Last year my 17yo cousin brought his new girlfriend to my grandmother's house for our family Christmas party. He had said he "might" bring her. My grandmother was very upset because she did not have a gift for the girl. The girl sat there with nothing to unwrap as we all enjoyed opening our gifts.
I was just wondering, as cousins are getting older & getting into "serious" relationships, if this happens again is a party hostess obligated to give a gift to someone they've never met, who may or may not show up for their party?
2006-09-05 01:27:29 · 16 answers · asked by hunny 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My mother has always had extra non-expensive gifts at her Christmas dinners because "you never know who will bring an extra guest". If they are not used they can be put away with the Christmas decorations & saved for the next year. You can get some decent gifts at dollar stores fairly cheap. My husband & I also try to take an extra gift or 2 just in case.
However, you don't want anyone feeling like a charity case, feeling embarrassed that you gave them something just because they were there.
You could try baking some extra cookies & putting them in a tin. Or just simply gushing over how beautiful she is & how excited you are to meet her and ask her if she'd like to be involved in hiding eggs for the kids at Easter... Something to let her know you're happy she (or he) is there and that you're including her in future family functions because you think she's so wonderful. That would make her feel happy, welcome, and not left out.
I believe that someone who shows up somewhere like that, where they do not know anyone, should not expect anything anyway.
2006-09-05 01:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Tender Hearted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that someone hosting a party is, somewhat, obligated to have a few things around. Box of chocolates, bottle of wine, spare gift cards, baked goods, plants. I don't think most guests are expectant of gifts, so whatever you've got on hand is welcome. I've had very good luck with decorative gift boxes, inside you can put candles or bath salts or cookies. It's good to have some lying around in the event of being a sudden guest as well. Not having the right amount of gifts makes the hostess feel uncomfortable to be unprepared, and it's best to know how many guests will attend. Perhaps you could make it your job to find out who your cousins will bring, making the hostess feel less pressured, and easing your own mind?
2006-09-05 01:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that people should bring people to family stuff unless they are very serious or that person has no where to go. Also your cousin should have given your family enough time- a might is not good enough. I don't think anyone in your family owes her anything and your cousin should have been the one to bring gifts for her to open!! How rude is that?!
I personally keep an unmarked gift under my tree for such problems- it's normally something I would like for myself like a bath and body works set so in-case I don't give it away, I get to keep it- Christmas present for myself :) But it's been very handy when a friend of a friend gives you an unexpected gift and you need something quick!
2006-09-05 01:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the party hostess is not obligated to give a gift to someone they're never met. However, it would be nice if you prepare a small gift for any occasion in case of unexpected guests; that just shows you're a nice person.
2006-09-05 01:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by themysterious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if the party host is obligated but it is nice to give your guests at least a small gift. What I try to do if we might have extra gifts at Christmas time, is buy small gifts that can be given to just about anyone. I wrap them and keep them separate from the other presents.
2006-09-05 01:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always keep a couple non-gender specific gifts on hand just for these occasions.....the candy suggestions already mentioned are excellent! Women's gifts could be just about anything....lotions, soaps, candles. Men's gifts could be a small gift certificate to a coffee shop, books. There's no obligation to give a gift but it's thoughtful and makes the guest feel more welcome into the home.
2006-09-05 01:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happened to me twice! First my daughter brought her boyfriend round and he sat while we opened our presents. I felt rotten! year after that my son brught one of his friends because he would be all by himself. Same thing! So after that i decided to prepare for the unexpected (Guest) And now i always buy 6 extra presents, nothing much really and i make sure 3 are for women, three for men. I wrap them up and keep them aside. It was my first time last Christmas and worked out a treat because 3 people called in on the morning! I had something for them all.
2006-09-05 01:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gifts are to be given out of thought- Not out of obligation. And being that she is just the girlfriend right now, there really is no family attachment. It would be different if she was the fiance' or future wife.
2006-09-05 01:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by Joe K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be on the safe side, have a few gifts wrapped up just in case it happens again. The gift need not be expensive, maybe some nice soap, handcream or candles will do.
2006-09-05 04:57:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 17 yo cousin is a Neanderthal slob, a degenerate and probably an acne ridden, back-woods buck toothed, freckled faced, Far Left Wing ACLU Loving Liberal Democrat to boot!
What a clod!
Sure Martha Stewart would have dashed off into the kitchen and wrapped a fork or something to save face ... but you didn't even do that?
2006-09-05 01:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by B'klyn Barracuda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋