me and my mom arent very close but i want to get close to her? how! i moved out of her house a little over 2 years ago and i want to have a new relationship with her but what do i need to do to help it?
2006-09-05 11:33:58 · 20 answers · asked by boicarazi12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I had the same problem with the relationship between me and my mom. What I would recommend is start by involving her in your life. Tell her whats going on with you and let her know that you want to share the details with her. Second, call her up just to find out how she's doing. If she thinks that you're are making an effort then that will go a looong way. Good luck with everything, I know how hard it can be!!
2006-09-05 11:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something nice for her or buy her something nice that is based on a happy memory that you guys have together
While she's fawning over the nice thing you did (or bought) tell her about the memory that sparked the occasion. This won't create an instantly good relationship, but it's a great step in the right direction.
Remember, it takes time to get close to someone again--and that's okay.
2006-09-05 18:40:56 · answer #2 · answered by HyperBeauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive her for everything she ever did that you didn't like.
Consider this, your mom is a person just like you trying to do what is right, raise a kid, make good choices and all that stuff we all do. Nobody makes the right decision all the time, but hopefully she did her best. She doesn't have all the answers.
Try to be her friend. Be patient. Send her a card, call her for no reason and pretty soon you will get closer to her.
2006-09-05 19:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on your kind of mum!
Try and find out 'what kind' of mum you have. Does she respond best to your words/ talking/ recollections of memories? Does she warm more to you if you *DO* stuff for her like buy her flowers, a little gift, choccies, a card. Does she melt if you just give her a big scrummy hug or offer to rub her shoulders (even if for you, that feels odd!!)
We are all made different and we all respond to different things. The key to establishing a more mature relationship with your mum is to to :
1) find out more about WHO she is (clue - if she is ok about this, start to subtley ask her what she was like as a child, her relationships with her own family and friend etc, what was she like as she grew up etc)
2) find out HOW she best responds to people (i.e. my mum loves to talk and talk and talk - I dont find that that approach works for me and my problems, but it does for her. Although I prefer less words! I am 34 now and I am happy to just let her talk if that makes her feel better).
3) Find out what her perception is of you as a person. Sometimes mums have views about us that aren't really 'true'. i.e. they tell us more about them, rather than us!! Try and find out from her what her 'whole view' is of you as her child. Then ask her what you could do for you both to be closer. She might struggle with this, but even if you dont get a straight answer, you have done the MOST IMPORTANT thing ever and put your desire to be close to your mum at the top of your priority list. If your mum can't reach you half-way, then thats really sad - but you will have made the effort - and thats more than a lot of people do!
2006-09-05 19:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by zuffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not Mom loves you so give her a call and tell her you love her too and you would like to try to bring your lifes closer. The best way to get anything done is to take the straight forward approach.
2006-09-05 18:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by LaBoner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telephone call, invitation to go out to lunch, take a long liesurely drive together, tell her anything positive about her & your relationship you can honestly say, like pleasant memories of various times in your lives together. Hold her hand. Moms and daughters can have a really special, beautiful relationship, friendship. My sister & mom are wonderful together, they love each other and share that special bond. As nice as it is to see it and experience it, I fade out of the picture so they can enjoy their time together. Have a wonderful time!
2006-09-05 18:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by jxt299 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell her you love her so much and want to spend more time with her. Trust me my mom passed away this passed December and I thank God that the last year of her life we were together closer then ever. You never know when it is their time to go...so please do not wait any longer she will be thrilled that you love her so much. and if it is hard for you to talk to her write her a letter and let her know you miss her.
good luck!
2006-09-05 18:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by Allybaba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you start by asking her if she would like to go out for a coffee/or pop with you on a saturday??? Just spending some time with her would probably make her day. You probably don't know it, but, your mom probably missses you too!!! Good Luck.
2006-09-05 19:31:09 · answer #8 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get close to your mom, go to the movies,play sports with her. Do everything you can. If that dont work then try some counsoling. That really deos work.
good luck
2006-09-05 18:50:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out for a light bite-and a walk around the town for some ice cream-for some girl talk-im the beach bum -so we use to take a walk on the shore! if the beach is near by try it!*sometimes you just need to accept them for what they are-it takes time to learn that
2006-09-05 18:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋