am i stupid for forgiving him?

Question

he cheated on me three weeks ago when he was really drunk.
at first i was way pissed. but then i was like whatever becuase i know people make mistakes and i made the same mistake in april. he didnt admit it to me at first but instead called a mutual friend and was crying to her about how it was the biggest mistake of his life and he was so scared of losing me. yeah typical right
but i truly believe him.
everyone says that if it happens once it can happen again but i dont buy that becuase i did it and never again will i do it again. it was a horrible mistake. i would have him cheat on me 1000times over again if i could only take back the time i cheated on him
i also believe that if your truly in love than you can endure anything, and your willing to endure everything. and i am.
so what do you think.
am i stupid for forgiving him?

Answer 1

no your not stupid i think your a real woman in love sweetheart i believe everyone does make mistakes noone is perfect, when your considering your love for him and take him back the last thing you need is some of these people on this site opinon, most on here are bitter, i have been through what you been through you may forgive you wont wont forget thats fine though in time your wounds will heal, i say take your man back sweetheart he was stupid but was man enough to admit it, as god said let he who has not sinned cast the first stone sweetheart
your friend the luvdoctor

Answer 2

First of all no decision in your life that you make with your head and your heart is considered stupid...it is just that: a decision. And we must learn from our mistakes.

You should ask yourself a few things though:
How long have you been together? and you have both cheated....how can you build a foundation of trust on two people that have both made "mistakes" and cheated. I don't believe in the mistake thing--here's why:
I have been drunk many a time...and while it does lower your inhibitions it does not make you forget who you are with/who you love. I don't believe your boyfriend made a mistake...I believe he is now regretful--and that is why he is apologizing. He knew what he was doing at the time--but he now realizes the consequences of his actions (he acted before he thought it through unfortunately). Here's another question for you
If you truly believe him, why are you doubting your decision? there must be something to that....

And another question:

What happens next time he gets drunk....?? are you going to worry about that from now on. I'm not going to say that he will definitely do it again. What I am saying is that it is very very hard to trust someone after they have betrayed you and cheated--so it's more about the trust issue than anything else...if you honestly feel you can trust him and this issue will NEVER cloud that in the future then go for it...
But ask yourself the questions above and always follow your head AND your heart...because believe me--you may miss him at first, but you WILL get through it (trust me, I did)

Answer 3

honny i know how u feel u can have me crying in a minute . i had the same problem . u are not stupid at all!! i was a wild child in my days and have made mistakes i have 2 live with horrible MISTAKES hon and i paid for them by cryin myself 2 sleep! i was able 2 get over it with the help of my boyfiend of three years now! sometimes its still hard and it hurts knowing what ive done 2 myself and him . I was out there 4 fun and started haveing sex with people because i knew nothing of love and was dumb when i first met my boyfriend now i wasnt ready 2 give up my wild life and i was still doing it when i was with him i cheated 3 times and differnt people and regret it continually. i was out 2 whta i called fun and didnt relize he was a good guy and not like the rest but no i wanted the party life the life that meant sex and sex and diffent people and he changed my life around if it wasnt 4 him id be a nasty little girl! i dont belive the thing about they will do it again i know i want and when he left me i was nothing because by the time i was in love and had to tell him these horrid things i can never tell u how Bad that hurt that night whene he walked out on me . the next day i was crying and he took me back beacuse he was in love wit me and id never do that again! he also told me when he did take me back that it wasnt about revenge and hes never cheated on me and i have 2 live with that but with his help i managed and stiil today with him hes my best friend. so hon trust me ure not stupid at all and sometimes love will make u do things u feel stupid but ......no ever need 2 chat [e-mail]

Answer 4

Humm..
I have been faced with this problem before so I know hoe you feel.
I in my case did forgive my ex, but I ended up dumping him because I though he was going to cheat on me again.
( Turns out every girlfriend he ever had was cheated on ).
This is true tho and it will parable happen again.
If someone cheated once then
they would parable do it again.
Usually if a guy cheats they would parable do it again , as for girls they learn the lesson lol.
Well down to the point would you rather have a broken heart or dump and forget?

Not much , But I hope it helps

Answer 5

NO you're no stupid.He forgave you didn't he?
That may be the reason why he did it to you was for you to feel the same way he did when it happened to him.Don't feel very good does it? If you love someone truly you would never do this to them.Ive been married 17 yrs. and my husband put me through allot.He's an alcoholic(recovering) and I'm very hot.Every friend he has hits on me and I would never dream of doing this to him.I honestly think that people that cheat do it because of low self esteem.But,take this in heed and learn a lesson from it and don't ever let it happen again.

Answer 6

You are not stupid. Don't ever think you're stupid. I actually believe you're pretty sensible from what you said. If that is how you feel right now about him, I would say stay with him and see how things go.

HOWEVER <-- note the capital letters don't let things go immediately back to normal. Take it extremely slow. Not only did he cheat on you, but you have cheated on him, too. If you're looking for a solid relationship, you need to build it up from scratch once you break the trust. So if you're still interested, build that trust back up and see how things go from there, ok? Slow and steady.

Answer 7

you said that if you are truly in love then you can endure anything but instead you should be tellin yourself that if you are really smart you can see things for what they really are. Never let your heart blind you to what the bigger picture is. Its never stupid to forgive anyone for anything to answer your question though. Dont get me wrong, Im not suggesting that you break up with him...its just that sometimes when we feel like we really love someone you convince yourself of their innocence or remorse when is not really there.

Answer 8

People make mistakes, indeed. If you believe he's being sincere, and you truly care for him, then no, you're not.

Forgiving him was the right thing to do. However, if it ever happens again, even if he was drunk or whatever, drop him.

One mistake is forgivable. Twice? Hell no.

Answer 9

Alexis..that's you call. If you love that man enough to forgive him then GREAT!!! But make sure you really forgive him. You can't throw it up in his face every five minutes.

If you cheated on him too you might want to consider some couples therapy...get to the root of the problem so it doesn't happen again

Answer 10

Easy way out is to dump him.

Marriage is a covenant with God. You fight to keep it.

My wife cheated on me when my children were very young.(about 10 years ago)

We are still together after 20 years.

But the ground rules are clear. No male friends are ever visited alone, ever. I do not follow her around. She tells me where she is going out of respect. So it works out.

Get counseling if you need to. Good Luck.