I don't know why but I can't relate to most of my friends like I used to. They're not on my wave length anymore ! Will I ever get back to normal ? my little girl is 6 months old now !
2006-09-05 09:34:25 · 14 answers · asked by kebablamb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Maybe if you're the first of your friends to have kids, it'll be a while before you can start relating with them again. Find a local mommie's group to join
2006-09-05 09:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are fed the notion that motherhood although being difficult is meant to be fulfilling, wonderful, the be all and end all.
Images of smiling babies and model mothers ooze from the likes of washing powder ads and celebs who have babies seem to be able to combine motherhood/looking fantastic/career etc all harmoniously.
The reality is often very different. Mothering is very challenging - it is not at all easy and there are times when it can seem like groundhog day which ofcourse it accompanied by guilt for not enjoying it the way one should.
All of this is normal - think about it - you are working 24 hours a day 7 days a week. You get no holiday or sick leave. You are often not appreciated and the day is relentless - on top of that when your little one is screaming regardless of what ya do it can feel like a thankless task that is just never ending.
Men often say when a woman gets pregant that they feel trapped yet any new mother who is honest will have times where she too feels this. Unfotunately too in too many homes the burden of child care and housework is still largely though not exclusively borne by women. Added to this is the pressure to look great AND to go back to economic work too.
So it is no wonder you are finding it hard to relate to your friends at the moment. Becoming a Mum - although hard - can also be the most amazing life changing event imaginable.. I had my low moments too but my wee girl is now nearly 2 and life does feel less chaotic and more fun like it used to - but the changes are indelible.
By the time your wee one is a toddler you will have turned a corner - when they can relate and communicate - parenthood does begin to shape up to the way you perceive it to be before having a screaming new born.
Hang in there - love him or her every single day and don't be too hard on yourself - it is a really really hard relentless slog caring for a baby well. If possible have some time to yourself to recharge your batteries and do keep in contact with your old friends as well as making new one's at babygroups and the like.
Wishing you all the best.
2006-09-05 09:52:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have stepped into a new way of life and had a shock to the system where you are finding it hard to understand what is going on around you and are over protecting life around you from entering into your comfort zone.
Others wont understand or know what to say as they see the way you are re-acting and find it hard to relate to you through this invisible safety barrier that surrounds you.
Try to let others loOK after the baby even just in the same room,and i think you will find everything is ok to let others inside and be more involved.
If you try this and find you can`t allow this,then you must seek more professional help.
2006-09-05 12:18:52 · answer #3 · answered by asmoothrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're feeling really low, talk to your health visitor or GP. However it is normal to feel different after having a baby, it is a huge change. Do you have a post natal group you can go to, where you can meet other mums with babies, that is a great way to make new friends. Or ask you health visitor for a list of mums and toddlers groups, you can take babies there too.
2006-09-05 09:43:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes of course you will.i had postnatal depression for a long time in the end i went the doctors and got cipramil anti depressant tablets.after a couple of weeks i felt great started going mother and baby groups and talking to other mums you will soon find out your not abnormal loads of girls feel the same way after having a baby.dont lose your friends when you feel better you'll be able to go out with them again and sometimes GOOD friends are needed.hope you feel better soon good luck
2006-09-05 11:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by MICHELLE D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I used to have that, it's different for each mother but I can tell you that it does end eventually I've had 2 more children since then and I didn't get it with them, I would say get out more even if it's only to your mothers, staying at home all the time doesn't help.
If you don't feel like going out pamper yourself ,don't listen to sad music that doesn't help it just makes you feel sadder, you'll no when it's going just don't try to hard.
Good Luck
2006-09-08 06:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by jazzie_jue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you worry about that..
That is normal... you now have a baby to tend to and not your friends..
They are not in your wave length anymore.. and do not ry to get back to normal.. because you are not abnormal anyway...
What is happening to you is just as normal to any loving mother...
Your friends will understand and if they are really good friends, they will be by your side,,, no matter what..
Relax,, don't worry about your friends,, worry about your baby..
Good luck
2006-09-05 09:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by yulnores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey luvvy, I've been there, You enjoy your baby while you can. there's plenty of time to get back to your freinds if they are true mates they will wait. You have just had a baby, take all the time you need to enjoy her. If you start interacting with your mates all the time, you are missing out on your special time with baby. Beleive me they should understand and you will soon be able to go out and have a break.
2006-09-06 09:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jeanette 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its an awful thing is postnatal depression and i'm sure u'll get over it soon x
just wondering do you other friends have kids? if so try taking them to play groups and play gyms i know yr little ones only young but you'll both enjoy them if not try mums and tots they're not as bad as they sound it gives u people to talk to and chat with and again lets yr little one play with others.
have u been to see the doc about it btw?
good luck and i'm sure u'll get over it soon
2006-09-05 09:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by kj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay i know how you feel it's been 18 months since my son was born and i still feel like crap. Do you feel inadequate,sensitive,angry,loss of confidence? have you been prescribed medication? I have been told it does get better but it doesn't help at the moment does it? Good luck I hope you feel better soon.
2006-09-05 09:41:19 · answer #10 · answered by jules 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋