I'm a mother of three (a 13 year old boy, 8 year old boy, and 5 year old girl). My 8 year old really didn't like Hebrew School. But then when he went this year, he started to become orthodox. But he is trying to change my whole family into becoming an orthodox family. He is making us buy Kosher meat and have Shabbat (I don't mind that but even on vacation, he insisted on it), he wants to walk on Shabbat, and he thinks that if he doesn't do all of this he will be a bad boy. This is what his Hebrew teacher said to him (not in those exact words). His Hebrew teacher is also orthodox.
But my family is conservative, and we want some Judiasm in our house, but not this much. This Hebrew teacher basically said that you have to do this and that or you're a bad boy. She even said "you can go home and tell your parents you can miss 4 days of school for Passover", and that's the parent's choice (he goes to a public school). I was wondering if anyone can think of anything I can do to stop this.
2006-09-05 11:23:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Also, my husband is a little more religious than me. He is still conservative though. My son will values his opinion much more than mine, so I want my husband to say something, but he won't. I don't know why (maybe he likes what my son is doing, but I'm not sure), but I think if he says that my son should be conservative, he might listen.
Thank you so much!
2006-09-05 11:26:18 · update #1
At th erisk of being offensive either;
Tell him that in your house he lives by your rules
Move school
Tell the teacher to back off or you'll put her head through a wall
2006-09-05 11:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, let me say that your son putting a high value on his faith needs to be commended for this day and age. That said, have you tried to talk to him? Tell him that you really admire the path that he has chosen for himself but that it is not your path. You will continue to support him, but for him to remember that you are more conservative then he is choosing to be . As for your husband, his responce sounds typical. Unless the house is on fire or it directly effect his ability to breath it is really "nothing to worry about". As for him taking off from school....remind his Hebrew teacher that the LAW is a parent MUST send their children to school. This is not an option,. Plus there can be some serious fines, including jail if you don't respect the law. Your son should only miss school when he is so sick he can't think or he will contaminate others. Taking him out of school when he is not sick is only opening the doors to a road better not traveled. Plus, try praying ask God to speak to your heart and give you the wisdom to use the correct words when speaking to your son on this subject. Best wishes,,,,
2006-09-06 23:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by LAUSDDISTRICT8MOMOFTHREE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just wondering who is in charge in your household. You state that your 8 years old MAKES you buy certain foods. How can you let your 8 year old make you do anything. He is 8. You're his parent. I have two boys and a third child on the way. They certainly don't make us do anything. They may have requests but, as the parent, I have the option to deny those requests. You need to sit your son down and have a serious talk with him. Explain your views. Explain why you're conservative but not orthodox. Then I'd have a serious talk with that teacher.
2006-09-05 22:28:34 · answer #3 · answered by Amelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to the teacher and her superiors. She's way out of line in her actions. Get your son out of her class, regardless of how receptive the school seems to be regarding your concerns.
While it may sound harsh, you're going to have it lay down the law for your son. Explain to him that you will not be making any concessions based on what he's learning in Hebrew school. When he's older and living in his own house, he'll make all the rules and decisions, but for now he must follow yours.
As for your husband - ask him point blank why he refuses to speak to your son about this. It won't help your cause if your son senses a lack of solidarity between you and your husband. If, as you suggested, your husband is pleased with what your son is doing, you could be in for bigger trouble just around the corner if you don't nip it in the bud now.
2006-09-05 20:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by nyboxers73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Hebrew teacher has no right to undermine your parental authority. Is it possible to find another one? If not, you need to let your son know who is the boss in your house. (it's not him!) Tell him what traditions you will and will not observe in your house. Assure him he is not a bad boy for doing what his parents tell him to do - I would have a chat with the teacher about that one. Good luck!
2006-09-06 12:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing I am having the most trouble with is why you would let an 8 year old child decide how the rest of the family is going to live. It must be nice for him to have so much power.
In a way, I think its great that your son is so compassionate about something, but it should in no way affect the rest of your family lives. Tell him that he is welcome to observe his faith and that you support him 100%, but that the rest of you will be living the way you want to - not the way he wants you to.
2006-09-07 16:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son sounds like a very special boy to me. Rather than fighting him, support him. Even if he seems to be choosing a lifestlye a little different than yours, you will still have a close and loving family relationship. And take him seriously.
I have experience with this type of situation. If you would be interested in speaking to me you can email me at jeffreyakatz@sbcglobal.net. And good luck! :)
2006-09-07 15:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by supcch063 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, confront the teacher. Your son has a right to believe what he wants, but the teacher has no right to tell him right from wrong on these type of things.
2006-09-05 18:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm a kid so I know what you should do.You have to destact him from all the Shabbat talk.But make sure yor don't make him forget about his religion.*You could also just tell his teacher to slow down on the Shabbat stuff.I guarentee you this will work!
2006-09-05 18:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by fantuh c ` 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL i WOULD REPORT HIS TEACHER SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT I WOULD CHANGE HIS TEACHER OR TAKE HIM OUT OF THAT SCHOOL YOUR SON PROBABLY THINKS IF HE DOESN'T FOLLOW HER DIRECTIONS THERE WILL BE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES I WOULD MAKE HIS TEACHER TELL HIM SHE WAS WRONG TO INTERFERE AND HE'S NOT GOING TO BE A BAD BOY
2006-09-05 18:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by freckleface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋