I need to get this kid out of my house but I know that this will be considered a lock out and DCFS will become involved. I have had him arrested due to his violent nature. He will not attend school or counseling. I've been in contact with several places but because he was arrested they cannot help. I really need to know what can be done about this situation.
2006-09-05 09:12:43 · 16 answers · asked by brenda 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
Call the police ask them what your recourse is. Let them know that he is violent towards your other children and you fear for their safety and need some options.
I have a friend who was doing the same thing and she ended up putting him in a home that was for disturbed youth. He ended up being violent and is in jail as an adult now.
2006-09-05 09:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by rltouhe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through this. It has to be quite difficult for you and the other children. First, where is his father? Are there other relatives that could handle him for a while, perhaps a male role model? I would call the school, although I know he doesn't attend and ask to speak to a counselor. The counselor may have some information as to whom you can contact as to placement. Secondly, is there a Boy's State in your state.... a place for incorrigible boys? You could google a search for one on your computer. Have you considered an intervention with other people personally escorting him to counseling? If possible, I would personally take him to school and sit with him through his classes. I know that sounds weird but if you could manage it, I sure would do it. You are in control. You are the parent. Of course, I do realize that there comes a time when a boy's size overshawdows our size and is much more threatening. I think you should also think of your police department as your friend and make a trip down there and talk to an officer. Also the school should have a resource officer you can talk to plus your son should have a school counselor as well. You call anyone and everyone including a minister, an attorney, etc etc and find out what your options are. Also, may I suggest that you keep a journal each day as to his behavior. Be sure and date it too. This will be helpful in the future, trust me on that! You son needs help in a major way. He needs anger management and long term counseling. I am so sorry you are in this mess. I hope I have helped in some small way but I know that you are between a rock and a hard place. Just remember....YOU ARE THE BOSS! Good luck and email me if you wish through yahoo. I hate to think what this is not only doing to you but also to the other two children. :(
2006-09-05 09:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by Royallady1947 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI!
I am not sure where you are from or the services available. I can only tell you that here in Massachusetts if a parent were in your situation we would be able to file a CHINS (child in need of services)on the child. This involves getting the juvenile court and most likely child services involved. The judge would hear the situation from all sides- parents, child, school, social worker etc.- then make a decision on a placement or services to be provided. If the child is left in the home it would be mandated that he attend counceling. If he refused he would face the judge again. I strongly suggest you find out if you have an option such as this. Its much better he face consequences of his behavior now and get the help he needs to become a socially acceptable self sufficient adult. Good luck and please let me know how you make out. ~Chris
2006-09-05 09:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by chris d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to the dope that says to beat him, that will only further lead him to violence and re-enforce the use of violent behavior as a solution. You may first get the advice of a social worker or local advocates that deal with violent children. If the Dad is in the picture you could also try some intervention in a safe enviornment where he is forced to listen, to the guidlines you want to lay down. But the most important thing is to have a solid plan of what he must do and stick to it no matter how hard it may be...including involving DCS or DYS, or taking a restraining order against him so he cannot go around your other children. (is hard as that may be) The real question lies in WHY is he so violent and how did he learn this behavior.
2006-09-05 09:29:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very touchy subject for me only because I have been there,and I hope what I have to say will help you! I am a single mother of three and my oldest at the time was 121/2 and he too became VERY abussive and it started with normal sibling stuff into him bruising and ect. He would not go to school it was a physical fight each time, The school was going to threaten to have him put in a home and me arrested!! So I did the only thing I could think of at the time I sent him with mike (his stepdad)which is my daughters dad(long story there but if you need more personal time to hear it all please email @ angel_shai_soreal@yahoo.com)You see I met my daughters dad when my oldest son was 3months old and he was very attached to him and that is who he has always seen as dad in his eyes, anyway I called him and explained what was going on and he came and got him and has had him now for about 3yrs. and It was the hardest thing ever, even though I knew it was right and the best thing for everyone, I have to tell you that it was the best thing I had ever done!!! Now my son is 151/2 and he is so respectful and says how sorry he is for everything he is a changed man I am thankful for him being there for us. Now I feel that a child male/female needs both parents in there lives they do not ask to be here and It is a shame of how many of us women are out here on our own with no help my heart goes out to all single women who r struggeling with there childeren and if you don't have a dad/father who can take him then you could also look on the internet for a place called COVENANT HOUSE I did a study on them and they are wonderful they not only help troubled youth but are there for the parent as well!!! There is also the boys town and so many other options, what bothers me is you(we)ask for help and they don't want to help us and then when we BEAT THERE ASSES then they want to be involved!!!! and they want to be all conserned!!!! do ya feel me out there!!! Sometimes the problem with a child is to severe that not even an a$$ whopping can help do not blame yourself somethings are just out of our control!!!! much love jenn i will pray for you and your child!!!!!
2006-09-06 03:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by JENN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to hug him and tell him you love him no matter what! Put down strong boundaries but always love and want your children. He is crying out for help obviously but we as parents don't get to give our kids back (so to speak). Please do not let this child be another statistic. Love him. Really love him. Don't tolerate him, embrace him. Try to find some GREAT qualities and focus on them even though you can't think of any at this exact moment. Is he artistic? Does he like skateboarding? What about sports? Find something you can embrace and hold on for dear life! He needs you! You are his life line right now. Character is made under tragedy not happiness! Also, find the opportunity in this tragedy. There are reasons for everything and instead of fighting him LOVE him!
2006-09-05 15:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by Giselle G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting your kid out of your house is not gonna solve all problems. Yes, his siblings wouldn't be abused anymore but the kid is still gonna remain the same. Sometimes when kids act violently its caused by something within the household. Just sit him down and really ask him what the problem is because it seems he's reacting to a situation. Give him your attention and try to be his friend, try to understand his situation first then he won't be reluctant to change.
2006-09-05 09:22:44 · answer #7 · answered by clarevale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a foster parent in MA and we have a thing here called a CHINS (child in need of services) I am sure your state has something similar. He would likely be removed from your home for a supervised setting for troubled boys and would receive counseling, education and possibly needed medical and psychiatric evaluation.
No one should have to live in a violent situation, I would call your social service department as soon as possible before someone in your home gets badly hurt.
2006-09-05 10:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by jsue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in the mirror and blame yourself.....because I'm sorry to say that's where the problem lies. have you got this kid any help at all or are you just trying to get rid of the problem without the hassles? He could have mental issues .. are you still married ? is his father in the picture? if not did this start happening after the break-up?do you do anything with your son sports, watching television, helping him with his schoolwork? never and I mean never give up on your kids you should have unconditional love towards them no matter what the problem is.
2006-09-05 09:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by Tigers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek for your son psychiatric help the soonest possible, kicking him out of the house is condemning him to death; let the doctor's decide whether he needs to be institutionalized.
2006-09-05 09:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by markos m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋