My sister's kids are bratty!?

Question

They have no manners, and they are my nephew and niece (7 and 5). They interrupt adult conversations constantly. They dont like to share their stuff with the kids from my other sister. They are very needy with their mom, for every little thing. Is this normal?
How do I deal with this. After all this is a lifelong relationship I share with both the chidren and their parents.
Sometimes, I find it hard to be around them, and seeing how she puts up with it makes me want to not be around her either!
I dont have kids so maybe this is normal and I dont know it? Then I will try harder to get along. Let me know!

I must add, we are not that close and she is extremely touchy and defensive about her kids. Even though I have NEVER expressed an opinion on her kids, their behaviour, or her child rearing skills.
I am married with no kids myself, and have healthy relationships with many little kids, including the two from my other sister, who I am much closer to.
Just wanted to mention that this is not some angst that I am carrying from wanting to be around my sister, I am not even too close to her. The few times that we do meet and interact, I AM embarrassed by her children's behaviour and her own as well.

Answer 1

Parents are the last ones to see faults in their kids. Zip your lip and spend less time around them. Hopefully, they'll grow out of it.

Answer 2

No, not normal, but more so in today's culture where parents are so afraid of alienating their children with discipline, they do nothing. And I find it sickening. My two sons were very well behaved, and knew better than to be brats. I am sorry you are put into this situation, for it is lose/lose no matter how you look at it. If you say anything, you will be the bad guy. If you don't the kids suffer greatly. Kids scream for direction and guide lines, yet are left to their own pitiful devices..not very kind, certainly poor parenting skills. Your nephew/niece actions speak very badly of the mother and the father, not of them. Perhaps that is how it could be said. We always judge the parents by the children's actions. Good luck

Answer 3

That's a difficult position to be in. However, as an aunt, you can have some input. When you are talking to someone and they interrupt, calmly tell them, "in a moment. I'm talking right now." When they refuse to share, you can comment, "your mom and I learned to share when we were little. It's more fun for everyone if you play together nicely." etc.etc.etc.
What you can't do, of course, is give them the back of your hand, as much as they need it. Nor can you scold. But you can certainly comment about how things were in the family when their mom was little.
However, you can catch them doing something right (if that ever happens?) and give them a compliment. The easiest way to modify behavior is to ignore bad behavior and praise good behavior.
She's probably not going to appreciate your comments, but if you don't get along well anyway, what do you have to lose?

Answer 4

it sounds like they are wanting attention (is there not a father around) which is normal but can be worked with so they are getting it in the "right" polite way i would talk to your sister and see if she would start with a process to let them know that they have been noticed for example when my nephew wants something or to say something while adults are talk he puts his hand or the person he wants to talk to's shoulder to acknowledge that he wants to speak that person then holds his hand until it is his turn to speak at an appropriate break in conversation or they let him know that this is important but will make sure to hear all of his concerns within 15 mins it is important not to make them wait to long though because children have short attention spans good luck

Answer 5

I agree with Mike L. If they ever come to your place, you're the one who sets the rules. It would drive my mum crazy when kids would put their feet with their shoes on on her couch and the parents wouldn't say anything about it!

This is not normal behaviour, although it seems that more and ore people allow their kids to act like that.

If you don't see her that often, just don't say anything. Hopefully, they'll change with time (well, I don't think that will happen, but you never know)

Answer 6

With some kids its normal and some parents are happy with this and dont see it as a problem - they are still very young and just think in a few years time you will see them growing into teenagers which is even more fun !

Answer 7

No, it's not normal. Parents usually teach their kids manners and not to interrupt, and usually at get togethers kids go off and play and leave the adults to chat. You can't really do anything about it, unless you are willing to talk to your sister about her children's unruly behavior. If you are close to her she might listen, but many parents get angry if you point out something about their kids or something they are doing wrong.

Answer 8

Wow. I'd probably end up saying something to my sister. And I'd correct the kids if they intruded on my personal space. I'd probably start world war 3, but I'd have to say my peace. I wouldn't correct every last detail like if I was their parent, but I would let them know what is up when dealing with ME one on one.

Answer 9

You have a few choices:

Deal with it (not the best choice)
Ignore them (even worse)

Best Choice: Talk to your sister and tell her this is not acceptable behavior. I would hope that you are close enough with your sister that she would welcome advice like this. Once they get too old to change their ways, she will end up with monster teens!

Have her watch Super Nanny ... give her some pointers.

Lastly, correct them yourself whenever they interact with you directly and are acting like that. Try and teach them manners on your terms.

Answer 10

Sounds like your sister needs a visit from the "Super Nanny" or she needs to dicipline her kids on her own.

That type of behavior should not be normal, but unfortunately it is becoming that way.