about my poem?

Question

what dose everyone thing of this unfishisned poem

to my secret velintine
from your lovely susnshine

i know am not as smart as Einstine
but im still your sunshine

i should have love you more in time
but instead i drink summer wine gasping in the sunshine

i clambed the masculine pine and dreamed of my sweet sunshine and are secret velintine

your mine mine in the sweet rays of sunshine

your as sweet as turpentine from a masculine pine

i wish you were mine so we could make love in the sunshine


how do i edited it to a poem from and anyone would like to add on to all my mis sakes go head hit me

Answer 1

I DONT LIKE IT ITS WEAK U FEEL ME

Answer 2

To My Secret Valentine
From Your Ever Lovely Sunshine.....

I may not be as smart as.... Einstein
But I'm still your Sunshine.
I think I will love you more with time,
but instead,
I drink summer wine, gasping
in the sunshine.
I climbed a masculine pine, this sweet Sunshine, and
thought only of
my Secret Valentine.
Will you be be mine? Be mine, and be my sweet ray of Sunshine.
Your as sweet as the flowers, that come each spring, beneath the masculine pine.
To make love with you, my Secret Valentine
under that masculine pine,
is my one true wish.
Be mine.

Signed,
Your Sunshine


I could not put the turpentine in there. Turpentine is not sweet at all. And pines do not give out turpentine, they give out sap. I was in a hurry so the words might not flow easy together. I tried to understand where you were coming from and didn't try to change too much, because it's your poem. But all in all, it made no sense to me when I first read it. So, I changed it a little. Sorry.

Answer 3

ok so who is sunshine u her or the sunshine.. what the hell is a masuline pine? turpentine is not sweet. shoud have love u more with time means that u once had her and now lost her. im me i will give u a poem that will blow her mind

Answer 4

its ok - just cut down on the sunshine and find more rhyming wurds