2006-09-05 09:55:49 · 16 answers · asked by john b 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Is she in any kind of treatment? Talk with her. Tell her the behaviors you see that concern/scare you. Ask her to get help. Give her information on how to get help. Be there for her. And lastly, make sure YOU have support.
AA http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/ is a good option, but a lot of people don't like the spiritual emphasis. Smart Recovery http://www.smartrecovery.org/ is a good alternative. Here's a link to do a therapist search. Be sure to look for one that specializes in addictions. http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
Good luck!
2006-09-05 10:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by EDtherapist 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, did your fiance tell you this? If someone else did, then you should make sure you discuss this with your fiance before doing anything. Second, has he/she saught treatment already? If so, then just ask what you can do to be a support.
You may want to attend a Al-anon meeting, which is a group of people who are freinds and family members of people who have drug/alcohol issues, so you can ask questions and get support for yourself.
2006-09-05 10:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by nobellykelly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
John, what do you mean "you just found out" - how long have you known her? Usually you can tell pretty quick if someone is an alcoholic. Whether she's an alcoholic or a heavy drinker, be supportive by going to AA meetings with her or find a church with a support group where she can get help. God bless!
2006-09-05 10:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you do depends on what she does. Does she admitt that she has a disease or not ? If not, there isn't anything you can do, period.
If she recognises that she is an alcholic, then take her to an A.A.
beginners meeting .. She may find her answers there ( I did ) . If she ( or he ) you didn't say, hasn't been to a meeting before,it can be an
intimadating experience, for about 1 minute ! Then you'll discover a room full of real friends who's only concerne is for your' recovery and happiness ... Trust me, I know ... good luck
2006-09-05 10:16:33 · answer #4 · answered by pocono58 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you just found out and she is your fiancee` that is your first big problem. At this stage, something so major should have been noticed already. You may want to post pone your wedding. Seek help, it may be able to be combined with your premarital counseling, because this is an issue that affects your relationship. But if you love her, stand by her and be firm about her getting help.
2006-09-05 10:02:36 · answer #5 · answered by Shanigirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't see how you could be engaged to someone and not know they were an alcoholic.
I would know. And I wouldn't put up with it. They'd stop drinking... or they'd be on their own.
I wish you the best of luck.
Remember 1 very important thing: You cannot change her. So if you stick with it, don't go in thinking you can.
2006-09-05 10:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by phrensied 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alcohlism is an inhereted trait. Even if your fiance is no longer drinking, your kids have a higher chance to be alcohlics.
You'll have to determine yourself how much you really love her and decide what to do.
2006-09-05 10:04:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mack L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him some help.If he refuses,don't marry him,because you don''t want to commit to being the wife of an alcoholic.
2006-09-05 09:58:33 · answer #8 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he/she doesn't seek help on his/her own, you cannot help. If you don't understand, go to an AL-ANON meeting. This is for family and friends of alcoholics and will explain al lot to you.
2006-09-05 10:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by diturtlelady2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get them help. You love them, so don't let something like this ruin your relationship.
Ask them what they would like to do to get help. Rehab is probably the best idea. Let them know that you are behind them 100% and you are willing to do whatever you can to help out.
I wish all the luck to you.
2006-09-05 10:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by laura.ispurple 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋