Am I being a jurk getting jelious over an x lover being a friend and consuming time with my girfriend?

Question

1st, this is a long distance relationship. She has many male friends which is ok, but 1 bothers me. I started talking to her in may and fell in love, the male friend that bothers me was her lover in April then just became friends, he talks to her several times a week, mostly him calling her. She recently went out with him for drinks without telling me, taking pictures of them together. Then this weekend as I came up to visit her I’m trying to call her because the road signs are in French and cant get through, she was on the phone with him and it was just past midnight. There is a party coming up this month in which they were invited as a couple and she says she may go and that bothers me allot. Am I being stupid or am I right to be hurt, even if nothing is going on? There are more examples like this I could write, and I think it would be different if he was an old friend not a resent lover.

I have told her how it bothers me even though I don't believe she is doing anthing with him.

i love her very much and dont want this to end us, just want more regaurd for my feelings

Answer 1

Yeah u should be worried. Tell her how u feel and if it continues just back off. You would probably be much better off wihout her than hurting all the time.

Answer 2

Well my friend...i am going through exactly the same situation right now......you have all the right to be hurt and to be jealous....these are emotions which come around uninvited. The felling can be really bad. I am also jealous and i feel hurt very badly....
after all i have done for the girl and after all the sacrifices....she decides to go out with my best friend...
its gonna be hard for a while...time will heal. keep going! Time to move on buddy! thats life.

Answer 3

I think the fact that you are inquiring about it makes you not a jerk. Tell her how you feel and see how defensive she gets. Truthfully the point here is do you trust yourself to deserve a good girlfriend. Cause if she is then she will respect your concerns. Maybe she is waiting for you to let her know how you feel. And maybe you just need to find out how she feels about you. Either way not addressing you honest feelings about this will end up being resentful to your relationship period.

Answer 4

First, if she respected you and her relationship with you and felt the same way about you as you do her, then she wouldn't be going out with an old lover, especially to "couple" outings. My suggestion would be to find someone a little closer to home as she doesn't seem to be in any rush to settle down with someone who's long distance unless you are willing to move closer or vice versa (if this is reasonable and if she agrees with the move by you or by her).

Answer 5

dude they want each other okay. How much more clear than going to a party as a 'couple' does it have to be? He is on her mind and you are not. So why get hung up on stupid crap that will result in drama, when you can move on....plenty of fish dude.

edit: If she KNOWS your feelings and has little regard for them then why are you so hung up on a selfish *****? She obviously DOES NOT CARE. You're setting yourself up for disappointment, over and over again.

Answer 6

no i don't think your being stupid because i would be angre to if my boyfriend was on the phone with his ex past midnight. if it bothers you tell her i'm sure she would understand. jus tell her in a nice sensable way that you don't really like her spending all of her time with her ex. jus don't tell her not to be friends with him because that will push her into it even more. if you trust her then don't worry.

Answer 7

I'm with ya, bro. She really likes to push the issue, doesn't she?