Should I tell his girlfriend?

Question

my Ex sent me about 23 text messages this past weekend (over the course of 2 hours) basically begging me to have sex with him . He has a girlfriend (whom I have met and I think is very nice) and I have a boyfriend (and he knows that). i spent the entire 2 hours telling him no, i wasnt interested. i told my boyfriend and he trusts me not to do anything. But i am wondering if I should tell the Ex's girlfriend that he propositioned me (they have been dating for 2 years and have a house together, among other costly things). should I stay silent, or should i descreetly inform her? any feedback would be much appreciated! thanks in advance everyone!

Answer 1

I've been on both sides, unfortunately. First, make sure he was not blind drunk or high during those two hours and thus was acting irrationally. If he was in his right mind and not under the influence, it strikes me as significant that he asked to "have sex" with you, and not "getting back together". Here's why this is significant.

If he wanted to "get back together", I would encourage him to get personal or couples counseling (along with his current mate). Make it clear that you two reconciling is not an option and never will be an option. Then drop the matter.

However, he merely wanted to "have sex" with you. I would tell him very clearly that he should have a very frank discussion with his current girlfriend about the current and future state of their relationship. If he does not, you need to tell him that you will inform her of his indiscretion since she deserves to know that she is jeopardizing her emotional and financial future with someone who does not respect her or their relationship.

Answer 2

If the situation were reversed, what would you do?
Your x bf is a weirdo and his current girlfriend deserves better. Why don't you tell your xbf that you're going to tell his gf that he's been sending you these txt msgs. Save the txt msgs for evidence. That way he won't be surprised when it happens - at least give the scumbag that liberty (lessen the karmic blow).
He needs to learn a lesson in this life about not being such a dumb scumbag and maybe you're the person who needs to teach it to him. Otherwise, he's going to try this out on someone else and the poor girl is going to be none the wiser and may end up with an STD or worse still marry this looser and have him cheat on her for the rest of her life. EEK!

Answer 3

For sure!!!Forward them so that she can see for herself the date and times the messages were sent to you. She may be waiting for something like this to break off an already failing relationship, or she will be awakened to what kind of guy she is trying to build a future with. He also will know that you have moved on and want to respect your current boyfriend and he should be doing the same. Forget the romance and heartache and tears they may occur, you just may be saving her from serious sexual diseases if he has propositioned others and gained their affections!!! Just do it!!!

Answer 4

I don't know why you spent that much time telling him no. You should have ended the correspondence or at least not encouraged the texting anymore. I would stay out of his affairs with his girlfriend. You must have had a good reason for him being you ex. Why would you want to talk with him anyway?

Answer 5

Unfortunately, you should not. He can deny the whole situation. He could say that he was bored, and it was all a joke (that is if you saved the text messages). It is a sad thing. I would venture to say you are not the first person that he has propositioned, or actually had sex with. He will eventually be exposed for the dog that he is.

Answer 6

Wow, a real toughie. I do not envy you.
If I were you though, I would look at this from the point of view of short term vs. long term. In the short term, not telling her would make things a whole lot easier for everyone, but in the long term, her life may be a mess because of it. I would tell her. I would tell her because the more time goes by, the harder the (possible) separation could be.
If you were her, wouldn't you want to know? I would.

Answer 7

I know many people would disagree with me... but I know if I was in her shoes, I'd want to know about it. Do you have proof to show her what he did? She might not believe you if you don't and then you'd have a potentially big problem to deal with. She would probably find out eventually and the sooner she knows, the better. It sounds like you think she's a nice girl and she doesn't need to be screwed around on. You'd be doing her a huge favor.

Answer 8

If you are through with this guy, then shut him out of your life. Why still accommodate him if you are down and out with him. Or are you? Your boyfriend appears a very nice guy. Meanwhile, what's the idea behind informing your ex new gail friend. Stay focused.

Answer 9

If you know this girl very well and consider her as your friend then i think you should tell her.Cause that is so not right that your ex is asking you that and i would tell her cause this can ruining their relationship. And you never kno if in the near future he might be cheating on her. So might as well stop it now.

Answer 10

i would definitely tell her because if he is asking you he isn't afraid to ask others either! What i would do is invite them somewhere with you and show her the text messages and let her ask him in front of you so he cant deny it and she will believe you because when you love someone you try everything you can to not believe that he/she would do that to you even if you know that's the way they are....I just wouldn't want her accusing you of starting it see what im saying?