My boyfriend and I just recently started dating. Since we're both church-goers, we know that there will be no sex until marriage. What my boyfriend doesn't know is that I have absolutely no interest in sex and would prefer a sexless marriage. My idea of a husband is more of a best friend than a sexual partner. After how many months of dating will it be appropriate to tell him this? I don't want to randomly talk about sex before we're close enough, but I don't want us to be too close that (assuming he'd back off) breaking up would hurt too much.
Also, assuming he didn't back off even after I told him this, would it be fair for him to never know what sex is like?
2006-09-05 05:21:16 · 9 answers · asked by goody2shoes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know why some of you felt the need to be rude. My not wanting to have sex has nothing to do with my religious beliefs. Try to at least answer the question next time.
2006-09-05 06:00:09 · update #1
You have to understand that sex is one of the major defining points of a relationship. If you take that away from him, something will always be missing in your relationship.
You'd be depriving him and depriving yourself. Seeing as how you've never had sex, you don't really know whether or not you want to have a sexless marriage. You might experience it once and change your mind. Just try to keep an open mind.
2006-09-05 05:51:13 · answer #1 · answered by paladin12002000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely & Immediately
Absolutely not fair on him, 1st of all because it is a necessity and need. And also, as church goers don't you know that people get married to raise up a family?
Immediately tell him what you think about sex, maybe his image of a married man is accompanied by sex and children (fair enough), i think you should do this right away before the thing gets more serious. It might hurt but if you do it later it might hurt more. Though there is also a chance that he think it exactly the way you do
Good luck
2006-09-05 05:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by Rody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him that as soon as possible before your relationship gets too deep and complicated. And always put yourself in his place. He has the right to enjoy his sexual life. You had the right too but you are giving it up willingly. So you should understand if he does not want to continue or appreciate it if he wants a sex mate in his life!!
2006-09-06 04:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by Kiwi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just nuts. You should tell him right now. There is no way a man should have to deal with that. Sex is NATURAL. It is one of the basic physiological needs to human beings.
You are being complety unfair to him stringing him along with the intention to never have sex.
2006-09-05 05:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you interested in sex? In that case perhaps you should become a nun. no offense, but sex brings husband and wife closer in a marriage, and without it, he's bound to look somewhere else.
2006-09-05 05:27:37 · answer #5 · answered by sugarsweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gotta tell u u r wierd sex is the best--dont u want children? and yes i would call that abuse not letting ur husband get any how mean! u gotta have a little fun in marrage not all guys r pigs so dont htink he is gonna ditch u
2006-09-05 05:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
better discuss on your next bible date...he may be expecting to do the deed every day and night...wouldn't that be a marriage made in hell!!!
2006-09-05 05:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i'd alow him to have sex w/ other women since let's face it he's a man.
2006-09-05 05:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
closet lesbian???
2006-09-05 05:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋