3 year olds that just wont listen!!!?

Question

I have tried countless things to try and get my 3 year old child to listen, including time outs and taking away priveledges, but nothing seems to be working. I am starting to feel like she is controlling me rather than me having the control. i was wondering if any other parents out there are experiencing a similar situation or have already gone through this your suggestions would be very helpful thank you.

Answer 1

3 year old's are prone to not listening. Give it time, keep up with the reward/punishment for behavior. If you stop, it will make it so much harder to get your child's behavior to change. You can also try changing the way you dole out the punishment. By not allowing your child to do something they want to do when they aren't listening, and rewarding them wih something they want to do when they listen it shows the child that proper behavior gives them a positive experience whereas improper behavior gives them an negative experience. Many children pick up on this after a few punishments/rewards and keep the behavior for awhile. You just have to keep enforcing the rules indefinately.

Answer 2

Typical 3 year old behavior. She is testing the waters--like all kids do. She wants independence--which all little kids go through. The best advice I can give you is to be consistent--so she knows very clearly what she can and can not get away with. Take away priviledges---no matter how much she screams and yells about it. If they aren't working you need to ask yoursel--"Does she really care aobut this if it is taken away?" If not, you are taking the wrong priviledges away from her. Consistency is key. She needs to learn that there are consequences for her actions. Talk to her in a stern, but calm voice. If you yell, she learns to yell as well.

Also, "catch her being good"--when she is doing her job praise her for it so she understands what kind of rewards go with expected behaviors. Perhpas she has a sticker chart so she can earn stickers for a reward--like time alone with you playing a game or something. I wouldn't make it too many stickers--she is young. 5 to start perhaps.

It will take time, and it may get worse before it gets better--and it will definitely tire you out, but it is worth it in the end. You need to reestablish control. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

My son is 2 1/2 and he is so hard to control. He is very stubborn, strong willed and high energy. He actually makes me cry (I am also pregnant so very emotional).

I do see some changes lately, since we have been consistent and tough. If he does something he is not supposed to do he gets the time out for 2 minutes with the timer.

We also have tried not to yell at him as much, basically worked on our selves and our level of patience. We didn't want to show him that we lose control ourselves.

Also once he misbehaves when we are out somewhere, I immediately leave. Although this is very difficult to do because I may have shoppign to do or I have just left the house, it is REALLY effective.

Oh and when you take her favorite toy away DO NOT give it back. Maybe a few hours or days later you give it backa nd explain why you took it away.

Good luck.

Answer 4

If all that doesn't work, you may have to resort to the old fashioned spanking. I know to some it is a dirty word, but it does work. You child can tell when you really mean things or not, and just how to push you buttons. Horrible 3's come right after the Terrible 2's. Remember, You Are The Adult Here. Don't show weakness or they will take advantage of it.

Answer 5

My son is turning 3 in October, Im having listening issues with him. What is working is getting down on his level, making him look at me and telling him in a stern voice what I expect. If he does not do what I told him to, I either give a consequence and start counting to 5 (when I reach 5 the consequence is played out) or physically move him to where he should be. I try very hard not to ask him to do something more then once. If kids know you will keep asking, they will keep ignoring you.

Answer 6

You are not alone.. I have a 5 year old who trys to take control of me. She always YELLS and gives me a headache. She hates to listen and is always agrevating my other girls. She just will not sit and be quiet for 4 minutes.. I have problems getting this under control also. Sometimes I just want to give up..hang in there, and remember she is only child..

I make mine stand in the corner with no tv on or anything she can watch.. I also have to sit there and watch her because she will just walk out of the corner like she dont care.

I hope it gets better, good luck to you.

Answer 7

Be consistent in your time outs, discipline. If you're not, he'll be confused as to when he can get away with something and when he can't. Also, I hear many parents make threats that they have no intention of following through on ("If you don't stop, you won't go to Disney with us" - What are you going to do?-Cancel your family vacation? ?) Then the child learns not to believe you. One other thing: don't get sucked into arguing with your toddler. It's easy to get frustrated and fall into that trap. When your upset or frustrated with your daughter, remain calm and just reiterate what you want her to do. If she doesn't comply, tell her you'll help her, then help her to do it hand over hand if necessary. You can give her a choice of doing it by herself, or you'll help her. Either way, it gets done. Don't give her negative attention if she tantrums or acts up. Sometimes children act out for attention, even if it's negative attention. I work with children with behavior problems. These techniques are quite effective even for children who don't have behavior problems. Good luck.

Answer 8

There is a simple secret, that all the best childcare providers know. It works in almost every situation with every child. You give them a choice. They can either do this, or this. Which one do you pick. You will be suprised how effective this is. Another method is, if you want him to pick up his toys, you say its clean up time. When you're finished, you can have a snack, or watch t.v. which do you pick? When he picks one, then you say okay, lets hurry and clean up so you can do that. His focus is on picking one of the two choices, not the cleaning.

Answer 9

Be patient and be repetitive. Keep up with your normal disipiline and all will be well - eventually. Three year olds are just very curious and all that exploring at age two has led them to the knowledge that they are a person too and they know you and how to push your buttons. Therefor they keep chugging along at a more frustrating speed trying in their own way to say "See I can do this!". Take it from me. I had twins and they doubled up.

Answer 10

I have the same exact problem with my 3 year old son and no matter what I do he doesn't listen the only thing that works for me is his father!!! If I say "daddy" everything stops!!! Truth is I don't know what to do with him myself and sometimes I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out!! I find that when I can't use daddy because he isn't home and I have tried everything else and he still doesn't listen I pull down his pants and give him a good wack and that calms him down. At that age they are horrible!!! They have such mouths on them at least mine does. I actually hate the word "no"!!! Good Luck!!!