Verbally Abusive Girlfriend - Should I dump her?

Question

Ok the deal is that my girlfriend has a problem. She is never wrong!!!!! Its always my fault for every major or minor argument we have. She regularly dumps and walks away. In short she is psychotic but I still love her. Damn I feel like a wuss but I can't help myself, when shes nice shes nice, but she just started uni and is all stressed about it. Anyway my point is today I meet her for 30 mins lunch. We greet and then I say "come on lets go", I hear her mumble then turn around and she calls me a cheeky c--t! All because I dared to work off without her permission. This isn't an isolated experience she regularly dumps me but always takes me back when I talk her around. She regulalry calls me names, even though I'm a gentleman with her at all times. I'm sick of it.......I know it doesn't take a brain surgeon to work it out but SHOULD I DUMP HER..even tho its so hard to. I do love her but I don't like what shes turning into.

Answer 1

If you think it is difficult to deal with now, it will be 100 x that difficult in a long-term relationship like a marriage. You really do need to dump her. She is never going to change. She is a control freak. She needs someone more submissive than you.

Answer 2

First, please be careful about taking any advice you get here or anywhere else. No one but you knows your situation. Some missing faces might change the advice you will get. Just take this for what it is worth.

I know you don't want to hear this because I am sure you really love her. I know that feeling myself because I had a girlfriend who was my life, but she was so jealous that it tore us apart. She was very loving and sweet, but then suddenly she went crazy and had me begging for her to stay. It was pathetic. I also noticed that her behavior was getting worse the more I put up with it. I think she got worse each time I asked her to come back after she dumped me. Again, I know you want some solution, but I don't think there is. If you talking to her about the problem directly and honestly doesn't help, then I suggest you break it off and don't talk to her again. Resist the urge to be friends with her because she will suck you right back in. It sounds like she has a lot of power over you and she will use your love to get back in there. If she could be loving and good to you that would be great, but she is a mess and sounds like she needs help.

Ignore those who will flame you. They don't know what your girl means to you or what she is like. They don't understand that a man can be so hooked on a girl that he will endure all sorts of horrors to keep her. My advice to you is, let this girl go and try hard to just get on with your life. There are many woman in the world who will appreciate a gentleman like yourself.

Finally, don't sit back and abuse or blame yourself. There is nothing you could have done better, more, less, or different that would have made any difference. She needs to learn some self-control and compassion for then man who loves her. Until then, she isn't ready for love.

I'm very sorry for you. I hope things work out.

Answer 3

I think you should dump her. Verbal abuse is the worse kind. Words hurt. She is also taking you on an emotional roller coaster; which by the way is very bad for you. If you let this continue it's only going to get worse and when you do decide to leave her you're going to compare other women to her! This can be bad because the other person you get involved with ends up paying for the mistakes she made and that is not fair. I know leaving someone you love hurts but it's going to be harder if you prolong it. I hope you make the right choice!

Answer 4

It's hard to leave someone you love. Even when it's a bad situation and we know it. But you have to live for yourself because if you don't respect yourself and stand up for yourself. She won't respect you. So first talk to her. And let her know how you feel about how she is treating you. If she does change the way she treats you then you need to move on.



Heres a couple poems that I think you like they're by Javan out of his book called a heart full of love


Where will I go
when there's no where to go
But away from you


What will I say
When everything's been said
But we're through


What lies ahead
When it all lies behind
But the memories

Will I have the strength
To wipe away the tears from my eyes
To give one last hug
And whisper "good-bye"



--------------------------------------------



Have you ever noticed
that the words.....
"Good-bye"
"I'm sorry"
"I love you"
Are so easy to pronounce
......Yet so hard to say


---------------------------------------
It hurts
To see you walk away
For admit it or not
You were an important part of my life
And the time we shared
Will forever be part of me
So even though I realized
That it was never meant to be
Still
It hurts

For it is never easy to say good-bye

Answer 5

Yes, i would if it were me. It seems very unhealthy for both, and you deserve better.

But this is you. Seriously think about this -- why do you WANT to stay with her? What is it that you love about her? If it's just that you worry about being alone or not getting anyone else, don't. There are a lot of fish and fishettes in the sea!

Consider couples counselling, if you feel she is worth it.

If she won't go, go anyway and then dump her.

Answer 6

Looks to me she is to much for you to handle. Be more aggressive and don't let her win. She may think you are a pushover and the only reason she still with you is because she has not found anyone else yet. Be verbally abusive back you know stand up for yourself. Then you will know if she can take what she dishes out.
Oh did I mention she don't respect you either that is the reason she acts the way she does :P

Answer 7

She just needs a time out - be patient.

First, you have to tell her frankly that you are fed up with her calling you names. THIS IS NOT to dump her, but to go directly to the point what you do not like her to become! Tell her you understand that Uni might be pressuring her, and that she can just compromise her stress to you - but calling names IS NOT A WAY OF COMPROMISE. Tell her it is an insult to you, and to her as your girlfriend.

However, if she doesn't learn from this - she may have a problem so you better back out, she needs a time of her own. Just bear in mind that for her to absorb what you just told her, she needs an ample time to gather herself first...

Answer 8

I think that you should start acting the same way towards her just so she can see how she is really acting, maybe for once you can be the forceful one and maybe she might even like that, you never know. If that doesn't work then just plain out right tell her that she can be a real b---ch sometimes and that you are sick of the whole bad girl image.

Answer 9

Verbal abuse often escalates into physical abuse. Think about it, was she this way when you first got together? So what will she be like in a few months? You have to tell her you will not take it, and you have to mean it. Sometimes, now and again, people change. But if she can't alter her bahavior and keeps demeaning you and trying to control you, then it's not in your best interest to continue seeing her. Sorry, and good luck.

Answer 10

Yes. You really should dump her. If you stick around and let her treat you like that, it's going to affect your self-esteem and lead you into similar relationships in the future. Tell her, straight up, "You're verbally abusive and I refuse to be abused anymore. Good-bye." When she comes begging back, tell her to get lost. Maybe it will teach her a lesson - which she obviously needs to learn.