Im a very nice guy. Very smart and a swimmer who holds varsity records in my school. Im pretty shy though. What i dont get is why are girls into the hunks like the football players. The girls always complain how their boyfriends are all depressed when they lose a football game and take it out on them. Yet they still are more attracted to them. Also, where I work (the waterpark) the girls are into these two dumbass obnoxious stupid guys. I just dont get it. One of the obnoxious guys got a hold of this one girl yesterday and was holding her down on the ground. It was obvious that she was getting hurt, but he kept laughing. Then today she had marks on her arms but she was still talking to him. I just dont get it. Im nice, smart, and very sincere. Why are girls not into me?
2006-09-05 09:58:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a 36 yo "nice guy" I can answer this, though it's complicated. At younger ages (high school especially), girls are looking for flash over substance. The star quarterback, the long-haired band guy, the misunderstood "bad boy". It's about excitement, confidence and an odd trait that women have where they believe that they (and only they) can "change" this guy. Tame him, if you will. You have things together & therefore don't present a "challenge" to them.
As for why they are like this, I can't tell you. What I can tell you is that not all girls are like this, though I think that they universally gravitate toward confidence. You don't have to be cocky or an a**, but being self-assured seems to be something they respect even after their jock/rebel/bad boy-fetish wears off (usually around 25). Another thing that's a big attractor is a good sense of humor.
Advice? 1st, find those girls who don't like being treated like crap. They're likely not to be the real popular ones because they don't care about the popularity junk (which, btw is totally irrelevant once you escape high school). Yeah, you won't be dating a cheerleader, but that's not as important as it seems either. Nice girl for a nice guy and you're set as long as you really care about the person vs. the "face/body". If you're looking for a "trophy", then I'm afraid you're going to lose to the jerks every time. That's just the way it works.
My to-be wife was never popular in high school, but she's not only beautiful but (more importantly) a great person. The idiots who went chasing empty-headed cheerleaders in high school missed a real gem, and I'm happy to say that this nice guy didn't finish anywhere near last despite not dating more than 2x during my entire high school years (and for 2 weeks each girl).
Find a girl who you think you could be friends with (not an existing friend... that's a whole separate topic) and be confident when you approach her. Approach her by herself (not with a ton of her friends around) and just ask her to go & do something; movie, whatever. If she says no, no big deal. You try again with someone else. Getting shot down is painful, but NEVER fatal -- trust me, I know. The confidence of saying "no big deal" when that happens is just the sort of confidence girls will respond to, even if it takes a bunch of no's to find the one who will. Practice that if nothing else, and for God's sake don't beat yourself up over the rejections. That will make things worse. As your confidence goes down the toilet that'll just drive the girls away more.
Hth & good luck with it!
2006-09-05 10:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by chaoticgoodknight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women want security and having a "big strong man" apparently fits the description...
All I can say is be yourself bro, as I have had the same problem as you. Women will eventually smarten up and realize that the "big jocks" are so high school and early college and eventually they will grow up and come running to you.
I suggest putting yourself out there more and having some fun because if you can show that you can give these ladies all that the big jock can give them.... and respect and love besides, than you'll never have to worry again. Unfortunately while we are younger, women will always rush to the dumbasses as if it's the natural digression of humanity. Such as life. Just hold in there man and you'll start pulling all of the ladies.
Hope this made you feel better
2006-09-05 10:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by benh316 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls are attracted to the alpha male... like it is with all other animals. (Not that humans are animals, some are, though). Animals always choose the strongest male to mate with. And most girls look for a guy who can "protect" them when needed. ANdy they always say how they want a nice guy, but they end up dating jerks anyway. It was the same case with me. It was like I loved being treated like ****. They automacially think that huge muscles and whatnot means that he'll protect you when needed. But once they realize that they have little in common, that he's more interested in toning his abs then listening to how her day was or carrying a solid conversation, they realize that hunks or whatever, good looks are just good looks. Doesn't mean that he'll treat you like the Queen you are or that you even share the same interests. And THAT"S when they settle for the sweet, intelligent male.
2016-03-26 23:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, most of the high school age girls are interested in the "jocks" because of the instinct of "survival of the fittest" It won't be for quite some time that they will realize that also means the mentally fit, as well as the morally fit. Give it time.
or, you can go and try to find yourself a true-to-the-path pagan. That would end the problem right there.
2006-09-05 10:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by PaganAndProud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno why girls in your school don't seem to be into you, but you sound like a guy I'd be interested in. I never once have been attracted to football players or guys who are hunks. I more look for guys who are a little more average looking but have a good personality. You sound fine to me, there must just be a lotta dumb girls at your school.
Also, shy guys are great (in my opinion)
2006-09-05 10:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start having more confidence in yourself. People can sense confidence radiating off someone. Nobody can like someone that does not even like themsleves! Just talk and act with confidence and the rest will surely come together for you! Good Luck!
2006-09-05 10:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by Husker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude those girls are dumb.. im not into hunks im into guys that are nice to me and arent afraid to speak the problem face to face if i dident have the nicest boyfriend anyone could ask for i would truly go out with you
2006-09-05 10:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by PINKY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess its for the same reason that guys are into girls with big boobs, but they are just stereo types, i am into guys that respect me, and willl protect me, and i am lucky to have found that
i think you should just have more confidence in yourself, you seem like a really nice guy. most girls love that, and if they dont thats really shallow
2006-09-06 10:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are into hunks for the same reason that guys are into lookers.
It's a turn on.
2006-09-05 10:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree females always like the wrong guys.
2006-09-05 10:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋