should i allow my daughter to see my mother n law when i know she has a problem with me?
2006-09-05 12:27:23 · 35 answers · asked by sexy sultry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mother in law doesn't really like me, but I'll let her see her grandchildren when I have them.
2006-09-05 12:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by sarah_lynn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is important that your daughter have a relationship with her grandmother because it is her family and her history. It is also important for your daughter to see that you react appropriately toward the mother in law, even though she may not act well towards you. It will teach her the right way to act, and show her that YOU are the mature adult. Also try not to make it about you, just leave it as their relationship and no more.
You will be the winner here no matter what. I don't know how old your daughter is, but children are very perceptive about what is really going on. She will see you being the best parent you can be, and she will want to be just like YOU not the mother in law.
Good luck.
2006-09-05 12:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by just me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that's is her grand daughter and just because u and Ur mother-in -law do not get alone u shouldn't keep Ur daughter from seeing her
U don't have to go see her let Ur daughter spend time with her grand mother.
And just as respect thing u and ur mother-in law should try to put aside ur dislike for each other when ur daughter is around. If she see or sense u and her grandmother don't like each that could make her feel she did something wrong and may want to ask questions( r u ready to answer)
2006-09-05 16:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my grandmother died, one of the grandkids was really torn up, talking nonstop about how wonderful Gramma was, and carrying on. She wanted my mom to get involved and agree, but my mother couldn't. She and Gramma certainly had their moments, over the years. Mom smiled and said, "Gramma was your grandmother, but she was my mother-in-law." My cousin gave her a funny look, and said, "Yeah, I guess I don't feel the same way about my mother-in-law as my kids feel about their grandmother."
Let your daughter see her grandmother. Your relationship with your in-laws is nothing like your child's relationship with those people.
But, keep in mind some criteria that you'll use to decide when to limit or cease contact. If she starts teaching the kids a lot of inappropriate things, and it's starting to be a problem, then it's probably time to give up. But if the relationship is healthy, then try to ignore the fact that you two don't get along. If you can't stand to go with your daughter, have her father do the job, or his sister that you like and trust, or whatever. Conveniently be busy when they get together. Or just suck it up and live through it, whatever it takes. Try to let your daughter know her family without having to know the family battles, for a little while longer.
2006-09-05 12:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by Gen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one. She should be allowed to see her grandmother but I'd want to have it out with the mother in law as to why she doesn't like you. Is she the type of person who would say nasty things about you to your daughter?
You need to know that your daughter is going into a healthy place without any hostility.
2006-09-05 12:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she is your daughter's grandma. Don't bring your daughter into this problem between you and your mother-n-law. Besides just because your mother-n-law has a problem with you doesn't mean she wouldn't be a good and loving grandma to your daughter. If you show your MIL that you are the bigger person here, it may change her mind.
2006-09-05 12:31:38 · answer #6 · answered by Olivia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this problem.. and in the end I won my mother-in-law over and the whole family.. yes by all means let your daughter see her grandmother.. and try very hard to try to make amends.. It is not easy for families to let their children go... they love them.. they gave birth and some day you will have that problem.. when your child dates someone that you don't like.. but... you can show your mother-in-law that you are not the bad guy... It took years for me to do this.. but I kept on trying.. in the end.. I was the one who had to take care of her when she was dying from cancer.. and I took very good care of her.. she learned finally that I was not the bad guy..and the rest of the family has accepted me every since.. you can catch more flies with honey ....
Good Luck... :)
2006-09-05 12:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by ghill4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. She has a problem with you, not your daughter, right?
I have a similar situation. My mother and I have major issues with each other, and we're not exactly close. But she sees my daughter at least one day a week.
I shouldn't punish my daughter and deprive her of a relationship with my mother just because I don't like my mother very much. That's not fair to my daughter.
2006-09-05 12:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother in law has a problem with me too. I do allow the children to see her but they are old enough (19 and 20) to decide themselves whether or not they want to go to see her.
2006-09-05 12:30:24 · answer #9 · answered by goodbye 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, be the adult here. Your daughter and mother in law have a different relationship than you and her. And don't down talk your mother in law in front of your daughter either.
2006-09-05 12:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by jenny in ohio 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd try to settle you differences with the mother n law..she is you daughter's grandmother and a older figure in a childs life is important.
2006-09-05 12:31:03 · answer #11 · answered by digibluh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋