Yes, I am 20 and I am a virgin... still
Is it that I am just THAT unattractive, and will never get any?... no absolutely not. Im a fraternity guy, intelligent, in college, and I've had oppurtunities to make a move where I have either been too afraid, too drunk, or too damn naive to actually "go for it".
So this question pertains to all the guys who are in my situation, and hopefully some ladies can help. What needs to be done to change this? There is no simple answer as it's not that we have too high of standards, nor is it that we are unattractive. The very very few guys in my situation are here because we don't know what to do anymore. Speaking to a random girl who seems pretty is too weird for us, and we're too damn busy to go out there and meet new girls. So how exactly, do we build up the courage and find the right time to have sex for the first time? Do we tell the girl that we are a virgin or do we try to hide it? Suggestions and help please for us "Nice Guys"
2006-09-05 11:30:42 · 7 answers · asked by benh316 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, would a girl be scared off if they found out I was a virgin at my age? It seems unnatural for a guy to be so at 20 and everyday it gets harder to change it... What can be done?
2006-09-05 11:31:42 · update #1
I think that you are thinking way too hard. That said, I remember how important it was to lose it at the time. The answer kind of depends if you are looking simply to hook up or if you are looking for a relationship. Some girls like being the first you are with. If you just want to lose your virginity, you could probably lower your standards and lose it pretty quickly. However, you probably want quality. I suggest that you try to meet a girl and date her. Don't make having sex the only thing that matters. If sex is the only thing that you are after, most women will see right through it and kick you to the curb (unless that is what they are after too, then by all means, go for it). Take her out and follow her cues.
On a side note, most "nice guys" who have no luck with woman, tend to expect girls to just know that they are nice guys instead of actually making the effort to flirt with them. Girls like attention and many nice guys are too shy or not aggressive enough. Girls like attention, look at the ahole who seems to always have women. Is it because he is a nice guy? No, it is because he had the courage to risk rejection and go talk to the girl.
Good luck.
2006-09-05 11:44:21 · answer #1 · answered by mildmanneredclarkkent64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't tell girls you are a virgin. I'm sure many girls will give you opposite advice and tell you that being a virgin is great and they respect you for that. however, this will definitely turn them off. girls want a guy that is in demand. if you're still on the sidelines, girls will assume there is something wrong with you.
as for meeting girls, there's no easy answer for your situation. however, the general issue you need to change is that you need to try to stop being so nice to girls. as a nice guy myself, from my experience, being a nice guy kills your chances at dating girls. also, remember that for many people, being "nice" isn't that you care so much for other people but rather you are afraid of offending people. you need to develop confidence and just take charge rather than trying to be nice to everyone. i think thats why nice guys finish last, girls like assertiveness. good luck.
2006-09-05 11:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by richard457 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i'am a 31 yrs old virgin! its not that i ain't had opertunity to lose it! because i have! i have just said no! I am very shy and its hard for me to make a move on a guy! and the ones that have come on to me have not tempted me! so anyhow to answer your question no as a woman i would not be scared off by you being a virgin at your age! i think its sweet that you have hung on to it! and i think you should wait till you find your special someone! that is what i'am doing! and i would tell the girl that you are one i wouldn;t try to hide it! I have been upfront with some guys and they really thought it was sweet that i was one and that they could possably be my first!
2006-09-05 11:39:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly, I think that a guy who is still a virgin at 20 has a good head on his shoulders and self-respect and respect for girls. I say, wait til you're married. Don't hide it from girls. I think it's hot when a guy respects himself enough to wait :)
2006-09-05 11:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by Yeah it's me................ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some girls just want a "nice guy" so go for it and tell them.
2006-09-05 11:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
do it when its right, with the right person. if for you what is right is the first girl you find, go for it. but i really wouldn't worry as much as you are. lots of girls would love to be your first
2006-09-05 11:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by Val 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would not tell thembut u dont NEED to so wai untill u get in a good relationship
2006-09-05 11:37:22 · answer #7 · answered by ya watever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋