away they will have to take you to court. You will need to make sure you have ALL your Sh*t together or the courts will just take your rights away, BTW once they Adopt him you wont have to pay child support anymore.
2006-09-05 19:56:01 · answer #10 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋