How can I get my dad to see the woman he married is not good for him he's a devoted deacon in the church and we are always hearing stories about this woman he married that she is on the street (crack head) she went through all my dads money like water she's gone for days at a time and the just come back to the house like nothing happened. I need advice on what to say to my dad b/c I feel he can do bad by himself but he'd be a lot better if she was gone
2006-09-05 12:38:15 · 12 answers · asked by Sassy Sistah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your dad will probably come to terms with it in his own way and at his own time. In the meantime be there for him and supportive of him. He is going to make his own decisions and we all have that right. He must care a great deal about this woman - he married her. And no one else knows what the relationship is between couples. Hopefully things will work out well. Mainly, be there for him if he needs you, and otherwise you have to let him lead his own life.
2006-09-05 12:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
This is a situation that you have to take calmly and slowly. First of all, are you sure that what you think of your dad's new wife is true? That it's not propelled by any dislike you have of her, or if your sources dislike her as well. If your positive that it's true then do the following:
1.take your dad aside, at a time when you're sure he's free to listen and doesn't have something else going on.
2.explain in a calm manner what you fear is going on with his marriage.
3.Make sure not to slander his wife, because that will make you seem like you're doing this out of spite and you're not honest in trying to help the situation.
4.Don't force your ideas upon your dad. Let him process what you say and take it slowly, understanding that maybe he won't believe you immediately.
5.If he completely denies you, then it might be time to bring someone else in- like a mediator.
6.DO NOT CONFRONT THE WOMAN!! Let your dad handle that after you speak, because that problem is between your dad and her.
7.Hope for the best and make sure to think before you speak!!!
2006-09-05 19:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by nerdlovercl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure if this is the case, your Dad, will find out soon enough, as I am sure someone in the church will finally say something to him, and if he is a wise man, it won't take him long to figure it out. A lot of times when fathers remarry it is a big adjustment on every ones part, so it has to give on both sides.
2006-09-05 19:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by koni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to respect that your Dad is an adult and is able to make decisions for himself. There is history about your Dad's life that you are not sharing with us, so is very difficult to offer solid thoughts as to why he would choose a woman like this. Bottom line is he is your Dad and you can be there if he needs or wants to talk with you, but you cannot tell him what to do.
2006-09-05 19:49:25 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the saying that "Love is blind"? Since she is your step-mom, he will think that you are just trying to interfere and there is the possibility you two will have a falling out.
Sadly, he will find out but probably when it is too late.
I say go with your heart. You love him and you only want what's best for him. He would feel the same way if it were you. He probably already knows and is turning a blind eye to it.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-05 19:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by bonjovigroupie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but there is nothing you can do. Don't waste your time or breath. Been there, Done That....... and she is laughing at you for even trying.
All I can say is, leave him alone about it and just love him as always, try to be nice to her for his benefit and for your family, because if you aren't you may end up in my shoes. I don't even know where my dad is and I haven't spoken to him in 18 years. It's very sad... all you can do is PRAY!!!!!!! pray, pray, pray... GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-05 21:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by chulita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your leaving to come live with me and won't be back until the crack head hore (deliberate misspelling) is gone!
I'll certainly promise no crack head hores (still deliberately misspelled) in our house!
2006-09-05 20:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, you'll force your dad to choose, and he's going to choose her. If what you say is true, he'll realize it soon enough. That's when he'll need you to be there for him....and NOT to tell him "I told you so." He'll be hurt enough. Be in his corner.
2006-09-05 19:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how u truely feel..your his child and you should be able talk to ur parents about anything.Be straight forward and good luck
2006-09-05 19:57:56 · answer #9 · answered by digibluh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on him, get your step-mom to show her true self(the crack head that she is)
2006-09-05 19:50:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋