At my end with Bioplar?

Question

My son is 12 and has Bipolar. He was dx when he was 9 and been on meds and doctors visits since. Here is my delima: Is it just a 12 yr old not wanting to do anything I ask and fighting with me to do anything (and I mean anything) or is it the Bipolar? He went to his dad's this weekend and only had enough meds till noon on Sunday but his dad refussed to bring him back till Monday night at 8:30. I'm not wanting to let him go back again because his dad won't give him his meds and also has Bioplar and thinks that they are both fine and nothing is wrong with my son or himself. Everytime he goes with him he cames back worse. I'm at my end here and I need ideas of how to get my son to cooperate and do what he is asked. I tried to pick him up off the floor this morning already but he weighs about 120 lbs. Spanking doesn't work and taking things away, well he has nothing left to take away. Unless my husband is here he won't do anything.

I sent the meds with my ex-husband for my son. I also called the police to see what we can do and explained what was going on. He was DX at Children's Hospital in Cincy, Oh. after spending 9 day's in the pyc. ward. This has been and ongoing problem with his dad and with him also being BP and not taking meds I can't get him to listen to reason.

Answer 1

He was diagnosed as bipolar at the age of nine? That seems a bit young.

Anyway, if your ex can't bring him back when he is supposed to, and is not giving him his medication, get to a judge and stop the visits right away. Your ex has no business doing this. Your son comes back worse because his father is undermining your authority.

Answer 2

I am not going to pretend to be a dr or tell you what you are doing wrong I will tell you what I have learned through my bi polar experiences.
It's very hard for a child to get a true Bi Polar DX. And it's not common for children to have it. You might want to get some more detailed testing done if you haven't already.

The one big thing with BP's is the meds issues,, alot of take meds until we feel better and then stop,, some of us, stop taking them becuase we don't feel like they are helping. And other truely don't want forien chemicals in their bodies.

I would suggest that you and your son and his father have a family session with your son's theraphist or dr and go over why he needs meds and why it's important for him to have a routine, with everything from bedtime and get up time to meals and meds. That's one reason hospital stays work so well for us,, we get the rountine we forget to put in our lives.

Some things you are saying sound like a typical pre teen,, I have two,, LOL but I think you should seriously talk with the dad and dr.

Answer 3

oh hun, get you some legal help. if dad is bipolar and not taking his meds your kid dont need to be around him. as for your son. if your sick husband has no contact and you take son to counselling and he is on his meds regular maybe then he can straighten out. DAD needs to be out of the picture until he can be responsible for himself. dont feel sorry for your son. bipolars arent dumb and can also be very manipulative. you gotta hang in there and stand strong for your sons sake hun.

Answer 4

You and your son's father need to have a better plan. You need to put your differences aside for the sake of your son and be sure that he is never without necessary medication. It is child endangerment to have acted in the manner you describe and frankly you are both responsible.

Answer 5

sounds to me more like a 12 year old being a 12 year old as far as the bipolar dad it is not uncommon for bipolars to think they are well when they are at a high point its only when they crash into deppression that they feel they need help

Answer 6

you definetly need to get your son and yourself and your husband into a family clinic for counseling at least once a week. to talk to a professional. your son will never change other wise. all the medication i the world cant fix the emotional problems that have been created along with his wild mood swings. and if his father has had a chance to "brain wash" his son to think differently than you and the doctors, then its more serious than i thought. you will have to have a trained counselor talk with your son and explain his own problems to him and explain was has to be done to help him control his own feelings and thoughts....otherwise someday it may become way too much for your son to handle when he is older and like alot of bi-polar people he will commit suicide and succeed. your husband should be taking this much more serious than he is. but because he isnt, its going to have to be up to you to save whats left of your family and seek some professional help. (it has saved my family.....my mother is bi-ploar and was very abusive along with it when i was growing up.) sometimes they never change, but at least in time and with help they can see more clearly how to be responsible for thier emotions and actions. your son doesnt even understand or know whats happening around him really. he lives in his own little world in his mind, and its sad, but its true, so get used to that fact and try to help understand his sickness. he really honestly needs more than just meds to treat this. sometimes with counseling a bi-polar person can do without their medication and get off of it altogether if they have the right kind of help and support (counseling and love ones to help them) just remember you son cant help it. its painful what he does to cause you pain, i know, but sometimes loving someone is painful but we have to do it, because no one else can do it like we can. be strong and hang in there, it can get alot better in time. good luck.