Should stay with this girl?

Question

I started dating this girl 4 months after i moved to a new city. It has been off and on for the past 9 months now. When I think of the type of girl I want she doesnt really fit in. She isn't independant. She has no goals, and has no idea what she wants to do with her life. She can be immature, and she has no responsiblity. We dont really have a lot in common, and we have trouble finding things that we both want to do. The sex is great, and I enjoy just being around her. She's done some things in the past that make me not trust her. I think about her a lot, and I get worried when she's out and I'm not around. On top of all of this, I still think about my ex in the past city that I lived in. I've talked to her on a couple of occasions since we broke up, but I think about her a lot. All in all i just dont know what to do. I just don't want to keep leading this girl on and then breaking up with her down the road. Thus making it harder on both of us. Any answers or advice is appriciated!

Answer 1

I think you know what you should do.

You need to break up with her before it gets to the point of leading her on.

A person who has no goals, no independence, no responsibility, etc. is not the type of person you may want to, say, marry or even date long term.

If she's done things that cause you not to trust her, and you still think about your ex, the answer is clear.

Let her go.

Answer 2

Dude-
First off - trust me - if you moved back to the old city to date the old girl again - you will be sitting there second guessing yourself and thinking about the immature girl you left behind. Kinda Grass is always Greener type of thing.
I think personally - you are not ready for a serious - settle down type of relationship. When you are - you will know it and not be second guessing yourself all the time. Also - stop being this current girl's big brother. Unless she is in harms way - she will be ok without you. If you want to keep banging her and not deal with a committed relationship - fine - just sit her down and let her know and be honest with her. You might lose her but maybe not. She might be cool with that and tell you that she was feeling the same way.
right now you need to build on your confidence level. You obviously are a good catch and have no problem hooking up with girls. Treat yourself right and others will treat you better.

Answer 3

I think you should marry her and impregnate her. That way, you'd have more important things to worry about than the differences you have, your ex, or the fact that she has no goals.

She seems like a good girl to me. She pleases you and that eases the pain of the dullness of life.

Forget the ex. Been there done that. Don't be like a salmon where you have to go back upstream to an eventual death.

Stay with the girl you're with in this new town. She sounds like a winner to me. Who needs goals? Goals are for sperm in need of an egg to fertilize. She's already been born so her mission was accomplished. Take her out for a milkshake today and talk about why vegans don't eat meat.

Then, take her home and have some "hooo-aaaah!" Let the load fly to where ever it flies and let the time pass by as if a goal was nothing more than mole in a hole.

Answer 4

Well you can't base your trust on her past but it sounds like she is immature and doesn't know what she wants. She has to get her priorities straight before she wants to get involved with someone. You are very smart for noticing it now before it is too late and you get too deep into the relationship. Hey even though the sex is good a relationship is not based on sex, maybe you can keep her as a friend with benefits and nothing more. Talk to her and let her know you need a woman with a good head on their shoulders not a little girl that ain't in the same book as you are. Good luck...and take your time you are still young you will meet tons of ladies you just have to be careful on who you end up with.

Answer 5

You seem to be a person of integrity and, of course, you answered your own question.
My guess is that since you moved to this new city and have been seeing her, you most likely have not met any other women. The sex is great and you enjoy her company but you do not see yourself in a long term relationship with her. Perhaps that is how she feels about you. Talk to her and tell her how you feel.
Perhaps there is some kind of compromise here...

Answer 6

sounds like you want a relationship so u r settling for anything. You answered your own question really. You know there is no future hell does even sound like there is a present. I also know its hard letting go. The thought of being alone or of anyone else having her. Its time to move on.Eventually you will hate one another and it will get ugly if u keep this going on. Your wasting valuable time in your life the perfect girl could be looking for u right now..

Answer 7

By what you say there is no future for yall to be together. You need to let her go now. The longer you drag this out the more it is going to hurt both of yall. You sound like a great guy so, follow what your heart tells you to do. You aren't happy with her and you still have strong feeling for your X. Get out now.

Answer 8

well it sounds like you know you want to break up with this chick but you feel like you will have no one else to hang out with. You obviously don't trust her at all and only like her for the sex. I'd say end it, you'll make other friends and find a girl you are more into. Feels like it won't happen at the time but it will before you know it.

Answer 9

why is honesty the hardest thing to use when it is needed the most.... my God... she is all that you don't want....yet the sex is great? sounds like the sex is all that is needed... for you anyways..tell her man, YOU are leading HER on, you can tell us but not her? TELL HER, it is the right thing to do!by feeling the way you do and then having this wonderful sex is wrong, YOU are and YOU will HURT her, leave her alone now before YOU make it WORSE for HER.
simple really.

Answer 10

hello Indecisive,
I think, if you just read out what you ve written you ll see that you have already taken your decisions with this girl. Its not the ex you miss, is that 'touch' you used to have with your partner. Cool down and just follow your heart . I bet you have more troubles already to worry about a relationship that doesn't function...