Dating Outside Muslim Religion?

Question

Is it permitted for a Muslim Women to date or marry a person outside of their religion?

Answer 1

Islam allows a very limited area of interfaith marriages, sanctioning the marriage of a Muslim man to a woman who follows a divine religion, i.e. Judaism or Christianity. It does not allow Muslim men to marry a follower of any other religion, or an agnostic or atheist woman. This is clear in the Qur’anic verse that says: “Today, all the good things of life have been made lawful to you. The food of those who were given revelations is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them. And the virtuous women from among the believers and the virtuous women from among those who were given revelations before you (are also lawful to you) when you give them their dowers, taking them in honest wedlock, not in fornication, nor as mistresses.” (5: 5)

Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, regardless of their faith or lack of it. This is also clear in the Qur’anic verse that says: “Believers! Whenever believing women come to you, to join your community, examine them, (although only) God is fully aware of their faith. If you have thus ascertained that they are believers, do not send them back to the unbelievers, since they are not lawful to them, nor those (unbelievers) are lawful to them. Nonetheless, you shall return to them whatever they have spent (on their wives by way of dower). You may marry them if you give them their dowers.” (60: 10)

Although this verse tackles a particular case of a woman who has embraced Islam while her husband remains a non-Muslim, it has a general implication that is applicable in all cases. Should such a woman emigrate to join a Muslim community, and she is proven on examination that she is a Muslim, she cannot be returned to her people who are unbelievers. Her non-Muslim husband is to be refunded any dower he had paid to her. She observes a waiting period in order to make sure whether she is pregnant or not. Once the waiting period is over, she may get married to a Muslim, because her adoption of the Islamic faith and her migration annul her earlier marriage to a non-Muslim.

We need to remember that this verse was revealed at a time when the Muslims in Madinah were bound by a peace treaty with the unbelievers, requiring the Muslims to return anyone from the Quraysh tribe who joined them declaring himself a Muslim. The Qur’anic verse overrides this commitment, making it inapplicable to women, because they are not lawful to remain married to non-believers. The only thing required of the Muslims was to refund the woman’s husband the dower he might have paid to his wife at the time of their marriage.

When we consider that Islam makes special allowances with regard to existing marriages, when the man and wife choose different religions, the case is more strict with regard to initiating such marriages. The verse quoted above states that “they (i.e. Muslim women) are not lawful to them (i.e. their erstwhile husbands), nor those (i.e. unbeliever erstwhile husbands) are lawful to them (i.e. Muslim women).” If on adopting Islam, a woman becomes unlawful to her husband who is not a Muslim, how can a Muslim woman imagine that she could become married to a man who is not a Muslim, even though the secular law in her country of residence sanctions such a marriage?

People may advance some arguments, or say that the man is very understanding and can give any commitment or guarantee that he would not object to his children being brought up as Muslims, or that his wife has complete freedom to practice her religion. But this is not the point. The point is that such a marriage is unlawful from the Islamic point of view. Hence, it does not take effect. The relationship would, therefore, remain one of adultery.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Concept of Marriage in Islam


There are several passages and verses in The Holy Qur'an regarding marriage and family that encourage Muslims to be married, if possible. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has even said that when a Muslim marries, he has fulfilled half of the religious devotion and duties and then he should take care of other half by being God-minded and aware of his obligations. [1]

Marraige is considered a religious duty in Islam and is enjoined upon all believers who can afford it. It provides a moral safeguard and legal means to develop relationship with the opposite sex and to extend the family. It is both solemn and sacred above physical terms. It is not only a contract between two persons committing themselves to eachother but it is a contract to which God Almighty is made the first Witness. It is made with every intention of making it permanent to the eternal success. Celibacy is NOT recommended either for Muslim men or women.

"The motivating cause of union - matrimonial and carnal - between the spouses is said to be love. This is a Qur'anic thesis that affirms the primacy of love as the cause of marriage, not simple reproduction. Nevertheless, the religious authorities, almost unanimously, interpret marriage as primarily reproductive in nature and as a means of perpetuating the species.

.....Islam views the carnal act as not merely the source of pleasure but also of as a source of "barakah" means that sexuality has apositive conotations and is not associated with sin,.."[2]

The following issues must be observed when a marriage based on Islamic priciples is desired[3]:

- Both parties should get familiarized sincerely with eachother without getting involved in immoral acts or crossing boundaries set by Islamic moral teachings. No party should attempt to deceive the other in this process.

- Woman should be chosen on the basis of their permanent values, such as, high morals, religious devotion, and not merely on her attractiveness or other mudane wealths. The Prophet is reported to have said that a woman is ordinarily sought as wife for her wealth, for her beauty, for the nobility of her stock, or for her religios qualities; but blessed and fortunate is he who chooses his mate for piety in preference to everything else. [4]

- Woman is encouraged to judge whether the man is actually worthy of her respect, love and capable of providing her happiness in the whole life. She should consider if her marriage to the man will be allow her to fulfill the duties of a wife wholeheartedly.

- Woman has a right to demand dowry (gift) from the man that she feel comfortable with. The man should meet her demands to show his willingness to undertake to responsibilities of married life and his readiness and capability to fulfill her justified needs.

- The consent of both man and woman is necessary condition for the marriage without which the marriage is not valid.

- The marraige ceremony should be made as publicly known as possible and should be celebrated in a joyful manner.

- The marriage ceremony should be held before atleast two adult witnesses from the community and should be registered in official documents.

- The maintenance of the wife and family is husband's duty. The marriage entitles her with these rights and imposes certain obligations upon both parties. Any property which belongs to her before or during the marriage, the man has no right to the wife's property during or after the marriage. This issue relieves the marriage of certain materialistic objectives and ensures the bond remain noble and beyond mundane greed.

The role of husband demands him to be bound by the promise to God to be kind and patient toward her; to keep her honorably in the marriage or otherwise free her from the martial bond honorably.[ Ref. Surah 2:229-232; 4:19]

The wife is expected to work toward the happiness and comfort of her family. Wife must be sincere toward the family and honest and loyal to her husband. She should not deliberately avoid conception against her husband's will [1]. Both spouses should keep eachother's honor and protect and gratify eachother with love.

When a marriage based on Islamic principles has irreconcilable differences or irreparable damage done to the mutual trust, then as a last resort to make the distasteful marriage end, divorce is applicable. Divorce has been defined by the Prophet as the most detestable of all lawful things in the sight of God Almighty. Scholars believe a final course must be followed before a divorce is made final[5]:

- Both parties involved should try to reconcile the difference, settle the disputes and solve the problems within themselves.

- If they fail to come to an agreement and solve their problems, then a person from husband's relations and the other one from wife's should arbitrate the situation.

- If both attempts fail and both parties agree, divorce can be applied. - If after a divorce, a reunion occurs, it will be regarded as a fresh marriage. However, there can be no more than two reunions. The third divorce is a final one. In that case, the only possibility is that the woman need to marry another man after "iddat" (varies from 3-12 monthly periods for diff. opinions; See Surah 2:228), consummate the marriage and get divorced and remarry the first husband again after "iddat." (See 2:30). It allows a man to be thoughtful and composed in such serious matters and the marriage with another man allows a woman to evaluate if there are other men better than her first husband that she would like to be married. There is no compulsion in her getting divorced from the second husband, if she likes him better than the first one. [See also 2:224-232; 4:34-35; 4:127-130]

Some relatives that cannot be joined in a marriage are described in Surah Nisaa 4:22-24.

The following are the positions of scholars and Islamic laws on marriages bewteen Muslims and non-Muslims:



Muslim Woman and non-Muslim Man:


..... And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun** till they believe in Allah alone and verily a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik, even though he pleases you....[2:221]

** Al-Mushrikun=>Pagans, idolators, polytheist and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah and in His messanger Prophet Muhammad SAW) - [[6]]

Islam considers the husband head-of-the-family and therefore requires that a Muslima cannot marry a non-Muslim because she will be under the authority of a non-muslim husband. He may prevent her from carrying out her religious obligations by either pressuring her or physically abusing her. But it is not the sole reason for imposing the restriction. The situation is considered very damaging for the woman to practise Islam afterwards and even worse for the kids in such marriages. There are NO conditions mentioned under which a Muslim woman IS allowed to get married or remain married to a non-Muslim husband after she has accepted Islam. Therefore, even if she has freedom to practise Islam after marriage, she is NOT allowed to enter into an inter-faith marriage.



Muslim Man and a non-Muslim Woman:


Marriage with Christians & Jews


The marriages between Muslim men and CERTAIN non-Muslim women is allowed. However, certain restricitions exist on such marriages, especially if they occur in non-Muslim lands where Islamic law and religion is not prevailing.

Here I am translating the "fatwaa" from Maulana Muhammad Yousuf Ludhianvi, a well-known Muslim scholar from Pakistan, answering a question regarding the shar'aii position of marriages in the US with non-Muslim women. This question was asked by a Pakistani Muslim, living in the US, and it appeared in Maulana's column that is published every Friday in a daily newspaper, "Jang". He interprets the Islamic law as following:

1- Non-Muslim women, to whom Muslim men can marry, are the women from Christian and Jewish religions who are residents of "Daar-ul-Islam****" nations where Islamic law prevails) and who are thereby called, "Dhi'mmi" (those who give Jazzia instead of Zakaat in an Islamic state??), but NOT the residents of "dar al-kufr" (where the kuffar or non-Islamic rule exist). To these women, marriage is allowed but is "mukrooh tanzihi." (I can't translate it properly)

2- With Christian or Jewish women, who are resident of "dar a-harb"****, the nikah (the marriage contract) will be valid, but will be a "mukrooh Tahrimi" (worse than tanzihi) situation. The act which is "mukrooh tarhimi" is so close to "haraam" (not permissible at all) that it is ALMOST "haraam" and is "na'jaiz" ie. not legal. The man involved will be responsible for committing an act which is so close to a state of "sin".

**** Victor Danner describes "Dar al-Islam" as : the House of Islam, or the Islamic world; the Islamic community, where submission to the Divine Will reigns; Opposed to dar- al-harb ( the non-Islamic community)

3- It is required that the women should be practising their religion at the time of marriage and they are not practically "Mulhid" (atheist). To any women, who doesn't believe in God, religion, God's message and doesn't practise any religion at all, the "nikaah" (marriage) will be INVALID and according to "shari'ah" (Islamic Law), such a couple is involved in sin.

4- If any Muslim marries a woman from "People of the Books", the children, by shar'iah (Islamic law) are considered to be Muslim. For instance, often, in "dar al-harb," the kids adopt the religion of their mother; and, sometimes, a marriage is arranged upon agreements between the couples that half of kids will adopt mother's and the other half will follow father's religion. If a Muslim man agrees to ANY of such terms accepting the kids to be raised non-Muslims, the person will be regarded as a "Murtid" (the one who has denied Islam) because he has allowed his kids to become "kaafir" who may have been brought up in Islamic religion. Anyone who willingly and knowingly allows/agrees for his kids to become "kaafir" is regarded as "kaafir." He is out of the Islamic circle. If he had any Muslim woman in his "nikaah" before this marriage, the Muslim woman is free from his bond (because a Muslim woman can't remain married a non-Muslim).

5- Since some of our naive Muslim youngmen, living in the West, get married to the christian women in their countries. And since, usually, the local courts allow the women to get the custody of kids and the divorce settlement in their favor, our youngmen are "khusar al-duniyaa wal'-aakhiraah", means the wanderer or lost in this world and the Hereafter. Since, according to sharia'ah, the "al-maa'roof ka'almashrrot", meaning whatever is prevailing or common practise in the society is being accepted in a marriage contract. It means a Muslim man, by getting married under these circumstances in these countries, is knowingly agreeing that the woman may, in case of divorce, gets the custody of the kids and is free to raise them afterwards as she pleases.

6- For all the above stated reasons, in non-Muslim countries, it is not allowed for Muslim youngmen to marry Christian women. For the reason #3 (woman not practising a religion), the "nikaah" isn't even valid. Since the reason #4, leads to "kufr" and he becomes "murtid", the marriage to any Muslim wife becomes invalid. The reason #5 is not apllicable, if the local laws do not usually grant custody to woman or if Muslim man hasn't agreed to any "kufriaah" terms (such as accepting some kids to be raised as non-Muslims). "Haaza ma' indee, wal'Allah ilm bis'swaab."

As it is clear, that Maulana Yousuf's position is extremely strict on the issue of getting married to non-Muslim women in the West. But so is the seriousness of such situations. A scholar at Dar ul-Noor hifz school and Al-Farooq Masjid, Atlanta, Dr. Abdul Ghaffar, recommends that if a Muslim is already married to a non-Muslima, he should REMAIN married to her. He should be kind and passionate to her and facilitate her understand of true Islam. He should reflect Islam in his character and encourage her to become Muslim voluntarily before kids are born into such marriage. At that time, I found out the Al-Farooq Masjid doesn't even administer ANY inter-faith marriages.

The best option under these circumstances is to introduce the woman to Islam and WAIT for her to accept Islam before getting married. Imposing any firm conditions of her accepting Islam before marriage will NOT do any good. Because, if a woman is willing to accept Islam merely to get married to a Muslim man that she likes, she will be most likely to leave Islam if the marriage ends up in a divorce or even if the marriage becomes unpleasant for her.

It should be desireable that a woman accepts Islam solely for the reason that she likes Islam. Any forceful acceptance of Islam is not likely to be permanent nor very suitable for a happy marriage. If the woman is not a Muslim by her own choice, then in case of divorce, she may leave Islam and be free to date and marry a non-Muslim. Her new family may ultimately decide how to raise the Muslim man's children. This situation should never be acceptable to any Muslim man.

Answer 2

Muslim Dating Rules

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Dating Outside Muslim Religion?
Is it permitted for a Muslim Women to date or marry a person outside of their religion?

Answer 4

Muslim Beliefs On Marriage

Answer 5

It depends on how religious they are. I have many Muslim friends, both men and women who are married to someone of a different faith. I guess the same is true for all religions. I can say that the "old fashioned" parents of some of these couples are not too happy. My mother was catholic and my father is Muslim. One of my best friends is Jewish and married to a Catholic. I think the only problem created by this is the family involvement and not the religions themselves.

Answer 6

I would think that they would not marry outside of their culture and tradition. As you may or may not know many Muslims are married by arrangement by their parents. The parents and other family member choose a partner for their daughters and for their sons. Muslims do not date and many times do not know the person whom they are marrying until the marriage arranements have been made. They may close to the time of marriage be introduced to each other.

Answer 7

is it permitted for the other religions to marry or dat outside of their religion? of curse not.
but the modern world doesn't care much about this sort of the issues, isn't it it is the same by Muslims.
and since Muslims accept Judaism, and Christianity, they have more choices.

Answer 8

Women aren't allowed, but men are. I should know, my bf is Muslim and I'm Christian. It's ok for him, but his little sister couldn't follow suit. But some Muslims, like people in other religions, break the rules and follow their hearts.....

Answer 9

No, a Muslim woman has to marry a Muslim man

Answer 10

No, they do not "date". Almost all have marriages arranged by their parents.

Should they be caught "dating" or if they marry without parental consent (even to another moslem) they could be found guilty of bringing dishonour to their family. That could result in an honour killing of the female, and sometimes of the man involved, too.

Answer 11

Muslims are breaking the law of the land.Its the law of the western world that a man or woman of any race or religion can marry.We must enforce.These thing have to be address or rot will get deeper.