He put me on a diet of honey and locusts. Mind you that locust have a great animo acid profile but taste terrible and don't mix well in a blender. I felt the honey spiked my insulin levels and found myself tired 20 minutes into a workout.
His training methods were archaic and Aramaic. Personal savior, personal trainer, I'm not satisfied with either. Should I pay him?
2006-09-05 04:26:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Someone gave me a serious answer. I thought Christians didn't smoke weed!
2006-09-05 04:37:43 · update #1
If you cook them up right, those locusts taste like crunchy king prawns.
did he have you carrying that cross? That thing is heavy, and it worked my biceps okay, but the triceps and gluts were pretty much left to spread. *sigh*
2006-09-05 04:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by ZombieTrix 2012 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Psalms 14-To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David. The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, They have done abominable works, There is none who does good.
John 14:6-Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
John 3 :16-For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
2006-09-05 11:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by Maurice H 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That depends. Did you sign a contract for his services, or was it just a verbal thing? Because I've got to tell you, being sued by Jesus in small claims court is not going to be fun for you.
2006-09-05 11:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by lcraesharbor 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just did all these by yourself! He has no time to deal with diets and stuff like that!
Get hold of yourself! He is not a coach to be paid!
Read some good books! U R quite similar to Him, but you don't know it! He wouldn't B so arrogant to keep you down or do you in, if He...!
Ciao.John-John.
2006-09-05 11:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU is so-o-o funny! LOL, in hell, bud.
2 Chronicles 30:9 & 10
For if ye turn again unto the LORD, your brethren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land: for the LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him. So the posts passed from city to city through the country of Ephraim and Manasseh even unto Zebulun:
but they laughed them to scorn, and mocked them.
2006-09-05 11:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by Randolph 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give Him 30 pieces of silver
2006-09-05 11:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by bonzo the tap dancing chimp 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm surprised he finds time for that. I thought savior was a full time gig.
Don't pay him, he don't need the cash
2006-09-05 11:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just done me some Holy Squat thrusts
2006-09-05 11:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ichi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are doing the "abs like Jesus diet" work out?
2006-09-05 11:33:03 · answer #9 · answered by Rob 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he was my water aerobics instructor, but he kept walking on water...then he wanted me to carry his cross for him...i can't do that....next
2006-09-05 11:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by crowscraver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋