Is it possible to get out of the friends zone?

Question

Im friends with this girl at uni, at the point that we say hi when we see each other, and have a small talk if we have the time.

Im interested in her, but she has a boyfriend, so im not going to try anything.

I do think about her a lot and want to hang out with her, but dont want to get stuck in friends zone. We have each others phone numbers, and invite each other out places but each time we do the other is busy.

I can either forget her (which is hard), become really good friends, or go for a relationship ignoring bf (which i want to but wont cos id hate myself)

I know people say the best relationships start with friends, but how do i become realllly good friends and still leave a possible relationship open, or will it kill any chances?

i must add that its been 8 months since i met her, and we clicked from day 1, and i would wait years if i had to, (if others came along i wouldnt pass em by, but i want to keep this option open if i can)

Answer 1

All the best relationships start as friends, so where you are currently (in the friend zone) is the best possible place for you to be at the moment.

Now you are going to have to make a very tough decision and that is do you aim at best friend status or do you aim and boyfriend status. (Your third option, to forget her, isn't really indicated because (as she seems to like you) that would cause her hurt, and I'm guessing you don't want to do that).

So aiming for boyfriend or best friend, and by the way BOTH paths can get you to boyfriend, it just depends on how it pans out.

My advice is as follows: if her relationship with her boyfriend is currently stable then you could do either of the above.

The first option would involve you making an overt move to supplant her current boyfriend. Now you must be damn sure in your own mind of two things before you do this - the first being that you are a better boyfriend for her than her current boyfriend and the second being that you are smitten with this girl enough to risk causing her hurt and/or loosing her completely if it all goes horribly wrong. You must bear in mind that you are breaking both the first and the second unwritten rules of relationships by attempting this (No.1 First you cause no hurt and No.2 You do not make a pass and someone else's partner).

The second option - aiming for best friends (when she is an stable relationship) is simpler. Just be there for her and be happy for her. The risk with this option is that you will never progress beyond best friend unless he relationship comes unstuck (see below) but I'm affraid if you choose this more decent path then that is the price you pay for your honesty and good nature.

If her relationship with her current boyfriend is unstable then that puts you in a much simpler position. You aim at best friend. You do not aim to supplant her boyfriend (doing so is an abuse of the situation and whilst it might get you a rebound relationship but that will be short lived and you will then never see her again aftewards). No if she is unstable in her relationship then you will want to be there for her to fall back on, be her shoulder to cry on, and generally be around so that when it all falls apart with her current boyfriend she will ON HER OWN turn round to that lovely man who helped her through it.

Whichever you choose, best of luck, and it is possible.

Answer 2

This is a hard one because she has a boyfriend. Don't close your options as far as friendship goes, because you are right, sometimes great love comes from friendship. Who knows, maybe if you become great friends with her, if she is having trouble with the BF you can be there to pick up the pieces. I admire you for not trying to step in on her boyfriend though, that is respectful. Good luck to you.........hope it works out

Answer 3

hmm...i mean first of all..she has a bf.. u gt to take note of that.. which means shes just treating u as a frend..tads all.. for now...being frends with her..is good enough.. maybe in the future..when shes single again..then..u cld try ur luck.. but for nw..once again..stay as frends with her..its the best option...;)..good luck dude..