i thought we could be friends. but seems not. because he thinks i am giving mixed signals. why are men so egocentric? why would he think i am giving him the "come-on" just because i am being civil with him? is it better to cut all contact?
2006-09-05 09:44:34 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yea you should cut all contact from him for now.Maybe someday when he's mature enough you can be friends.You should let him come to you though when he's ready.
2006-09-05 09:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by mygrandparentsrthebestintheworld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't believe you are screwed up in the head nor do I believe he is egocentric. He obviously still has feelings for you, but you do not have feelings for him. This is probably why he feels he is getting mixed signals from you because you are calling him and talking to him and it reminds him of old times with you and like nothing has ever changed.......this is confusing him. So out of all fairness to him and yourself, you need to just cut the ties with him. If you don't he will just feel like you are stringing him along and giving him false hope.
2006-09-05 09:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,
My mother and father divorced ten years back or so, but my mama is reasonable enough to know it is decent to at least be civil with him because he is our father. But after a while my father mistook her kindness as wanting him and eventually blamed her for his mistakes saying things like "I thought me and you were getting back together and when I found out we weren't that's why I got back on crack." You know stuff like that. But what I'm saying is MOST men take the fact that you're civil with them and nice and that you may actually enjoy some of their personality to mean that you want them all over again. In most cases it's better to severe the ties, but if you really think you all have a good friendship and you want to save it then explain to him it's not like that. Or could it actually be like that and you just don't know yet. Another thing, if he does still like you then it'll never work, because he'll always be anticipating more than just friendship.
2006-09-05 09:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's because of the way that you two broke-up?, if it was a nasty separation then he May still be hurt.., on the other hand he probably still has feelings for you and wants you back but cant make heads or tails of his intentions based on your being '' civil '' with him. often there is no way to have a friendship with a former gf/bf because there is too much animosity there to remain friendly with feelings and not let emotions come into play. i think you should re-evaluate your standings with him and stay away from him in social situations if that's possible or just "stay the course" as president Bush says ( what a douschbag ! ) and be the bigger person, i think you'll like yourself better in the long run for this option.
2006-09-05 09:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by turtle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me. Most of the person answered you here not necessary mean they are in that situation! I am saying this because I was kinda like your ex before. My gf broke up with me too.
At this moment, yes you better not talking to him. You need to leave him alone so he can clam down and think clearer. After a month, you can contact him. He will either write you an email or letter saying sorry that he clam down and regreat of what he has done. He can be your friends now. Then, you should call him up to let him know you want to be his friend to (of course depends whether he treat u as a friend or still asking for something more).
Please forgive him that he is acting like this. He still loves and cares about you. What's wrong for loving you? At this moment, he is worried to lose you and lost. He doesn't know what he can do to win you back. So, he got frustrated...frustrated on himself. So, he would say something bad to get your attention. He will feel sorry about that later on. Please understand him. Try to remember. You care about him when you have feeling on him before right? Now even you don't have feeling on him anymore..doesn't mean you can treat him like a trash. So, please still respect him...respect him of showing how much he loves you.
2006-09-05 11:27:41 · answer #5 · answered by City hunter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's only normal to want to stay friends with an ex. i can see how they could get mixed signals, but thats why u need to explain and emphasis that you only want to be friends. if he is being mean and saying ur fcuked in the head, then dont talk to him as much. then once he asks why u stopped calling as much, tell him that you were just wanting to be friends and he was taking it the wrong way.. he'll eventually understand
2006-09-05 09:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by C-Baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i had that same problem with my x
we accepted the friendship and she will get jealous that i m seeing other girls
get mad that my life is good without her
then ask me so many question who am i stayin up late with
sending me pics of her
those r mix messages
now if u r not doing anything like or similar to this then u r not wrong but if u r then u r giving himmix signals
and its only right for him to be mad
what i did i cut all contact with my x because i couldnt take the yoyo games
yes i wanted her back but i didnt want to play all those foolish games
2006-09-05 09:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is happening to me also, i've separated from my hubby (my choice,) but for the sake of the kids, i cant be bitter and awful to him, so because i know he is taking this hard, i want to be nice to him, He visits them friday- Sunday and i'll make meals for them all while hes here, and if i smile or say something nice, he starts trying to get really close and thinks i'm signalling for something more.... I've told him i'm not attracted to him and i want to be friends, but he doesn't seem to understand, that i want to remain on good terms than on bad!!! it must be a man thing!!!
2006-09-05 09:52:09 · answer #8 · answered by Claire F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I tried the friends thing with my ex husband considering we have kids together... does not work he cusses me out one day and says he is sorry the next... cut contact and maybe he will come around and want to be friends
2006-09-06 04:09:31 · answer #9 · answered by Clints_wench 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to act and behave like an adult he does not.
Cut contact and let him act like a child, you get on with your own life and give the time and energy to your real friends.
Men....even if you are being friendly they assume you must want to bed them!
2006-09-05 09:47:59 · answer #10 · answered by Amazing Magenta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋