I am 14 years old, and I have this boyfriend who is a senior and he's usually really nice. Recently he started pressuring me to do some stuff.he try's to get me to have sex, drink, and sometimes do drugs with him.The worst is when he asks for sex. If I say I'm not in the mood, he just keeps pushing it until I cave in. He's usually really gentle with me around people but when we are alone and I dont want to do something he can get violent. Ive tried to break up with him, but whenever I do that he kisses me and tries to make me happy. Sometimes he even will try for sex right on the spot, I guess so that he can make me happy and i will forget about breaking up.but i honestly dont want to do it.other times he will hit me and say we are gonna stay together.I really do want to break up with him, but im afraid he might hurt me. sometimes he even stays the night, when my parents arent home. i try to keep him out but he finds a way to get in.I have trouble talking to my mom(continue below)
2006-09-05 07:56:07 · 24 answers · asked by ... 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
about stuff like this. I really dont know what to do. i feel like i might be doing something wrong like not pleasuring him enough. i feel like i am being selfish sometimes.
2006-09-05 07:58:09 · update #1
please help..
2006-09-05 07:58:26 · update #2
also..if you are a mom what would you say to your kid if they told you this?
2006-09-05 08:26:36 · update #3
Please, please PLEASE talk to your mother or father! This is a horrible situation for ANY girl to be in, let alone a 14 year old!
Your boyfriend is an abuser and he is a horrible person! You need help and you need it NOW!!
If you simply cannot talk to your parents, see the school nurse or your counselor. He or she will intervene on your behalf and talk to your parents.
No matter what, your "boyfriend" needs to be OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Until you talk to someone this abuse will continue and you are leaving yourself open for all sorts of misery. Your parents may be able to help get legal action - like a restraining order against him to keep him away from you.
Until you tell someone you're on your own - and it doesn't sound like that's where you want to be. ASK for the help you need and that you deserve!
2006-09-05 08:21:19 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well darling! here goes, from a mom and a grandmom...I raised my own and then my granddaughters, now 22 & 24... so read on - I have a lot of knowledge and expience... and you can TRUST my suggestions... 1st:this is statatory rape! you are only 14 and the age limit is being upted! Good thing - because Predators like your "so-called" BOYfriend - is playing you..I hope you have always used protection!If not get to a clinic right away and be tested for all!!! HIV is at a critical level amoung your age group - get tested!! - Stop now! tell your so-called - out-of-control-control freak - to use his left hand and pretend its a stanger, that you no longer are participating - if he can't accept that - then he never wanted YOU darlin! only the sex... WAKE-up - the only reason you can't talk to your mother about this is - let me quess - she doesn't like this guy!Didn't approve of you seeing him, etc,etc. Sometimes, almost always, moms are RIGHT!...Honestly, DUMP this guy quick - get on with being a teenager, have fun with your girlfriends, don't get personal with them, keep it cool.Any boy who wants sex from you - DUMP HIM - when the right guy comes into your life - the last thing he will want is sex - first always remember - sex is for making babies, and your still one yourself... give yourself a chance to grow-up - your youth is the best years of your life - keep them happy and stressless... these years will leave you memories you may wish you had never created!!Be careful, love yourself first, practice the word NO and mean it. Don't do drugs or drink - your brain is still growing and you'll do irreversable damage to it that can never be repaired.Maybe you should look at who you are associating with and change groups - or get yourself involved in a Volunteer Program - stay busy. You are who you associate with.
2006-09-09 08:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, what he's doing to you is wrong!
He's physically abusive and emotionally abusive. He has no right to treat you like that AND no right to force you to have sex (any type) with him. That's rape and it's against the law. Add to that your age and it's statutory rape.
Then forcing you to drink and do drugs................
He belongs in jail.
There must be some adult that you can trust to tell. Please talk to someone. You need support to bring this all to an end.
You're more important as a person to let this go on, you just need someone to stand by you so you can move on.
You are saving yourself from an uncertain painful future, because if he's treating you like this now, he's only going to get worse. You can also save some other poor sweet girl from going through what you're going through if he ends up in jail.
Please be strong. Talk to your parents, a teacher, the parent of a friend, someone to help you bring this guy to justice.
2006-09-05 15:19:54 · answer #3 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you read all of your responses to your question, one thing is continuous being said...... You are in an abusive relationship and you need help. An adult is the best person to help you with this. Your parents would be the iudeal people to talk to about this because I'm sure they wouldn't want someone abusing their daughter. When he asks you for sex and you don't feel like it, he shouldn't pressure you. He is trying to control you and by hurting you and being mean that's just the beginning. I know. I am a former battered woman. It took me a long time to get out of his control and just like you, when he was nice to me I thought it would be ok and he would change. You are the one that has to change. That means getting him out of your life. Please, talk to a school counselor or call your local shelter for battered woman. They will be able to help you tremendously if you can't talk to your parents right away. Good luck!
2006-09-05 15:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by Webbia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you have your head screwed on straight and know that what he's doing is wrong. You just need help getting rid of him.
Definitely go and talk to someone you trust. You need to be as far away from this boy as possible.
Next time he comes in the house while your mom is away, lock yourself in a room and call the police. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean that he can come into your mother's house un-invited. Let the police deal with him. While their there, tell them that he hits you. They'll deal with that too.
Whatever you do, don't worry about getting him into trouble. He deserves to be. He's lead himself down this road. If it's not you, it would be some other girl.
2006-09-05 15:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have got to leave your boyfriend. You know that this is an abusive relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for help.
I suggest you file rape charges against him, and talk to your mom about what has been happening. Yes, this will be hard, but not as hard as continuing to live your life the way you have been doing.
Please decide now to change the direction of your life. You have to take control, because otherwise, you are going to end up as a battered abused single mom who is getting no financial support from the pathetic specimen of a man you call your boyfriend.
I hope that things get better for you soon!
2006-09-05 15:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there an aunt , sister, cousin, friend, any one you can talk to and be with at all times so that you don't have to be alone . Take someone with you when you tell him that you don't want to see him any more . I was with an abusive boyfriend for a year he got me pregnant and he was Physically & Mentally abusive the whole time. I put up with it till he threated our daughter because I wouldn't give him some . I had to have a C-section with my daughter . And I still had Staples in my stomach when he did this . If it wasn't for an older cousin I don't know what wuold have happened to me and my daughter . So please talk to anyone that could help get him away from you .
2006-09-05 15:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please please please talk to your mom or dad. They might not like what you have to say but they love you and will protect you from this boy. He isnt good for you and if he is hitting you and forcing himself on you then things will only get worse. Be brave and break it off with him. You are so young right now and have your whole life ahead of you. This guy is a creep and shouldnt even be dating you because he is way to old. I know what it is like to be where you are right now. I was with a guy from the time I was nine until I turned 18 and it sounds like the same story. Please be brave because in the end your parents will help you. As hard as it is to beleive right now, your parents would rather hear something they dont like from you and keep you safe then for you not to say anything and have something really bad happen. Good luck sweety and know that you are not alone. I will prey for you.
2006-09-05 15:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by loverbird20032003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a loser to me. The next time he even raises his voice at you, Call 911 and get it on record. This guy is a potential rapist from what I read. Talk to your parents and explain. Parents are here to protect our children, We may not always be happy about the things our kids do, but we do understand. If your from Temecula California I'll beat this guy into the ground for ya.
2006-09-05 15:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by myothernewname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to you parents about it. They might be angry at first but they'll respect you for letting them know what is going on. They can get you counseling and support your decision not to date this guy anymore. It seems like you have a lack of self esteem so try joining a club, meet new friends, and have fun without this boyfriend. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-05 15:01:34 · answer #10 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋