Well, I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years, and our love life, friendship, communication, etc seems that it is almost all gone. I want it all back, but dont know what to do. I love this girl to death, and am TOTALLY lost. She is truly my all. What can I do to spark things back up? How can I make us both realize what we have? I really would appreciate honest answers and NO sarcasm. I am close to losing everything that keeps me going. We are stuck in a routine that is killing us...work all day, little time between us to relax, no time for a healthy sex life, and a lack of self-esteem between the both of us. Life seems pretty bad right now! PLEASE HELP!!!
2006-09-05 02:51:13 · 16 answers · asked by IdahoJoe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's normal to get "stuck in a rut" after a few years in the same relationship. You've lost sight of the person's happiness in view of all the responsibilities that life brings.
Try putting forth the same effort that you would if it was a new girlfriend. Take her out once in a while to a nice restaurant, or a romantic movie. Buy her all the little dating gifts, like flowers or chocolates. Leave love notes around the house for her to find. Breakfast in bed on the weekends, picnics in the park, walks in the moonlight, etc... Whatever you did to win her worked the first time around, try it again. Be as romantic as you can. Complement her often, let her know that you still find her beautiful, sexy, desirable... Give her plenty of oppertunities to hear how much you love her, talk to her about how much you care. Leave little notes about it, how sweet she is, how funny, whatever you like about her. Tell her what you just told us.
She'll respond little by little. She may even start to do romantic things back for you. If you want to bring the sparks back, you have to take the first step. Remember all that you know about her and use it. If she likes lilys, get her a bouquet. Send it to work so that she has something to smile over all day long. Then when she comes home, she'll be ready to thank you for them. If her favorite food is steak, have a steak dinner cooking when she gets home. This is your chance to prove just how well you know your woman. She'll love you even more for all the effort.
Good Luck!
2006-09-05 03:05:39 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to start to make time for the two of you. Everyone works. Surely you have days off. look back to when you were first dating. What did you do with each other that made you so compatible? Plan ahead and do some of those things again. Sit down and talk with her and tell her what you wrote here. She is your world and you would be lost without her. Everyone gets in a rut once in a while. The strong get through the hurdles. Keep working on it and you'll make it. Maybe both of you could ask for a day off work and take a mini vacation to a nearby resort or Bed and breakfast and just relax with each other. Stress plays a big factor in peoples lives. Do things that build your self esteem. Not everything is about the two of you together. If each one of you doesn't feel good about yourselves than you can't feel good together. Do things for yourself also. Good Luck and keep working. Just work on getting over this hump.
2006-09-05 10:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a sad situation.
As bad as things seem, at least you still have the desire to make things better. It's when you lose the motivation to make things better that you need to split up.
I don't know what your money situation is, but you have GOT to get away with her, even if it's just for a long weekend at a bed and breakfast. Doing something out of the ordinary is usually all it takes to rekindle sparks and romance.
In the meantime, show her that you care!!! I can't stress enough how important it is to do things like bring her flowers and jewelry, compliment her, and make her feel like she's the most important person on the planet to you. Bring her something every day for a week, and, at the end of the week, whisk her away for a romantic weekend. I guarantee that will get her attention, spark her interest, and have her wondering all week what in the world has gotten into you. ;-)
Good luck. You sound like a sweetheart.
2006-09-05 09:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation. Infact me and my bf broke up nearly a month ago. He now wants me back, and I have said that if we do get back together we need to appreciate each other more and start over again.
In your case, I would say go on a date, just like you used to when you were first together. Dress up and make a real effort and talk about the happy memories you both shared. This should hopefully make your gf realise how good things can be again if you both make the effort.
2006-09-05 10:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her some flowers----write little notes.
If the fire dont come back then it was meant to be.
Remember, u cant start a fire without a spark.
If it is worth it, get the spark back.
Take time to get up earlier before work and have sex and give
each other massages would help with the stress.
2006-09-05 09:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm, I've been with my husband almost 3.5 years and we have had our ups and downs. I work a lot but I've learned to stop saying, "I don't have time". We make time. I don't like routines! Try new things. Have a picnic in the living room, buy her some sexy clothes and don't forget the shoes!!! Wake up at 2 in the morning for a quickie!!! By the way those are fun, it makes you feel like your dreaming because you fall right back to sleep when you're done!!! Don't be afraid to be goofy! I sing stupid songs to my husband and I'll jump in the shower with him and start dancing like a dork and he just laughs and hugs me. Go for drives and just talk. Try to eat dinner together. Always say I love you. I hope all this helps. Don't be afraid to try new things!!!!
2006-09-05 10:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello.im kind of going through the same thing as you with my boyfriend,you guys need to set up sometime where you both are free and have nothing to do and you need to just talk about everything.see whats been going through her mind and try to rekindle that flame.try to do something romantic,like set up the kitchen with lit candles and flowers and cook her dinner or even just run her a warm bubble bath with her favorite scent for bubbles and light candles around the bathroom,set the mood and show her how much you still care for her.trust me this will bring back some sprk to the lod flame you used to have.at least a little.i wish my man cared enough about us to try to do something nice like that for me.your girl has a good man.good luck and i hope i helped you at least i little.
2006-09-05 10:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by jenny p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go on a holliday, u know communication is the key to every realtionship,u so need to unwindm yr lives are streesful and now it seems the realtionship is streesful and u dont want that, sit down get yr priorities clear first do u really need to work that hard? can u not take an off day togther? go on analise... it will wrk out.
2006-09-05 09:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by haboba13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok you both work. Do you have access to computer? How about writing a love letter by email? That might help. Also try and plan a romantic dinner. Even plan a picnic for just you two.
Some ideas, but I am no expert.
2006-09-05 09:53:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be romantic.. with her.. and be sweet and caring and Do the little things that makes her smile. go all out.. Why dont you Ask her to marry you. 5 yrs is along time. maybe thats what shes waiting for. but she thinks that you will never ask her since its been 5 yrs.
cause then she will get aggravated. and she will loose hope and think that her whole life will stay in one routeen. its the next step. i mean you love her so much. Why not??? Right.
hey if you do decide to want to ask her to marry you. then Congrats on the next step of life. i mean you only have one life. why not spend it with the person you love with all your heart.
2006-09-05 09:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_poetic_fire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋