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I am in love with my best friend and i am trying hard to keep distance from him. What am i supposed to do to let him know that i dont wanna be his friend until i sort out my feelings for him? He is always checking on me, talking about his gf who by the way is very nice to me, telling me about his problems. I can't take it anymore. Please dont advise me to tell him about my feelings coz i cant do that. Dont wanna spoil a good relationship. I just wanna go away, but i dont know how. please help!

2006-09-05 03:32:28 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

28 answers

I am in the same situation. I'm getting the same advice from everyone. If you have such strong feelings for him that it's killing you, you can't stay his friend, it's going to be too hard on you and you'll never get over him. Best thing to do is to tell him that you have feelings for him as more than a friend and tell him that you have to do what's best for you so you can't talk to him or see him anymore. If he feels the same way about you, he'll tell you and that'll be great. If he doesn't though, then he'll let you go, and he'll be doing you a favor and you'll be doing yourself a favor. And if he ever does realize that he feels the same for you, he'll let you know. But don't sit and wait on him, move on. And you say you don't want to spoil a good relationship, which I have said too, but other people have made me realize that it really isn't such a good relationship if you are holding all this inside and it's hurting you. It's a good relationship on the outside, but you aren't being honest with him or yourself. And you can't just "go away" or he'll think you are a b**** and not much of a friend if you are all of a sudden "too busy" for him. I know it sucks, but you aren't going to be able to get out of this one without telling him how you feel, unless you don't care if he thinks you are a b****, which I know you do, bc you care so much for him. I know it's hard bc I'm going through it too. And I finally got up the guts to tell this guy how I really feel and I plan on doing it next time I see him and we are alone. Good luck, I feel for you.

2006-09-05 03:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well, if you keep your distance from him, he's going to think you're upset with him, or aren't interested in being friends anymore, and it doesn't sound like that's what you want. I wasn't going to advise you to tell him how you feel about him, because I'm sure it will pass. Get involved with other people as well, and you can find a guy that you can be with in a romantic relationship. You need to cherish this relationship with him on a purely platonic (just friends) scale, and keep it there. Guys like that are invaluable to girls, I had several good friends like that when I was in high school, and we still keep in touch, some 20+ years later. Best of luck to you!

2006-09-05 03:38:59 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0 0

It seems you know what/what not to do. More problems are sometimes created,when telling a long time friend,how you feel. Especially when he's already in a relationship,what good would come from it?
You can tell him,you're going through something(without telling him that)and that you need some time to yourself. Lessen the amount of calls you take from him(or make to him). Hang out with others,do other things.
You seem very sincere,so I hope things work out for you. Y.

2006-09-05 03:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0 0

Sometimes a friendship like this can seem over whelming. I sincerely believe that you can never lose a true friend, however your question is how do you tell him to keep your distance...

If he is a really good friend, then tell him that you have some things that need your attention and you may need his help by not calling you as much. Make yourself less available to him and by all means look for someone for yourself.

It's not going to be easy, however if you really believe that this is the right thing to do, you will get through it.

Personally I would talk to someone about my feelings, not to help me decide what to do because I have already decided, but to help me through it.

2006-09-05 03:42:31 · answer #4 · answered by J j 3 · 0 0

Tell him that you are stressed about a problem that only you can fix and that you space so that you can think. He is going to want to know the problem, so you tell him that it is a girl problem that only you can solve. Assure him that you will call him when the situation is resolved.


This may or may not work but the best advice is to try and keep your distance from him until you nerves to tell him the true problem. Also by being distant from him might cause the relationship to go down hill. Even though you do not want to tell him you may need to.

2006-09-05 03:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Be blunt and tell him you're going to take a break for awhile as there's some things you need to sort out. And while you're on this break, you will need personal time alone from everyone. Include the word "everyone" so he doesn't take it personal. If you do go away somewhere, tell him you will call people when you get back.

2006-09-05 03:36:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You should take your own advice and distance yourself away from him (doesn't mean stop being his friend)! It will take time but you have to just keep reminding yourself that he has a gf and your friendship to him is more important!
...the good ones are always your friends! It is plenty of guys out here in this world!!

2006-09-05 03:38:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you shouldnt push him away 'cause that could spoil the friendship also. he might not understand whats happening, he'll just see it as you dont want to be around him anymore for what every reason he can think of. stay freinds, but keep yourself busy, try not to be alone with him, go out with a group of your friends, try not to be too personal with him, eventually h'll settle into his new place in your life as still a freind but not so close a freind. good luck .

2006-09-05 03:38:30 · answer #8 · answered by bethelasa 3 · 0 0

Oww my friend, I am in the same situation as you I have the same feelings to a girl who is a close friend of mine. I dont want her to learn my feelings, just having a good time with her. She sees me as her friend. The only thing I can advise you is not to go away. wait for his move. But be sure to let him small clues about your love;)

2006-09-05 03:36:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You don't love him. You just miss not getting all his attention now that he's spending time with his girlfriend. Not to worry. You've turned to Yahoo Answers to get attention, and from your question history, I see you're getting it. Hope this sorts it out for you, and that you can realize that getting all the attention is not a necessity. You can be happy without being the center of everything.

2006-09-05 03:46:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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