Well, I won't go into all the details, but I'll start with saying that I don't like to interfere with any one else's personal business. BUT.........
My mom has a gambling problem with scratch off lottery tickets. It's like an obsession or something. I don't understand why she does it, but she never really comes out ahead. And whenever she doesn't have anymore money, she gets in a real bad mood and she gets real hateful with people, or if someone makes a comment about her playing at a convenient store. She doesn't work, she uses her husband (my stepdad's) money. Sometimes they have a hard time with bills and stuff. I'm 26 years old, and I don't live with them, but I am concerned because I think it might cost them their marriage or something. Does anyone know what I should do? Again, it's not my business, but she's my mom and I love her. I want to help.
2006-09-05 04:13:52 · 20 answers · asked by Littlemissy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I've had a lot of comments asking if my step father knows about that gambling, and the fact is, he does. He gives her the money. They fight about it constantly.
2006-09-05 04:21:52 · update #1
Sounds like she is an addict. The first thing is that no one can help an addict unless they want to help themselves. The key to this is not to point out her problem directly but help her see it as a problem. You can do this by talking to her about other problems she has such as when she runs out of money. Have her make a list of where the money goes so she can see what is happening.
2006-09-05 04:18:27 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing is to realize that it IS your business, quite separate from her relationship with her husband. The fact is, someone you love has a gambling problem. You know it's a problem because it interferes with her life, both because of bills that can't be paid, and because she gets angry when she can't gamble more. Not all gambling addicts go to casinos.
Now, what to do? There are organizations you can call and ask for advice from, it's what they do. Just do a google search; I would imagine there's an org called gamblers anonymous that you can try. Confronting her should probably be your first step; try to get her to seek help. Make it easy for her though; know schedules of any meetings, phone numbers, names, etc., before you talk to her.
Once again, from what you have described, this is BAD. This is not a "marital problem" or a "personal choice." It is not "her own problem" either. Addiction is a disease, and as such needs to be dealt with. If she broke her arm, you would help her get help if she needed it, and this should be no different.
2006-09-05 04:24:10 · answer #2 · answered by aristotle2600 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try talking to her, but until she can admit she has a problem and wants to change your not gonna be able to do anything. Does your step-father know about her gambling? If not then maybe you should discuss things with him to.
And I don't think it's considered butting in someone Else's business when it's your mom and your only trying to help her, although she may not see it that way but when she realizes it she will be thankful. GL
2006-09-05 04:19:30 · answer #3 · answered by whitebeanner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you always open a can of worms when you get involved with another persons relationship, especially family. Furthermore, they are both adults and I'm sure they know the consequences of spending money wisely. If people are making comments to her, then she knows that people are concerned, and her response shows that she is not ready to deal with it. If you've talked to her in the past, a real heart-to-heart, then leave it alone. And don't feel that you are responsible for cleaning up any mess that your mom has made for herself.
2006-09-05 04:25:55 · answer #4 · answered by crowscraver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact GA, Gamblers Anonymous. Excessive gambling is a sickness like alcoholism and is treated in a similar way.
2006-09-05 04:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do anything you want to, but as far as your mom is concerned, she wont do anything until she is ready to, and you forcing it on her may repel her from you and any help in the future that you may be able to offer her.
Talk to your step-dad, see if this is becoming a problem for him. Let him know that you are supporting and will help where you can.
Other then that, not much for you to do.
2006-09-05 04:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by whatelks67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send her for counselling asap. ur stepdad sounds like a great person, if u want them to stay together, get some help today. its never too late to stop her from gambling. dun say that u're nosey, u're her daughter, so u have every right to love n care for her.
2006-09-05 04:20:15 · answer #7 · answered by gweneth lynn paltfeir 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check with her husband & see if HE thinks it is a problem. If so, contact a gambling addiction organization and see what steps they reccomend you should take - such as an intervention.
2006-09-05 04:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by mustanglynnie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.ncpgambling.org/
National Council on Problem Gambling
Information about problem and pathological (compulsive) gambling and to services for those afflicted with the disorder.
2006-09-05 04:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by Captain F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't change your mom. Try and talk to her about her problem but really you can't make her change. While I understand your concern you should just be there for her. She needs to recognize her problem and she is the only one that can make the change.
2006-09-05 04:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋