The girl is 12, really needs a bra but hates ity and doesn't want to wear one. She keeps saying she has many friends who have breats but their moms do'nt make them wear a bra, Do you think her mom should force her to wear one anyway?
If the girl disobeys, for example, takes off her bra at school or when he mom is not around, fdo yiu think she should be punished? If so, how?
2006-09-05 04:46:13 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think that there is a better way than punishment.
Talk to your daughter about all the reasons why she should be wearing a bra. Take her shopping and her properly fitted for a bra. Then find a style that's all cotton and comfortable so she can get used to it. They make training bras for this reason. Or even try a sports bra. While there's no actual medical proof that women NEED to wear bras, it's what is acceptable in Western culture.
She should start wearing one, if for no other reason, so that she isn't looked at as a piece of meat by the guys. At 12 she really isn't old enough to be putting her body on display like that. Going without a bra certainly does that. She needs to understand that she might not get treated fairly if she continues this look. What her friends and their mothers do is not always the best thing for her. She should at least be wearing a camisole to help hide prominent nipples and keep her breasts from bouncing out of control when she moves.
If she is taking it off at school, there isn't much you can do to stop her. But she really should be educated about why bras are worn, and why bras are the accepted look for women.
2006-09-05 05:00:37 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From the way you write this question, soudns like the girl isn't even yours. If that be the case, I'd mind me own business.
Regardless, don't pressure the kid... as she is just a kid.... just scare her with real life, as in, 1) you will have stretch marks if your breasts are above A cup. 2) you will start to sag without the support that a bra offers. 3) it is classier to wear a bra, than let the world tell when your cold. 4) kid will thank her mother if she's given the choice... comfort is key.
Do you remember how uncomfortable it was when you started wearing a bra? the feeling of being tied up, the itching, the tags, the whole shebang? I wanted to burn mine....
2006-09-05 04:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she should be punished. If the mother indicates that she is to wear a bra, the issue is closed. What is the appropriate punishment? I am unsure of that as it depends on the individual parent. I would ground my daughter from everything if she was openly defying a rule set down in our house. It is unimportant what the girls friends are doing, her mother said to wear one, and she must live by the rules set down by her mother. She can go without a bra all day once she leaves her mothers house if it is that important.
2006-09-05 05:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the saying - You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink?
Same situation here - to be forced to do something will make her pull away all the more, and any form of punishment is completely the wrong thing. If she is embarrased now, imagine the psychological damage it can do to her if she is pushed into it.
At her age, not wearing a bra will not affect her posture or cause her breasts to droop (that comes a lot later on in life).
She is more than capable of deciding when she is ready to wear one.
2006-09-05 04:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by sarah b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she would find a sport's bra more comfortable. Have you explained how her breast's will sag later in life? I can't think of an appropriate punishment for her not wearing one ( I feel the punishment must fit the "crime"). However we parent's do make the rules in our home and if you feel that strongly, make wearing a bra a rule while she is at home.
2006-09-05 04:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is ok to do this. When my daughter was 12, she needed to wear a bra. I told her that if she didn't wear a bra a spanking would be in order. Sure enough, within a few days she stopped wearing a bra. I told her that for the next month she would have a weekly spanking (of her boobs, and her butt), and display session. I will explain each punishment, then explain the order.
Spanking of the butt: Completely naked, I had her lay in my knee. I used a ping pong paddle with holes drilled in it. I find this the most useful method. It takes very few smacks to form tears.
Spanking of the boobs: Completely naked. I had her sit on a chair with a very straight back. I zip tied her hands to the sides so that she couldn't rub her breast, or try to block the swats. I smacked with the ping pong paddle very hard smacks.
Crotch Spanking: I bought a fly swatter for this one. She was completely naked, and her legs were spread out with her hairy crotch very visible. I smacked it very hard.
Corner time (butt out): Completely naked. She was required to stand in the corner. She had two pennies. Both had to be held to the wall with a breast. One penny for each breast.
Corner time (Butt in): Completely naked. Clothespins were clipped to both nipples, and her butt had to hold up a quarter.
Display Session: Completely naked, laying on a table with butt in the air, and clothespins on each nipple. Anybody in the house at the time could see her. She sometimes had to hold her butt cheeks open as wide as possible.
The Punishment order:
Note: My daughter was not allowed to wear clothes from 8am until bedtime.
1. Butt Spanking (50 smacks)
2. Breast in corner time (45 minutes)
3. Breast Spanking (25 smacks per breast. 50 total)
4. Butt in corner time (45 minutes)
5. Crotch Spanking (50 smacks)
6. Display time (2 hours)
7. I repeated this 5 times each Saturday for a month.
8, After all 5 punishment sessions of the day, she was not allowed to leave the house, nor put on clothes of any sort. (not even underwear)
After the month was over, I bought a bra (size AAA) for her to wear for the next month. I zip tied her hands to the chair one last time, then I carefully put the bra on. Her brother just so happened to be watching... It was much to small for her oversized swelled, and red breasts. They poured out like non other. She was crying like a baby. I sewed the back of the bra, so that it could not be taken off. I gave her another few smacks of the breasts, and but, then I told her to put clothes on.
Since then, she has always worn a bra, and recognized my authority. My daughter is 15 now, and has only had 3 spankings like this one since the "bra incident". She does get regular spankings about every week for disobedience. Those are just 100-150 hard bare bottom smacks. Nothing like this. I believe that my daughter is very well behaved because of my choice to spank her. I think that every mom should make sure that her daughter is wearing a bra, and there should be a severe punishment for disobeying. However, when my daughter has her period, I avoid the crotch, and instead do the breasts. This is less humiliating for her I believe.
2014-12-24 06:16:44 · answer #6 · answered by Marylee 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know personally I didnt wear a bra until 13 but before then, I wore a sports bra, My mom suggested it, I said I wasnt interested. Then some appeared in my drawer, I have always liked Nike so she bought me a black and a white Nike sports bra and put them in my drawer, so when no one was around I tryed them on, and checked them out. My mom never said I told you or said anything to me when she saw me wearing them, she didnt want me to get embarrased. and the rest is history ...
Maybe your friend could do something like that?!? her daughter may not try them on right away but if she gets something said to her by someone other then her parents! she can choose to wear one, without it being a big deal
2006-09-05 06:15:28 · answer #7 · answered by Why? ... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, I think you should let your little girl age as she wants to. my mother forced me to wear a bra and I thought it was horrible. Maybe you need to let HER pick a bra and find one that is more comfortable that she is willing to wear. Maybe she isn't ready for the connotations of adulthood that wearing a bra carries. Do not punish her for this, it can be a traumatic time for a young woman and you are making it harder for her and embarassing the heck out of her.
2006-09-05 04:48:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the girl can wear a tight top. I know I thought bras were too sexy and was ashamed of wearing one when i was younger. Or you can show her some awesome bra models in the magazines and point that they can be a cool thing. Just let her decide ;-)
2006-09-05 04:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by viziata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can encourage her to wear a bra and you can even insist that she wear one around you, but you can't stop her from taking it off when you aren't around. If you want to punish her, go ahead but she will just end up hating you for being so controlling. Instead, if this is such a big issue for you, try asking her to be sure to wear one at certain times and under certain circumstances, when it is most important for her to be properly dressed. Be reasonable in your expectations and you will end up not driving yourself crazy.
2006-09-05 04:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋